How do you audition speakers at a store?


I would love to know how you all audition speakers in a store. 

Here's my context, which may help explain my question. While I'm not as experienced, knowledgable, or wealthy (!) as many of you, I'm not new to this game, and for the last 35+ years I've made all my serious purchases through one store that I trusted (Take 5, in New Haven). I knew the rooms/acoustics in the store, I knew the owner, and I felt comfortable spending hours there listening to music, often just trying things out. I once spent six hours in one day comparing Maggies, which I ended up buying, with other speakers. I'm sure this sounds familiar to you all. Alas, the owner recently sold the store, it moved location, and, as I live 5-6 hours away now, I'm not inclined to try learn a new environment and a new staff. (I do wish them good luck, though!)

So I find myself without a safe harbor. There are at least four different speakers that I want to hear, in at least three different dealer locations. It's a big purchase for me, in the $4,000-$7,000 range. I feel like a rookie! I'll bring some of my own music and q-tip my ears in the morning, but:

What tricks do you have for leveling the playing field, moving past the psychoacoustic "tricks" that dealers might have to promote one speaker over another or simply the difficulty of mentally trying to hear a speaker as it's going to sound in your own house? I was reading in another recent thread that "Many speakers are voiced to impress during a quick audition, often with a "smiley" EQ." (The poster candidly admitted that he loved them in the store but after a few hours at home they were too bright.) Especially if I can't compare speakers side by side--that is, if I'm going to different locations--what recommendations do you have for minimizing the initial WOW that can happen (because a dealer is a good salesman, because the speakers play "big," because the oriental rug in the room is sooo beautiful, because the room acoustics in one store are better than another, because the amp/components/cables are WAY better than anything I'll ever own, etc)? I also have read that we may be initially drawn to certain acoustic qualities that can shine at first listen but may grate or disappoint later. 

In short, what are your methods for listening "past" a store's environment and the excitement of listening to a new sound ... and hear the real speaker as it will sound in your own space ... for years to come?

I don't know that it matters but I'm going to start my search looking at Kef (Ref1), Harbeth (C7ES-3, 30.1), and Spendour. If I can find a Joseph Audio dealer, I'd love to hear the Pulsars.

Finally: thank you to this community for accepting and welcoming newbies to this culture!
northman
These are wonderful responses, and although there's no silver bullet there are some great suggestions that I hadn't thought about. Of course it could indeed be the "second most important relationship in my life"! Luckily, my most important relationship is pretty easy going about all this; my wife doesn't care much about music and is understanding as long as I don't scare the horses, as the saying goes.

I hadn't expected to feel so unmoored by the retirement of "my stereo guy" and the relocation of his store. I'll just have to whack up the ginger, as Bertie Wooster might put it, and lean forward into a new store, hoping they are accommodating. It's going to take a few trips and a few stores; it's not in me to show up at a new place with a CDR, some of my own equipment/cables, and a picnic lunch. 

I also appreciated the suggestion above to "dress accordingly"! I feel like I'm going on a first date!
Though a couple of hours from New Haven, Audioconnection in Verona NJ should be on your shortlist.-Especially, when you want a dealer who won't judge you on your appearance, and will give you honest answers and listening time to your hearts' content.

Bob
Thank you, Bob. Even though I kept relying on Take5, I moved to Vermont twenty some years ago. I've only heard great things about Audioconnection, and maybe I should make the trip. Google tells me it's a 6 hour drive so I will at least see what I can find a bit closer. I hear good things about the two places in Nashua, NH. I know Natural Sound outside of Boston pretty well, too. 
Visit a few shops. Listen. Look. Live. Open your heart. Choose. Life is to short to spend years test-driving. If after 3 months of break-in it is not for you then move on. I realize that 5k is not trivial, but in the end, making a choice and moving forward is less stressful than fretting over endless options.
I am curious with the hundreds of well reviewed speakers that
you could have it down to four companies? Another company near you is DeVore. I like two of your choices quite a bit. Spendor and Joseph. Why are you only considering new? The pulsars can be bought used for $3,500-$5,000 all day long. The new version is $9k. I guess you can see I like that one best. 
You have most all the listening tips above. One more is to download the free decibel X app and make note of the range you like to listen to music
in on your home system. It could be 60-65db for example. Then when shopping before any dealer sets a volume level at 80dbs, explain you listen at X and have your phone out and the app on. 
The oldest trick in the book is for the volume game to be run on you.

Here is another thought. Go to the Axpona show in Chicago in April.
If you are not absolutely dying to spend your hard earned cash this month, consider taking the approach that you want to hear and learn as much as possible before your $ and you part way. Embrace the process.
 
Vermont may not have an organized audiophile club but NY has several.
See Stereophile online for the list. These people will probably be very willing to let you join their club and listen/learn from members. Some
will own exactly what you are interested in. Joseph is located nearby you. Go do a factory visit/tour. 

I envy the fun you have ahead of you. If you buy new and they don't allow a home trial, go elsewhere. Of course if you beat up the product
on your home trial expect to be dinged yourself. 

Keep us posted on your experiences. I will enjoy hearing them!