"...this is only a test. Your attention at this point is an outrage and will be dealt with in the most devious and demented fashion as is inhumanly possible. You IP address has already been collected and is now being distributed to all available 'single Russian women wanting your company' and all bootleg Viagra dealers guaranteeing 4 hour + erections. All of your log-ins will be changed to 'MasterDebator' and all email contacts will receive a high-res image of a baboon's butt."
And if you believe Any of this, I've got some lake bottom property waiting for your signature on a bill of sale....
