Does loudness play a part in your appreciation?

I attend concerts at Boston Symphony Hall and have measured loudness at my seat in mid-orchestra floor at up to 90 dB on orchestral tuttis during late Romantic pieces like Mahler or Bruckner.  

Mahler's second symphony (Resurrection) was played in the first concert after $100-million was spent fixing the acoustics of the Sydney Opera House.  Not my money, but well spent!  This symphony would surely have some of the greatest dynamic and emotional ranges in the repertoire, from pin-drop quiet to cacophony. 

The tam tams (gongs) at the end should be played so hard, they rarely get back to vertical.  Gilbert Kaplan was head of a chemical company but got himself taught how to conduct, just to play this symphony.  He has conducted it around the world and I have a performance on CD.  Not quite as good as Sir Simon Rattle, but Sir Simon is a percussionist ...

Am I missing something? Audio rigs produce microcosms of live music. There's no alternative, unless your living room is the size of the venue. Or consider how loud a trumpet is when played by a real person. Do you want that in your living room? I didn't think so.

Given that these are microcosms, it's just up to all the variables involved and there is no right way to listen. 

Absolutely right.  You can’t reproduce  a symphony orchestra In your living room. Even if you match the decibel reading level it will not sound the same.

Either my meter is broken or my ears are too sensitive, but listening continuously at 80 decibels is deafeningly loud on my system, which doesn’t distort no matter how loud I play it.

0 -70dB Normal piano practice

70dB    Fortissimo Singer, 3’

75 - 85dB Chamber music, small auditorium

84 - 103dB Piano Fortissimo

82 - 92dB  Violin

85 -111dB Cello

95-112dB Oboe

92 -103dB Flute

90 -106dB Piccolo

85 - 114dB Clarinet

90 - 106dB French horn

85 - 114dB Trombone

106dB   Tympani & bass drum

94dB    Walkman on 5/10

120 - 137dB Symphonic music peak

150dB   Rock music peak

This is just wrong in that it considers neither distance nor directionality.

The sound emitted from a woodwind expands in a whole different set of directions than a brass instrument where the sound comes out the bell or strings where the body is the resonating cavity.  Volume at a mic is affected accordingly.

Are we really to believe that an 8’ Steinway at fortissimo would be drown out by a cello or an oboe?