Mejames,
Snake oil is actually not something you can buy, however, you CAN harvest it.
All you need are a few snakes, a grill, and a sunny sundar afternoon with some beers.
It is pretty simple, first you want to kill the snake. To make this task easier, i would reccommend against using rattlesnakes, black mambas, pit vipers, asps, or anything else that can kill you in one strike. Personally i preffer a large burmese python. (the bigger the snake the more the oil)
Next, slice the snake right down the middle and open it up. Fire up the grill, and get it to around 550-600 degrees. Then put the snake on the grill, with the opened belly facing down.
Grill the snake like that untill the meat has turned a dull grey-brown. Make sure you occasionally press down on the snake with the spatchula, this will get its fats to drain down.
Now, you also wanty to be sure you have a very clean grill, because you need the juices that flow from the snake and dont want it mixed with other types of animal fats. One method is to create a funnle out of aluminum foil that will drain the fats to the grease catcher.
When the snake is no longer dripping, take it off the grill and remove the meat and put it on a plate with fresh chopped greens beneath. I reccommend a good cherry ramalaude glaze to be brushed on, it really brings out the flavor, another good way to enjoy the snake is with some tartar sauce.
After yer done eating, you gotta go back to the grill and remove the grease trap with all of the snake fats in it. Scrape all the grease out of the trap and put it in a small pan with some water. Bring the water to a simmer and let it simmer for about 35 minuits, then remove it from heat and let it cool down a bit. There will be a layer of oil across the surface of the water now, this is snake oil. I reccommend usnig an eye dropper to get the oil off the surface of the water without getting too much water.
Now this is why you want to use a big snake, because you can get i mililiter of snake oil per 3oz of snake. So using a 20lb burmese python obviously yields more oil than a 1/4lb garden snake.
Voila, you have snake oil and a full stomache from a fine meal. Feel free to sell to audiophiles for $200.00 per gram. Or, use it on the spindle, it drastically reduces friction over other conventional oils.
There ya go! Snake Oil! :)
