Sellers increasingly overgrade records

I don’t know if grading inflation has gotten worse- maybe it has- but it’s always been a problem for used records. Play grading is the only arguably safe way--brick & mortar transactions that give you the opportunity to inspect may be better than online transactions, but a lot of damaged records can look fine and play horribly. (The calibre of TT/cartridge set up in some brick & mortar stores also makes me reluctant to play test the record on such machines. Same at shows).
Craig Moerer (Records by Mail) is an established seller with a large inventory and is consistent; he typically grades everything VG+ on media to be conservative. But he doesn’t have everything. (I did buy a Vertigo Clear Blue Sky from him that is quite rare for $50 dollars- he cataloged it as a reissue, when it was an ex-UK pressing, not a reissue).
I rarely find what I am hunting in stores, though I’ll buy stuff that I’m not "looking for"- same with shows, which may have some of the stuff I’m chasing, but often at nutty prices. (You can negotiate, but if the starting price is 2x market, why bother?)
I buy mostly online- I have a dialog with the seller if it is a high value record- it will tell you much about their knowledge and approach. If it's is an expensive record, they will often play grade at my request; sometimes, they downgrade their rating and offer a price break (I don’t usually go for that bc i’m not looking for a cheaper flawed copy); sometimes, they are candid and say "this isn’t the record for you." I don’t think most legit sellers want to go thru the return process any more than I do.
It isn’t foolproof- LPs are by their nature almost inherently subject to flaws, but a discussion with the seller- confirming deadwax, condition, warps, etc. is a pretty good way to reduce if not eliminate some of the more common problems. (A lot of times, the information about the pressings is wrong in the listings- get the deadwax and label if it isn’t listed /shown to confirm). That said, I still get the occasional clunker. If it is a cheap record, I don’t waste more effort on trying to return, negative feedback (though I will write to the seller privately); if an expensive not cheap record I will return, but it is a pain.

Not always in my experience. I know Records by Mail, he is generally good, though I did throw away couple of warped records from there in the past.

Would never buy records on ebay as you always get garbage.

I do talk to sellers sometimes. In most cases they want to get rid of me and my questions, at other times I get -you don't like it send it back- response. And I can't say I am fanatically strict, if stated NM record has couple of ticks that's alright, I still consider it NM, and VG+ is too broad in fact for all people to agree on.
I never buy sealed records - you never know what's in there and usually you can't return them.
Biggest problem for me is expensive shipping from and to Japan, often it makes little sense to return the record if shipping is not refunded as well.

Thanks for the Records By Mail recommendation...never heard of this.

My Discogs experience has been mostly negative although it is a good resource for pricing, IMO.

I’ve had success with carolinasoul who has an ebay/Discogs presence. I’ve never had an issue with lps rated VG+ or higher. I’ve been to their physical store several times and they have good stuff. Worth registering for their weekly auctions.