Good old days

Frogman,

 You are so right.  Our training as musicians ingrains in us a quest for perfection.  Which leads to a pretty good stereo system but also the impossible quest for perfect sound.

As an experiment convert your system to a mono setup.  See if you like it any better.

RV, I don't know whether or not this will be helpful but I'm familiar with your listening issues, suffering from them to some extent myself. Historically speaking I've thought that 'depth of image' was the final measure of the quality of the stereo experience. For years I've focused on having the front of my speakers at least 6 ft from the wall. Got a nice 'airy' sound and pretty fair DOI. I accepted this and spent my time trying to get the right tonality. Very recently I got really experimental, for me at least, and decided to move my speakers back towards the wall. I've gone from 76" to 45". I've maintained my triangle, 10 ft apart and 11ft from chair. What I got was, for my purposes anyway, amazing. A much more focused, solid, mid-range and an overall more natural sound, not so airy and a bit of loss of DOI, but, and this was a real surprise, the tonality improved! Now when I play music the audio aspects no longer dominate my attention, the music does. FWIW.

BTW, Listening in mono might replicate your car experience but I doubt that you'd be happy in your room. Your preamp has a 'mono' option, you could try. Also, since your CJ also has two outputs, you could get a second pair of speakers and amp (small and cheap) and put them elsewhere in your room, somewhat close together and listen to them in mono.  Much as I like frogman's comments about getting out of the sweet spot, perhaps doing so and having a mono option/second set of speakers would be the best. Lastly, FWIW, you've been listening to, and participating in I'm sure,  music which is well understood and appreciated. When I listen to that music now on my system I try to avoid playing music which is less than involving lest I start listening to 'audio'. Most of my listening now is to music I'm less familiar with so I can listen to the music or the 'audio' depending on the music and/or recording, what ever. :-)

Newbee,

Thanks for your suggestions. I will experiment.

@rvpiano

Good topic. And, comments.

I have found that my scale of "critical listening" is environmental and/or task related. I am grateful when some reasonable fascilime of a musical experience is available where I am. Having music present is, and always has been, important to me. My attention to the music, thus involvement depends on where I am, and what I am doing. It can range from "musical wallpaper" to "fully engaged and emotionally attached to the performance".

Examples:

While Driving: avoiding a catastrophic kinetic event is more important than the music. So, being "distracted" by other vehicles weaving in and out of traffic is not a bad thing. Music gets demoted, as it should. By, the way, car audio systems can be very enjoyable. There’s something to be said for near-field listening in a quality system. Kinda like listening to a decent set of headphones -- while the bass gives you a pretty good back/butt massage.

Patio: Conversation takes center stage. As long as the music doesn’t suck, life is good. A "minimally engaging" experience appeals to guests.

Boat House: The esthetics and sounds of lake living fill the senses. 20-year-old (highly modified) Bose 301s are "good enough".

Office: ADS 200s with custom-built subwoofer, powered by hybrid vacuum tube/SS amp. It looks really cool, and sounds "okay" with good sources. The problem is that I like music a little too much and can’t get any work done when ANY presence of music is there. So,the music is OFF when I am working.

Home Theater: Someone wrote a story. Someone (maybe the author) wrote a screen play. Others wrote music, provided props, wardrobe, sound effects. Did the author’s story get told, and was it somewhat believable in my space? If the answer is "yes", it met the objectives.

Main System: Turn down the lights. Reduce ambient noise and other distractions. Grab enough beverage to make it through atleast one album side. Strap myself in, and listen -- critically. Arriving at a space in time where the energy and presence of someone’s musical contribution is playing out in my listening room is most gratifying. Don’t spend much effort thinking about -- what if? Maybe tommorrow? But not today. Just having way too much fun.