Wife trouble

Bought Def. Tech. 8040 Towers for living room for my first dive into audio world.  Because I love music, I really enjoy the sound over TV. My wife fell in love with a huge console that spans the length of LR wall and so towers will not work. 8040's are bipolar and need space to breath. What to do?
They are only bi-polar in the top.

Thick cloth cover for the console? :)
Return the wife, keep the speakers.  Problem solved.
What are your room dimensions? An idea of how the room is set up would help to see if there are alternatives.
If there was only a chip that could be implanted in women's heads to make them like Stepford wives, just for audio purposes of course.

(1) You are never going to win that WAF debate, and
(2) your current speakers can be easily replaced with a huge plethora of alternative choices that are both a WAF-approved pair and will not only meet but rather exceed the current set audio performance; 

Just capitulate and cut bait, and just move on to suitable WAF speakers to minimize the entirely avoidable angst in light of a compromise solution ....full stop.
Boy, I'd hate to be a woman on this forum.
You already have the speakers so tell her that they won't work with her console.  Immediately follow that with "of course, I will sell the speakers so you can get the console honey... the speakers we will have to buy instead will be <insert mega-buck speaker here>"

Then take the speakers and move into the garage.
Use another room for audio. Finish your basement that's where I got sent. I did have a WAF approved system in the living room as well, but I was lucky . 
All great ideas. I'm going to see how they sound once they get pushed into a corner. If sound is at least equal I'll stick with them if not, i like what Randy said..."bowers & Wilkins book shelf speakers should work honey".  
My vote is for a basement Man Cave.  I have had mine since 1994, and it works great.  I put all my old gear in the den, so nobody feels bad that I won't show them how to operate my big rig.  I can crank it without disturbing people upstairs, and I get everything in black, so new gear doesn't call attention to itself.  No WAF issues whatsoever.  Plus, if I do get any grief, I just pull up some of her recent credit card bills, and that's the end of that.
Just fix the problem the right way and get a divorce. Shame on you for getting married in the first place.
Joking aside, a lot of women have very little consideration for their husbands interest in audio. It's sad, because if you love a person, you should support their interests as long as they are reasonable and affordable.
Whomever pays the bills gets to make the decisions. Nuff said.

 If your wife is unhappy, you will be unhappy. And if your wife is unhappy long enough, you'll be unhappy with half your stuff..

I have a room in the basement too. We refinished it and my wife told me that my JBL L7s were too ugly for the new space. So I bought a big, beautiful pair of 4' tall rbh floorstanders in a nice maple. She hasn't complained about any of my other gear...

All joking aside, I like being in the basement. I can put up acoustic panels and do weird scheiße that even I wouldn't want to do upstairs. It's nice to have a room optimized for an audio aesthetic, but I prefer my main floor to be optimised for a visual aesthetic.
Stand your ground , if your wife can not(will not) understand your needs do not bend to her tyranny !
I think the biggest problem is that you feel a need to get approval for  your purchases.
She is not your mom.

Separate bank accounts has served both of us extremely well.

Her new shoes makes about as much sense to me as my new DAC makes to her.

I had a bipolar wife!
How do we know you aren't mca's wife pretending to be you to ask this question?

Seriously, I love the replies on threads like this.

There are some good ideas in here. But my question is do you have your own office room that can be your music room? It sounds like you don't. In all honesty, if you are wanting to have FUN with audio, as in buying gear, and playing around with your setup, you need to know that will never happen in a common space, like a living room.
Does your girl friend like them. 

Help us out Wolf.....this is serious

I had a wife that complained once.... 

