Calling All (Any) Cartridge Alignment Experts in Western North Carolina

While you track down the ‘scope guru, order a MintLP protractor and get yourself a cheap USB microscope. Accurately setting up a cart isn’t that difficult if you’re not optically straining (and you’re using a mirrored arc protractor). Will a ‘scope allow for a more accurate setup? Yup. Will you be able to tell the difference? Doubt it. 

Many thanks for all of the responses. It appears the best bet is to take a valium, chase everybody out of the house, say a prayer, and devote an afternoon to setting it up myself. I have a Clearaudio protractor that served me pretty well setting my current cartridge, but I will look into the Mint LP protractor and a cheap microscope (hat tip to you, nrenter, for this suggestion) to help me ensure I've got it lined up correctly. Much obliged to everyone.

waltersalas OP

I do not recommend the Mint. I have been down that road. It is very difficult to see the parallax implemented by Yip with his mirrored protractors and worse, it does nothing to guide you to proper azimuth or SRA or VTA. And, even if those shortcomings were ignored, the Mint relies on accurate specification of P-S. Good luck with that. I guarantee you a stiff neck, bleary eyeballs, and frustration if you use the Mint. 
As for Schubert, I would love to know "1/4 inch off according to what?" Schubert must have been too cheap to pay for Brian's travel time and his work could easily have gone "off" in transit. Further, Brian is for all intents and purposes using an oscilloscope by using a software system that implements the same methodology in more sophisticated form.
There is so much misinformation on this forum that my head wants to explode. I need to find a better forum with better informed denizens. 

Of course, with a Mint, you're relying on the manufacturer having their S2P distance correct from the factory. Something VPI has problems with.

I'm in Greensboro.