Getting married, and I need to redo system.. ?'s..


Hello Everyone:

How is everyone doing today??? I hope everything is going all and well for each and every one of you. Now, I have something I to discuss with all of my fellow "Goners" here at "Audiogon", and I would appreciate any input or opinions that any one of you may/will provide to me.

Okay, now that the formalities are out of the way, I got something I want to share with all of you guys here at "Audiogon". The VERY thing that I want to share with each and every one of you is this. It has recently been discussed with my girlfriend of four plus years and it has been decided that we're going to be tying the knot. No date has been set as of this moment, but right now, we're shooting for the spring of 2004. And while some aspects of my life may (and in fact, will) change after I say "I DO" to what is going to be my "better half", the one thing that's NOT going to change, is that I am NOT going to stop being an audiophile. I say this because the way I see this is this. If I marry her, I am going to be marrying her for her. And that means I will have to put up with all of her. And that goes for all of the points she has about herself. Her good points and bad points. By the same token, she will have to put up with the same thing from me as well. And also, as part of the package, she has to know (in fact, she and I have already had that discussion) that she's marrying an audiophile as well. And if she is to be married to me, she's stuck with an audiophile for life. But now, with the intentions of getting a house together someday, I am hoping on getting a house in which either will have either a room that I can convert into an "audio/video room with a home office", or a basement that has a nice sized room that I can seal off from the utility room and the laundry area, and then what I will do after that is hire an acoustic technician and have some acoustic tile installed, and then hire an electrician to redo the electrical system of the whole house so that I can beef up the electrical capabilities of the room in question so that I can install the kind of system that I really want to install in the room that I have just so mentioned. What I am going to probably be doing after that is kind of redo my system up to the point of where it is going to have to be a consolidated and downsized version of the systems that I have right now. And those systems are as follows.

HOME THEATER (located in my bedroom):

Panasonic CT-27SF37 "SuperFlat" 27" Television/Monitor
Toshiba SD-2700 DVD/CD Player
Sony SLV-R5UC S-VHS Hi-Fi VCR
JVC HR-VP638U VHS Hi-Fi VCR
Harman/Kardon AVR-210 Dolby-Digital/DTS Audio/Video Receiver
Sennheiser HD-580 Headphones
Monster Cable Interconnects
Monster Cable HTS1000 Power Center Surge Suppressor

AUDIO SYSTEM (located in my living room):

KEF Reference 102 Speaker System w/KUBE Equalizer
Adcom GFA-545 MkII Power Amplifier (100 WPC)
Adcom GFP-750 Active/Passive Line Stage Preamplifier w/Remote Control
Magnum Dynalab FT-101 FM Tuner
Terk AM FM Q Amplified Antenna
Thorens TD-165 Belt-Drive Turntable (not yet hooked up)
Grado Prestige Gold Moving Magnet Phono Cartridge
Pioneer Elite DV-37 Progressive Scan DVD/CD Player (being used as a CD Player)
JVC XL-M509TN 6+1 CD Player/Changer
Nakamichi BX-300 Cassette Deck
MITerminator 2 and 3 Interconnects and MITerminator 2 Speaker Cables
Sanus SF-24 Speaker Stands
Monster Cable HTS2500 Power Center

And now, here's what I am proposing my system will look like after I become a married man.

AUDIO/VIDEO SYSTEM (to be located in either in a den, or in a room to be determined in a basement once we get our house):

KEF Q1 Speaker System (mains or fronts in a home theater system, or the main speakers in a stereo system)*
KEF Q9c Speaker System (center channel....... to be used in home theater only)
KEF Q8s Speaker System (surround channels...... to be used in home theater only)
REL Strata III Powered Subwoofer (in a finish that matches the KEF Q1 and Q9c)***
Rotel RMB-1075 5 Channel Power Amplifier (will eventually replace the Adcom GFA-545 MkII)*
Rotel RSP-1066 7.1 Surround Processor/Preamplifier (will eventually replace the Adcom GFP-750)*
Sennheiser HD-580 Headphones (retained from old system)
Creek Headphone Amplifier (Special Edition Version)
Magnum Dynalab FT-101 FM Tuner (retained from old system)
Magnum Dynalab Indoor/Outdoor Antenna (to replace the Terk AM FM Q Amplified Antenna)
Monolithic PS-1 + HC-1 Phono Stage with matching Power Supply
Rega Planar 25 Belt-Drive Turntable (the "table" I plan to own after I upgrade the Thorens TD-165)*
Grado Sonata Reference Moving Magnet Cartridge (the cartridge I will upgrade to after replacing the Prestige Gold)*
Sony DVP-NS999ES Progressive Scan DVD/SACD/CD Player (one player will have to do it all)*
Nakamichi BX-300 Cassette Deck (again.... retained from old system)
Panasonic PT-47WX52 or PT-53WX52 47" or 53" 16:9 HDTV RPTV (but not both)*
Sony TiVo and the JVC HR-VP638U VHS Hi-Fi VCR (to replace the Sony SLV-R5UC)*
Microsoft "X-BOX" Gaming System
MITerminator 2 Interconnects (retained from old system.... new ones will be added later on)**
MITerminator 3 Interconnects (retained from old system.... again, new ones will be added later on)**
MITerminator 2 Speaker Cables (retained from old system.... new ones will be added later on)**
Osiris Speaker Stands (if they can be found, they will be added to the system later on)*
Monster Cable Reference Power Center HTS3600 (will eventually replace the HTS2500)*

