J-Lo should give 50% of her earnings to Versace'. W/o that green dress she would have been nothing. Interestingly, she is not a half bad actress, but her vocal talents are mediocre. As far as a no-talent goes, how about Ashley Simpson?
At least J.Lo has a nice rear. My nr.1 is Britney Spears - come on , it is got to be her.
White trash at its best. But away any EVERLAST FANS.
Tiny Tim - appearances on Laugh In circa 1970 -- even as a kid , could never figure out what the deal was.. was this guy supposed to be funny?
2nd: Yoko Ono
Perhaps our friends from across the pond can back me up on this one, but how about......
you can't beat drunk,disorderly, falling down on the stage, fans walking out, and issuing threats???
have you heard William Shatner's album 'The Transformed Man'? it's so bad, it was reissued for its camp value. I use it to clear out parties.
Vladimir Horowitz, who ever told him he could play piano?!
(just kidding) :)
I was about to say Britney too but reconsidered.Those upskirts entertained me a lot so in some way she's a good entertainer.I give my vote to Barbara Streisand.Nothing but a huge ego.And please,Barbara,no upskirts!
For classical musician I would say Franco Bonisolli...So bad that most people wouldn't work with him. He was supposed to do an Opera with Leontine Price at LA Opera, and after the first rehearsal, Leontine walked out and flew back to NY City...Type his name into youtube and see the non-operatic stuff he did...
As for popular music, when did Paris Hilton become a singer...look that up if you haven't seen it. I would say that she barely beats out Britney.
I am glad I started this post. I thought of Tiny Tim but I always believed he was just a novelty act and never to be considered a serious performer. Now Yoko Ono is a great one and never crossed my mind until now. Looks like she was really hoping to hang on to lennons tail coat and squeeze out as much as possible.
Florence Foster Jenkins, the dowager soprano. Thank God she had money and could rent her own halls and promote herself, instead of inflicting herself on others.
Yoko is certainly cut from the same cloth, but Mrs. Jenkins delusions were even more self created.
A lot of possibilities . . .
Milli Vanilli, I mean, getting caught lipsynching to somebody else's voice? THat's 0 for 2
I think the 80s were a low water mark for truly bad performers. . .the recording industry and radio had made the evolution of music as product.
Think about popular radio in the 70s--on a single station you'd hear Elton John (Pure Pop), The Spinners (Soul), Led Zeppelin (Rock), Jimmy Buffet (Country Caribbean), Simon & Garfunkel or just Simon (Folk Pop). In order to get played you had to compete not just in your genre but with all the others as well.
By the 80's format radio had emerged. There was (IMHO) a land grab and there wasn't enough music to go around--therefore, demand created a vacuum that sucked up plenty of "artists" that would not have made it if they had to compete in the broader "rock" or "pop" categories, etc.
I came of age in the 80s and there are plenty of extraordinary artists, like Elvis Costello, the Police, Steve Forbert, etc. But this era gave serious airtime to acts like Banarama, Kim Carnes, et al. But I have to say the one that absolutely grates on my nerves to no end is a guy named Corey Hart (Sunglasses at Night). This screech was at least as bad as Mark Wahlberg in Boogie Nights when he was cutting a track (great scene) to launch his musical career.
Excellent I remember reading about her in a book called strange and peculiar people. One Newsweek critic once noted ,"she sounds as if she was afflicted with a low, nagging backache."
Phil Collins makes my skin crawl but there is no denying that Yoko is officially the worst.
How about Peter Allen and Liza Minelli? She is in my opinion not even a shadow of her mothers talent.
Amen to the Phil Collins,Lokie! Sad day in history when Peter gabriel left Genesis! Good drummer,but Su-su-sudio and the thing with Philip Bailey made me sick-sick- sickio!
Let us also not forget Yanni............
Great Love Songs by: Jim Nabors (aka: Gomer Pyle) from the Andy Griffith Show. Surprise, Surprise, Surprise
All of the above.
If Phil Collins and Yoko would lend themselves to a duet, one could argue that the onset of Armageddon had been defined.
Terry Bradshaw, former Pittsburgh Steelers QB and current TV personality actually had the brass to cut a record about 25 years ago. Yoi!!!
Yanni............yes boring boring and boring. I would rather stick sticks in my eyes than listen to that guy. Now Jim Nabors is a little different, there was a good voice in there and he did produce a very good timber. I guess he really never comunicated very well using it, always had the feeling I was listening to a member of the Lawrence Welk band.
singer/non-songwriter Michael Bolton
My idea of torture would be to expose someone in an inescapable situation to an endless loop of Barry Manilow. Also worthy of consideration; all those (there sure seems to be a lot of them) flat female Brazilian Jazz singers, Chet Baker, Cindy Lauper and Neil Sedaka.
Phil Collins is an AMAZING drummer and live performer with Genesis. I too dont support much of his solo work but lets be real, this guy has GREAT talent. Listen to the early Genesis albums right after Gabriel left.
