My love of music is killing me.


I have been a music lover my entire life but now at age 51 I just can't listen without falling into a deep depression. My oldest son Devon inherited my love for music and took it even further. By age 25 he was a VERY talented guitar, bass player. We use to take turns playing tracks for each other just to broaden our herizons....but his gone now. I lost Devon 11-27-09 after a 6 year battle with cancer. I held his hand as he passed that night. The illness took everything but his love of music. His right cheek bone, right upper jaw bone, a rib, muscles in his abdomen and back,sight from his right eye...and finally his life....I could do nothing but watch....wishing it was me laying there going through that hell. Its been a year and a half now...his birthday will be next week. He would of been 29. Now when I listen to music I cry instead of smile. May be one day the joy will return but for now there is a hole too large to fill.

Hug your kids....Pease.
dean_fuller

Showing 1 response by has2be

Dear Dean,

I commend your bravery for sharing your greif and loss and reaching out is a positive action for you to choose.

I could not begin to write or qualify words that would even comprehend or understand your loss. The relationship between you and your son and the loves you shared, try your very best to see those great things as your focus and remember how happy you and your son were having them. Remember the positive happy memories and the music will always keep your conection strong and those positive memories you shared are the focus you need to see far an above the tragic and difficult circumstance you have endured.

Those positives are what made him so special to you as you were to him and I firmly beleive he would wish you to think of him and yourself by celibrating the life you shared and for you to find happiness and joy in your life and music.

Godspeed Dean