You might be an audiophile if...

Your lady comes out of the bedroom, wearing a slinky negligée, and a "come play with me look", and you tell her just another half-hour until I finish cleaning vinyl on my VPI.

Letterman's Top Ten for Audiophile and Home Theater Obsessions:

10) You get a complaint about noise...from your local airport.
9) Your electric company builds a substation in your backyard
8) Your H.T uses as much cable and wire as found in 3 average homes
7) Your speakers are bigger than your refrigerator
6) Every time you play a Bach pipe organ piece, seismographs register activity
5) You get rid of your wood stove, because your tube equipment puts out more heat
4) You have more filled equipment racks than your local radio station
3) Your new preamp is the best one you've ever heard, and your system is finally finished. You trade it in next week for a different one.

2) You own at least 10 different vinyl pressings of every Beatles and Stones album
1) You can "hear" the sonic differences resulting from a 3 degree ambient temperature change.