Girlfriends and wifes, how do YOU cope?

I subscribed to various audio magazines and was an enthusiast for the first 16 years of our marriage without moving away from my system that I bought in college (which was nothing to write home about). During the last four years, Katie bar the door! My wife and I jointly auditioned many different speakers and amps in our home (the kids too!). She absolutely noticed the difference and we agreed on the best set-up. During the last two years or so, oh boy did we go through a lot of upgrades. Lately, I generally did the research alone but often was able to audition before buying. This made all the difference because audio differences are really not all that subtle once you actually pay attention.

Since my wife runs the finances I don't hide anything, nor do I want to. Great sound costs more and is a constant search. It's more fun when you don't do it alone. Which is why I involve my family and why I enjoy everyone at Audiogon. BTW, I wouldn't recommend the 16 year approach to anyone just starting out; things just happened that way, but I do remind her of all the money I saved during that time. Cheers.

Greg, I'll give you three tweaks and a small box of cables for your mother-in-law! How about just for a week or so? I bet you and she could clean up by having her tour the country and helping more Audiogon spouses see the light (er, hear the waves) ;-)

Sek, you make an interesting point and most can hardly disagree. Certainly, hobbies should generally play second fiddle to a long term relationship. At the same time, good long term relationships are "give and take" so successful ones are usually those that allow everyone involved to express themselves and be themselves.

I would like to add though, that the gear and the music are wed (no pun intended). Food and shelter are certainly the highest priorities for everyone, but art is not frivolous (going back to pre-historic times, it has always had a place in even the most desperate conditions). The gear is much like the canvas -- necessary to convey what is really important. Do we tend to spend toooo much time on the gear? Sure. But that's our hobby, and the means to the passion: Music.

To your point, let's not let it interfere too much with all our other passions in life. Thanks again for the thoughts. With that said, let's keep having some fun with this ;-) Cheers.

Slawney. Very nice discourse. Sounds like you destroyed her heart and she destroyed your "heartware". I'm not getting into a discussion of which is most dear. However, if we flip this around a bit, aren't many of the responses in this thread related to inclusion and sharing as the keys to coping? If a woman destroys the things you love if she is treated wrong, does it follow that she would protect the things you love most if she is treated right?

Basement, I can't imagine being in a relationship where my partner doesn't support my passions; or where I don't support hers. Music can and should enhance relationships and become a part of them -- the music, gear and expenses need to fit into the flow of your journey together. The gear is not the competition, it should be treated by both parties as a vital augmentation of the relationship. Keep looking and you'll find someone who feels that way and wants to support you as much as you support her; like Tim, I feel really great when my partner brags about the sound (equipment is the necessary evil to get the music right).

Welcome to the 'Gon Darla. I look forward to hearing more from you in the future. By the way, those air mattresses with the electric blow up pump attached to them are very comfortable. If you sell your furniture, save enough money to buy one of those ;-)

Homer, do you actually have time to listen to your system?? ;-)