If she isn't into the gear, is she into the music?

My wife wouldn't choose to have any of my gear, but does appreciate the sound. She enjoys listening as long as I keep the volume down and she can reach, stitch, or play on the iPad. The system is in parallel with the home entertainment setup because we have a small house and no extra rooms. Our "office" is a box in the coat closet and a MacBook. No listening room for me.

I wasn't permitted to buy a new disc unit until she could hear an improvement over what I already had. When the primary turntable needed some TLC, the caveat was to "do it once and do it right."

Now when the subject comes up, she goes on about how the ultrasonic cleaner (my latest investment, and worthwhile too) made even her old LPs from college tolerable again. Going on, she'll add (get this) they're not quite at the level needed for the high end table - the cleaner can't fix damage, just dirt. They're fine on the old semi-auto Pioneer, though.

Then we come to the material. DiMeola. Zappa. Zappa. Clarke. Bruford. Palmer. Ponty. Metheny. Corea. Yes. Gabriel. Floyd. King Crimson. Gentle Giant. Utopia. Belew. Levin. Rundgren. Eno. St. Vincent. Mclaughlin. Byrne. Beethoven. Holst. Wagner. Strauss. Mozart. Getz. Benson. Klugh. Coryell. Davis. Rich. Herman. James. Goodman. Dorsey. Miller. And more.

We met because of a car. At Watkins Glen. And got married there. And we're still gear heads in more than one way 28 years later. Ferrari, Maserati, Healey, Lotus, Simca, SAAB, Allard, Lancia, Porsche, Triumph, Alfa Romeo, Mustang, Corvette, Challenger, SVO, SRT, AMG, Andial, Alpina, Abarth, Matra, Hesketh, Shadow, Lola, March, Minardi, Arrows, TWR, Wolff, WRC, F1, WEC. And more.

I had a GF into music, she loved live performances and such. Sadly the relationship ended after 2 years.

I guess I'm luckier than some--I had my system as a permanent fixture and in my own house before I brought my wife in, so she accepts this is the way I am, and that music listening is my pastime. She does like a lot of my music, or so she sez. But yeah, she is mostly concerned with social media and talking to friends, while I sit and groove--way down deep, more like a meditation. I enjoy an inner experience, whereas she is more outwardly oriented. I like that tantric idea, though.......

Lose anyone who gives you any hassle initially, will only get worse.
End of story.