* means that these components will replace the ones that was previously in my system. For example:

The KEF Q1 will replace the KEF Reference 102's
The Rotel RMB-1075 will replace the Adcom GFA-545 MkII
The Rotel RSP-1066 will replace the Adcom GP-750
The Rega Planar 25 will replace the Thorens TD-165
The Grado Sonata Reference will replace the Grado Prestige Gold
The Sony DVP-NS999ES will replace both, the Pioneer Elite DV-37 and the JVC XL-M509TN
The Panasonic PT-47WX52 or PT-53WX52 will replace the Panasonic CT-27SF37 SuperFlat
The Sony TiVo and JVC HR-VP638U will replace the Sony SLV-R5UC S-VHS Hi-Fi VCR
The Osiris Speaker Stands (if found) will replace the Sanus SF-24 Speaker Stands
The Monster Cable HTS3600 will replace the Monster Cable HTS2500

** means that more cables will be purchased later on to accomodate the additional channels that the home theater is likely require/demand.

*** means that the REL Strata III Powered Subwoofer is going to be used both in stereo and in home theater

And finally, the rest of the components that I did not name or mention in my current home theater will either be sold, put on consignment, given away to charity, or any other means deemed necessary. But the given is, they will be eliminated.

But anyway, that's the way my new "combined" audio/video system will look after I am married. And when you stop and think about, my system won't be changed all that much. It'll just be changed enough out of necessity, but my new system will pretty much look the same as my current one(s) do now.

What do any of you think???? Do any of you have any questions????

Thanks in advance for your replies.......

--Charles--
128x128chaskelljr2001
Hello All:

I would like to express a heart felt thanks to everyone who has responded so far. I seem to be getting plenty of good advice as to what I can expect out of married life once I say those "all so fatal" words "I DO". And all of the advice I have received so far will be considered very heavily, or will be adheard to to the letter.

And now, I would like to make a few "individual" responses for a moment mind you????

(01). "Kotta" (Bill): Thanks for wishing me the best of luck in my upcoming marriage. I think that down the road, I'm going to need it. We won't be getting the house right off the bat. I still (and I believe she does too) have some bills that I need to finish taking care of first before there can even be any serious talk as far as us getting a house is concerned. I believe she has some other bills she needs to take care of. And I may need to pay off a student loan, a few credit cards, and still need to deal with an ongoing car payment before there is any talk of us getting a house and taking on what is potentially, a 20-to-30 year mortgage (which is something that she and I will do together...... and I will turn 40 in April, 2003. So that alone is something to think about in itself). If and when that comes to being, then I do plan to go through with the "room in the basement" idea, and I am going to be pretty gun-ho about it. When it is time to change the speakers, the KEF Q1 is going to be my choice, as it seems to fulfill all of the requirements I am looking for from a speaker. Mainly, I am going to looking for musicality first and foremost. Then I am going be looking for video sheilding (something that the KEF Reference 102's are not), and then I am going to be looking for looks and fit and finish as well, which as for now, the WAF is going to be a big factor as well. But again, thanks and regards to you as well.

(02). "Jmcgrogan2" (John): "Your explanation of how as part of the package she has to know that she's marrying an audiophile, blah, blah, blah is very logical and makes greats sense to me. However, women are different from men. In general, women are more emotional and men are more logical. Sure there are exceptions, I got married because I thought I had me an exception. I didn't.
My advice: if there is anything that you want, any piece of gear, regardless of price, buy it now. Buy as much as you can now. The purse strings will tighten up after you say "I Do"".

