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WAF, Help, Need Strategy

Hello Folks.

Nee some suggestions or stratigies.

I just got back from the house im buying, was working on laying hardwood floors, picked out the paint, and ran cables for surround in the living room. (buying the house off of her mother who wants to move due to empty nest syndrome)
It is a modest 225,000 house in denver, (houses are expencive here) The living room is about 20ft by 20ft, big enough for the TV, AV rack, surround, couple couches, recliner, plants, whatever.

I was talking with the fiancee, and she said we could put one of the couches over in a spot that I had already decided my 2 channel system would go. I mentioned that and she rolled her eyes and gave me "The look"

I know some people like having a dedicated listening room, but I feel uncomfortable being tucked away, I like being in the main living area.

I don't want to integrate HT and 2 channel, and I'm making a lot of compromises.

The surround sound setup will use a Denon 2803/3803 and Definitive Technologys Promonitor 60 setup. Nice, small, easy to conceal, and it sounds pretty darn good too.

The 2 channel system will comprise Green Mountain Audio Europa's, a Krell 300 integrated, My DVD-A player, and possible down the road a nice small Rel Subwoofer.

Neither system will be very intrusive, Im already sold on the Europa's, cheap, excellent quality, and not too big.
The Krell 300IL is a nice looking piece of machinery as well. Plus it will match the walls.

Basically, ive given up on full range floorstanders, tried to choose equipment that would match the décor, and put a lot of thought into a system we could both enjoy.

She still aint buying into the idea though. I explained how it would match the décor, I explained both systems would do a good job of blending in with the room, and would not stand out and be imposing, but im still having a hard time getting this to fly.

Any suggestions?

How did you get the wife to accept the gear you wanted, in the room you wanted it? And tricks? Tips? Suggestions?
slappy
wildoats
339 posts
 
Do you really think your gonna win this one? Slappy, your toast!
jb3
45 posts
 
Do you have a closet nearby? That is how I got around the issue, I put the gear in the closet and only the speakers in the LR. So long as the closet isn't too small there is no real problem with heat, and it keeps the dust down too. The downside is that it usually leads to long runs of cable.
The closet might also come in handy if you just install everything like you want it while she is out, then you can hide in the closet till she calms down.
bwyoung
143 posts
 
Been married 22 years. Wife had no idea when we married how twisted I would become in the audio department. Over the years there have been many compromises, but I have to say she has put up with a lot, mostly financial inconvenience. However, my system is pretty intrusive in our family room.
I concur with some of the excellent advice given above. I would choose the best 10 and read them several times.
As for my $.02;
A) Your reasons for keeping 2 channel separate from HT are not very compelling. With today's technology and your present equipment, I don't see your argument. The Krell 300iL is perfect for integrating the 2 channel with your HT.
B) My wife has been 'moved' more by the MUSIC and the differences in sound than any other single factor. You should not be in a big hurry to see this transformation, or you will lose!
C) Over the years my wife has realized that this is more than a passing fad or hobby with me and first tolerated it, then accepted it, and now supports it. She has seen how much I enjoy this hobby. I mean how great is it when your wife buys you a $6,500 piece of audio gear for Christmas, or last anniversary she buys me a $1,400 pair of Transparent UltraXL speaker cables for biwiring my B&W's. (They know her by name down at the local high end dealer in part because she drives a hard bargain and can garner equipment discounts much better than I).
D) Take the slow approach. You will probably change your equipment many, many times over the years. Every time it seems to get more expensive. Don't win this battle and lose the war.
E) It's only stuff! Plus, it's stuff that will be outdated in a very short while. Shoot, your stuff is already outdated. Put your wife first.
gliderguider's avatar
gliderguider
294 posts
 
Here's what worked for me recently. GF and I bought a house for the two of us and 1.83 of her 3 daughters (based on average occupancy :-) She knew going in that I wanted a listening room, so the deal is that I don't compromise at all on the listening room, and we do things by consensus everywhere else in the house (except for the kids' rooms which are of course off limits to normal human beings).

It's worked out well. I give her a majority say on how the rest of the house is set up, which works fine because our tastes are identical. She lets me do what I want in my audio refuge.

Two things help with this. The main one is around the money issue. GF says that the money I brought into the relationship is mine, and as long as I bail my end of the boat I can do what I want with it. It's a far cry from my ex-wife, where every expense went through a major justification exercise (and "It's better than what I have" didn't count...) If you can get an agreement that there is a pool of money over which you have complete dominion, it saves a lot of grief. There's a lot to be said for having three bank accounts - yours, mine and ours.

The other thing that helps is if she likes music. GF doesn't get the audiophile thing, but she loves good music that's well reproduced. As a result we have a semi-extravagant system in the living room as well as my big rig.

Aesthetics aren't as big an issue with GF as with the ex, so having a stack of electronics on a rack in the corner fo the living room is OK with her. She even likes the Cain & Cain Abbys flanking the leather couch. If appearances count, as they do with most wives, the only way around it is to get the electronics out of sight in another room or a nice cabinet, and to take her shopping for any speakers that will be in "her" space.

But putting the "serious gear" into a room in which you don't have to compromise is the best way I know of to keep peace.
tobias
1,534 posts
 
Slappy, thanks for this post. It gives me a chance to think how I would feel if I were in your place.

Right now, honest, I would be willing to say, "Dear, do the living room the way you want. I'll set up a system somewhere else." I would mean it too. If I had to, I'd do the headphone thing.

That's my last position, my bottom line, Plan B. That's what I go into discussions with. So in negotiations, I am starting at a point where any concession she is willing to make over the living room is a gain.

Other posts have much better suggestions than I can think up. I'm only putting my 2 cents in because of the great opportunity you have offered. My own attitude to these things has changed over recent years. I used to think that women's lib meant my partner and I were equal in all things. Equality turns out to be not what I thought. Food and the house, for example, are female domains and things go much better if she gets the final word in them. ( I just hope we like the same things. ) The car and the audio/HT gear are two areas where I get final choice, if I want it.

You are now dealing with a situation in which the masculine (audio gear) and the feminine (home) intersect. Honesty, generosity and tact are required. Good for you! Thanks again for the post. Let us know how it works out.
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