Glad to see you re-join us. I am also sorry to see that there aren't any "high-end" audio/video dealers in your area. But on the other hand, I am glad to see that you tend to utilize your time wisely when you are out of town on business trips. So, I take it that you always put aside extra time to visit "high-end" shops to audition gear when you are travelling?? That's good. At least, you are making the most of your time just like I said.
But now, anyway, on to the equipment.
As for a processor that is upgradable, and has balanced outputs and sounds great with movies as well as with music, then I would look processors such as the Sonic Frontiers Anthlem, the Proceed AVP, Theta CassaNova, and the NAD S170 (a "music first" A/V Processor that is part of their "high-end" Silver Series). Check out those four if and when you can. I am sure you will find something that will tickle your fancy out of those four magnificent machines.
And as for the DVD Player?? Exactly, how much are you willing to spend?? Because I am thinking though, your California Labs CL-20 DVD Player may not be upgradable, you could still keep your CAL Labs player and use it as an audio CD Player only if it sounds as wonderful as you say that it does, and then I would just go ahead and just get me a good, dedicated DVD Player with progressive scan capablilty instead. The Arcam DV-88 and FMJ DV27 sound like wonderful choices and as such, I think they should remain on your shortlist, but I would also like to suggest a Camelot Roundtable (if it is not too much out of your budget), as it will also sound great for CD playback, is upgradable (I think, but I am not THAT sure though), and is a top flight DVD Player (better than my Pioneer Elite DV-37 according to "The Perfect Vision"). I don't know if it has any balanced outputs however. But I would have to think that if a machine such as a Camelot Roundtable costs as much mint that it does, then I would think that it would. Let us know what you finally decide on in that department as well.
And now, the TV. If you are looking for something in the 60-Inch to 65-Inch range for around $4,000.00 to $5,000.00, then you should find candidates aplenty. If a 60-Inch to 65-Inch RP HDTV is what you are really looking for, then surely, you can get Toshiba for under $4K. According to the latest offerings on their website, for well UNDER $4K at that. You can get a 61H71 for $3,000.00 (which is a 4:3 aspect ratio set with 16:9 aspect ratio capability), a 65H81 (which is a 16:9 aspect ratio widescreen set) for $3,800.00, and a 65HX81 (which is their top of the line "Cinema Series" RP HDTV, which is also a 16:9 aspect ratio widescreen set) for $4,000.00. But if I am going to spend $4,000.00 to $5,000.00 for a RP HDTV, then I would also have to look at Pioneer Elite as well. Aside for going for a plasma set, if I am going to consider a "high-end" RP HDTV, then I think Pioneer Elite is the way to go. For that kind of money, I think that they're still the best sets money can buy.
I hope this can help you a little bit.