And my response is, you're right. Nothing else could be further from the truth. And believe me, your advice is great advice, and it will be "WELL" taken. And since I plan to trade in for a lot of my new gear anyway, most of my new gear is already going to be there when my fiance and I finally exchange our vows. All I have to say is when we are at my apartment for one last time to gather which things are going with me, and which ones aren't, all I have to do is point to all of my gear and say "honey, "ALL (and I will mean ALL OF IT)" of this stuff is going with me, and then don't bother to discuss it further with her, and then point to the other stuff that is NOT going, and say that stuff will stay, and as far as I am concerned, we can get rid of it". About the only thing that I won't have by the time we move into our new home is that High Definition Widescreen Rear Projection Television that I want so badly. But I think that with a little time, patience, and some loving persuesion and a little give and take, I think I can talk her into letting me get one of those as well. But anyway, thanks again for the great advice, John. Your advice will be well taken. And yes...... I am going to plan to maintain my own money, and I am going to have credit cards that are going to be separate from hers.

(03). "Sean": Great idea. I am going to forget that I am an audiophile, and make sure that as soon as our marriage starts, that we will have our financial house in order, and that any money matters that's going to come up before, and right after the marriage starts are going to be resolved right from the start. Any matters or situations that may come up at anytime during the marriage will be dealt with when the situations present themselves to the forefront. The preliminary thing we're going to do right now is split all of the expenses down the middle. And that will include the rent (and later on, a mortgage hopefully), the utilities, the telephone bills, the medical bills (if any should ever incur), credit cards, insurance premiums (for health, our home, and our cars), food, and whatever else may come up. I was going to even thinking about trading in my 1999 Honda Accord EX sometime after next year or so. But now, I probably just go ahead and keep it. Because with a new marriage happening and all, that alone is going to be expensive. And with that burden standing in the way right now, I don't see where am I going to come up with the money to get me another car (and I want me an Audi A4 2.8, or a Lexus GS-400). So as it stands right now, it looks like the Honda is going to be sticking around for awhile. Also, I don't know if we're going to be getting any joint accounts or not. We'll deal with that issue when that comes up. I am sort of leaning against doing that, but at least, I am willing to listen to what she has to say about that issue when that issue comes up. I prefer to take care of the expenses she and I will be incurring together, and then keeping our incomes separate after that. That is, she holds onto hers, and I hold onto mine. That way, she can buy all of the clothes that she wants to buy (and god knows what else), and I can continue to pursue my hobby, which is audio. Lastly, even though I will be turning 40 next year, biological studies will indicate that I can, and am able to father children until I am in my mid 60's. So, I have at least 25 more years to father children if I choose to do so. My new wife (but my fiance now) won't be as fortunate. She's going to be 44 in December, and I don't know how long she has to go before she starts to deal with menopause. But it is safe to say that in the next couple of years, she won't be able to mother any children after she finishes going through menopause. So, I don't think we're going to encounter any problems regarding children or anything of the sort. And I also hope she's a keeper as well. Well...... only time will tell me so, wouldn't it???

(04). "Drasta": For what plasmas go for right now, I ought to be able to get her a "GIANT" sized diamond for about the same price. And I cannot afford either one of those. She's already getting a diamond (though it won't be a really fat one...... but it will be a nice one), so I think that she should be content with that. And to answer your second question...... no...... I haven't told her about my "proposed" system yet. But since it's to be housed either in a den or in a room that is inside of a basement, and not anywhere else in the house (the living room...... god forbid), I don't think that it would even matter. Also, I plan to have a lot of this gear already before I walk down the aisle with her. So, it's not going to be a matter of acquiring any gear after we are married. It's already going to be there, and it will be going with me to the new home if and when that happens. So then, in hindsight, neither the Aego-2 or the Aego-5 systems will not do it for me. And Bose systems need not apply.

(05). "Twl": Thanks........ And believe me, I will. And even if I don't get 100% of what I want as far as a system is concerned after about 5 years of marriage, I am going to stop and evaluate where our marriage is at that point, and where it is going, as well as where it is heading. Trust me when I say this. This is not going to be the type of marriage in which I being the male partner in the marriage, is going to concede to all of my wife's needs and wants. I am going to make sure that this is going to be a 50/50 marriage. I have to give up some of the things that I want to do sometimes just for the sake of trying to keep the marriage going, and I expect her to do the same. I say this because, if it comes right down to the fact that I am doing all of the conceding, and she's hardly doing any of her own, then there is going to be problems in the marriage from the get go. And as a man, to a man, I am going to be a man of my word and stick to that ideal. If there are not going to be any potential marital problems or any causes for possible marital discord later on in the marriage, then it is going to be imperitive that both partners (meaning she and I) are going to have do some give and take sometime. That's the one and ONLY way that our marriage is going to survive. And when I get my Rega Planar 25, I will keep that in mind when I go and get a cartridge for that. And for that, I may consider either an Audio Technica AT-OC9, one of the moderately priced Benzes, or the Dynavector model you have just mention.

