My love of music is killing me.


I have been a music lover my entire life but now at age 51 I just can't listen without falling into a deep depression. My oldest son Devon inherited my love for music and took it even further. By age 25 he was a VERY talented guitar, bass player. We use to take turns playing tracks for each other just to broaden our herizons....but his gone now. I lost Devon 11-27-09 after a 6 year battle with cancer. I held his hand as he passed that night. The illness took everything but his love of music. His right cheek bone, right upper jaw bone, a rib, muscles in his abdomen and back,sight from his right eye...and finally his life....I could do nothing but watch....wishing it was me laying there going through that hell. Its been a year and a half now...his birthday will be next week. He would of been 29. Now when I listen to music I cry instead of smile. May be one day the joy will return but for now there is a hole too large to fill.

Hug your kids....Pease.
dean_fuller

Showing 2 responses by dean_fuller

Thanks folks for all the encouagement. I wrote the email because it was on my mind big time. Watching others out taking their family...their kids for granted. Like they will always be there and there will always be time to make it up...say I'm sorry.

I knew Devon was not going to be with me for long. What was worse was HE knew he would not be here much longer either. How alone he must of felt. But he wasn't. I was there.

I really wanted to help others wake up and see what they have. Its too easy to get tangled up in the crap that is our lives. Money, vacations, a bigger house...its all crap without sharing it with those that we love. REALLY...if you love your wife, husband, kids...don't let ONE day go by without letting them knowing it. The night before Devon passed I went in his room and I told him " Love you bud". He always answered "love you too". Don't cheat yourself out of knowing you said what you wanted BEFORE you regret it later.

I miss him every moment. The only thing that keeps me going is I hope to see him again.