As far as his drumming goes, hes right up there with great rock drummers like Peart. If you dont understand that, youre not a drummer or no very little about drumming.
If you want to list him with Yoko, first turn off Hee Haw and go listen to A Trick of the Tail
PS: Remember Im know fan of his solo work but Im smart enough to see the whole picture
Most of the "Country Pop" crowd, nobody writes there own songs they simply perform them....and its mostly about looks over talent.
Did you guys know J-Lo's song "Jenny from the Block" had over 20 producers for that crap song!
I never understood how Jimmy Buffet managed to create this HUGE empire when he had 2 songs of mediocre success but he has a huge fan base.
KISS has and will always puzzle me, the are more marketing then music.
The McGarrigle sisters. To me, just like fingernails on a blackboard.
"Marketing" you just said the magic word. And to have 20 producer for "Jenny from the Block" they should be embarresd just to be associated with that twaddle.
Well, Yoko Ono, Britney Spears, and J-Lo definitely are vying for the worst. But here are mine:
Worst group: Rolling Stones (also up for ugliest humans)
Worst single artist: Elvis (also vying for worst actor)
Never understood the attraction of these guys
This list would not be complete without the vocal renderings
(shreddings)of Kris Kristofferson.
Bad and sold the most? Celine. Seems nice but can't listen to her although she makes many people deliriously happy. She just makes me delirious.
11-19-07: Schipo writes:
How about Peter Allen and Liza Minelli? She is in my opinion not even a shadow of her mothers talent.
Separately, or together?
The late Peter Allen wrote some wonderful songs, from "Tenterfield Saddler" (good Oz imagery), "I Still Call Australia Home", "Don't Cry Out Loud" (how can you not love that song?), "I Honestly Love You", "I Go To Rio" and co-wrote "Arthur's Theme". He was a monster on stage, a great performer, with boundless energy and enormous presence. When Australia won the America's Cup, he sang in front of 100,000 people in Perth. They made a show of his life - "The Boy from Oz" - and it was a Broadway success.
Liza has less appeal to me personally, but "Cabaret" was a huge hit movie and Minelli won an Oscar for that show. I just love her performance in that movie and like the soundtrack a lot. "Liza with a Z" was a pretty important TV special, a landmark for performance; and then she had the good fortune to latch onto the Kander-Ebb song "Theme from New York, New York" and made it her signature song (of course, Frank Sinatra usurped it).
Liza has had her ups and downs (as did her mum) and while she lived in her mother's shadow, I think she can hold her head up. She's given quite a lot to the entertainment world.
There are a lot of poseurs being mentioned in this thread - but I claim that Peter Allen and Liza Minelli were fine entertainers and performers.
Seems I ruffled someones feathers about Liza Minelli. I saw her in person her voice just screems loudly and thats it.
Have any of you heard William Shatner sing?
If you haven't, well....don't. If you have, so sorry.
But at least his acting is....uh.....so sorry.
Anyone who pertains to be a 'Jazz' artist especially that no end In sight aimless dross that one can't follow the tune/melody type Jazz to Include traditional artists such as
Buddy Rich, Oscar Peterson*, Benny Goodman, Lional Hampton,
Glen Miller, Johny Dankworth,Louis Armstrong,Duke Ellington,
Dave Brubeck, Miles Davis, Herbie Hancock, Stanley Clark,
Chick Korea,Dave Grusin, Elle Fitzgerald, Cleo Laine, god the list could go on and on.
* take Oscar off the list as I like him coz he plays a Bosendorfer piano.
Ohhhh, I don't know... let's conjur up an old name:
I remember seeing Monty Rock the III on the Tonight Show. I couldn't believe my eyes (which I gouged out with a blunt pencil) or my ears (now in a pickle jar.)
Seems to me that he's performing weddings in Nevada, now, as an ordained minister of bad taste.
BTW I don't think that novelty acts like Tiny Tim or that horrible soprano should be included as they know they are terrible and cultivate it. I think the list should only include those who are "legit" acts but are oh so terrible!
all of you dogging on cap't kirk are crazy. watching him sing "rocket man" at the oscars back in the 70s (i saw it for the first time recently on youtube, and recommed you look it up) and his rendition was one of the highlights of my life. has to be one of the funniest things i ever saw.
OK, I take it back. Yoko it is. But Ashley Simpson and Paris Hilton get (dis) honorable mention.
Amy Winehouse has a substance abuse problem. Stevethe4th: you need to separate her chemical dependency and poor behavior from her ability to sing soul music, of which she has great power. When she's sober she's great. Winehouse will lose her life like so many other artists if she is not careful. But especially in today's talent-depleted world of would-be singers her talent is unmistakable.
J. Lo is a very good actress. Her music doesn't do much for me, but on the screen she's definitely got the skills. Check out "U-Turn" or "Out Of Sight".
Great thread, but seriously... JLo a good actress? Ouch.
Frank Sinatra Jr., Tiny Tom could at least sing in tune.