(06). "Psychicanimal": I would like to do that. But depending on what type of home we end up buying, that might pretty impractical for me keep separate systems. That is why I designed the system that I have designed above. So I can have the best gear that I can possibly afford with regards to musicality, and video performance as well, and try to keep things as simple and on as small a scale as possible.

(07). "Tsrart" (Pat): Yeah........ that's what I thought too. My fiance and I have already had this "ALL SO IMPORTANT" discussion, and it sounds like from the beginning, she's going to be supportive about me and the continued pursuit of my hobby. But she may be saying one thing now, and might do something totally different later on, when we are finally married. So, in that regard, the jury is still out on that. Let's give it about 3-to-5 years into the marriage so I can see as to how far she's willing to let me go as far as future equipment purchases are concerned. Or I could be down in the room with my system's volume control turned all the way up to the 12:00 or 1:00 position (which means my system will be EXTREMELY loud) and I could be tapping at a great performance that I may have in the CD Player, or I could be up and about on the floor getting my groove on, and all of the sudden, she could have temper tantrum and blow up at me either for something I might have done wrong, or she could tell me to turn it down pretty frequently (too often for my liking). And believe me..... nothing kills the moment or the mood than having your wife do that to you. So, I like your optimism. But maybe I better wait and see if I really am going to end up with a good one or not.

Well, like I said to all who have already responded. Thanks and keep the responses coming in. I definitely appreciate the input I have received so far. You all are a great bunch of people to be around.

--Charles--
Gentlemen, I submit my qualifications: 50 yrs. old, married 15 yrs., three college degrees (Doctorate), and sufficient life experience. Your expectation before marriage and the reality after will be miles apart. The answer lies in the advertisements for Paxil , bipolar disorder medication, etc. All the ads are aimed at women because they suffer more than men from these emotional illnesses. Unfortunately people change as they grow older and women more than men. I hope your situation going forward is different but the statistics are against you.
Charles --

I do wish you the best of luck, and hope that you have gotten a "good one."

I meant to respond to some of the other posts that have appeared in this thread, as I've been following it with some curiosity, but now I see it slowly but surely turning from "audiophile marriage advice" into something that I feel is dangerously close to outright misogyny.

Happy audiophile marriages are doomed because women are likely to suffer from emotional disorders? What??? Why not go whole hog and point out that Charles will also have to keep his system VERY quiet for 5-7 days every month, or remind him of all the OTHER ways in which woman is inferior to man?

I may not have a doctorate (I quit after my Master's), but I speak as someone who is VERY happily married to one of those women with an "emotional illness" -- an anxiety disorder stemming from 18 years of an abusive father. You might just as easily decide that you will have NO problems at all, because your wife is much more likely than you to die of breast cancer at a young age, or that it doesn't matter at all, because you will probably be spending all of your money on prostate cancer treatments by the time you are 40.

And change happens to everyone, regardless of sex, unless they choose to stagnate -- there is no growth without change, and my mother always taught me that intelligence is defined as the ability to adapt.

Wives are NOT the enemy, people, or at least they shouldn't be. It's very easy to go on about the innate evil of womankind when a man's poor choices are actually to blame . . . but that doesn't make it any less unfair.

Charles, why do you automatically assume that your wife-to-be is likely to change her tune in 5 years? Is she untrustworthy? Has she not kept her promises in the past? If so, then the question is not "How do you keep your audiophileness," but rather "Why are you marrying her?" If you expect the worst of people, they have a way of living up to your expectations . . . . if you can't at least give the woman you're planning to spend the rest of your life with the benefit of the doubt, then I'd hazard a guess that, down the road, your stereo volume is likely to be the least of your problems.

Darn it, now I've gone and responded after all . . . .

Sorry for any tendencies towards combustion in this post, but I feel very strongly about this issue.
Tsrart, I'm glad you are happily married. I've heard that there are folks out there that are. Just out of curiousity, how long have you been married? Do you and your wife have children? I ask because these generally are major factors in how happily married one is.
Good luck you will need it! I hope you have an exception to the rule.I've been divorced for over 2-1/2 years, and was with the same woman for 13 yrs. She also had emotional some problems to deal with. I guarantee you that if you get rid of something you will not get it back later. As was mentioned before she WILL try and "change" you! It's a game that you won't win,especially if and when children come into the equation. My ex and I left on good terms and she even teased me and said "now you can fix up your room the way you wanted to". Guess what, I did! Congratulations and once again good luck.

Vern