Truth is ive only been married three years and I was single way too long. Got Married at 41, married a woman with a five year old girl (at the time) and had to make some big changes. Don't regret it at all. Worst day married is better than my best day as a bachelor.  It's tough because I really believe that two become one when married so I really don't subscribe to the separate accounts, (Facebook or bank). Creates distance. But I love these posts. Really do. Tough being an audiophile!  
That's the right perspective!
I bought some Martin Logan Requests. They are maybe 6' tall. On the way home I called and said "I think I made a mistake, they are too big. Maybe we can just use them for a week or two and then put them up for sale." They have been in the living room for about 10 years now. After she heard how fantastic they sound she never said a word about selling them. Moral: If you want the wife to approve make sure they sound better than anything she has ever heard before. When she hears about all my friend's WAF problems, she likes to remind me just how lucky I am.
Spouse likes my hobby, but demands simple functionality.  OK....

Simple system in 'common' living space:  TV, receiver, DVD with CD function, and sat system.  Still too many remotes for her tastes, but got it down to 2 for the most common uses....

Main system in our 'uncommon' shared space (has her exercise bike, sauna, and 'puttering' table) is a whole different story...

Main is Very Complicated, but very adaptable per my desires.  The addition of a 'stand alone' receiver that's tied into it allows for her to play what she desires to watch or hear with a minimum of 'fiddling with switches' makes for martial detente'.

It took awhile to develop this...she's suffered through many systems through 30+ years that joking got referred to as the 'third member of the household'.  Current main system is admittedly beyond anything she's lived with (2 TT, 2 cassettes, CD, Eq, stand alone Xover, 3 switch matrix, 12 channels of amplification, a TV, a sub, and a computer...oh, and a mob of speakers of various sorts) so I was happy to respond to her request for 'something I can just turn on and just be able to listen to music'.

If you love her and would like her to respond to you with the same, be a gentleman and 'do the right thing'.  We all have enough stress in our lives already...your pursuit of audio nirvana should include her if she isn't deaf.  Making it look good and perhaps not so intimidating can be a plus.  Making it simple enough that she could perhaps listen to something that you personally can't stand but 'floats her boat' will almost get you to 'hero status'.

Been there, did that...works for me, might for you. ;)

I don't get it. Traditional floor plans are the problem. Living rooms have become the appendix of the modern house. People love congregating in kitchens! The poor living room stands alone without hope, envious of the popular kitchen. What to do? A great looking audio system is the only real answer! Now the entire house can be happy!

...Now THAT is logic.

You are welcome.

Get a dog

Lock your wife and dog up in separate closets for a day.

Let them both out when you get home

Keep the one that is happy to see you!!


Been married 41 yrs. Wife has always complained about looks and position of equipment, and especially the wires. I used two stereo systems to get 4 channels in the beggining of my theater. One all seperates and the other integrated amp. She hated all the connecting wires in the back of the rack. I gave in and bought an AV receiver and that cut alot of cables out. The sound was not powerful enough though. I made an agreement with her to let me control one room in the house and she could have the entire rest of the house. Now I have a rack 7 feet tall. I went all seperates again with a large 5 channel amp Anthem P5, and two smaller Nikko Alpha 440s two channel amps for the height speakers in an Atmos system. Using Anthem AV60 for pre pro. I have wires all over the floor. Using 4 ADS L1290/2s and a matching self built center channel with similar drivers and crossover. I have two 12 guage extension cords for the P5 and they are running into two seperate rooms. Speaker wires and subwoofer wire on floor also. No rug to hide anything. She hates the mess but after shutting the lights she loves the sound. Remodeling the home now and she doesn't know it yet but I am not running the speaker wire in the walls or ceiling to hide them. CL rated wires not easily upgraded and selection is poor. Just bargain with your wife and give her something to control even everything but get control of the living room.
My LR won't accommodate the equipment tower, just the speakers and TV.
What I had to do was to forego wireless remote control for the audio stuff and run an umbilicus with all the cables, from room-to-room.

If we had a cellar, the cable-snake would have gone down from the stack and back up behind the speakers and TV.
Consideration goes a long way. When you're shopping for vinyl, remember to occasionally pick up titles that your partner likes. Did I buy a copy of the Xanadu soundtrack? Yes. Does my partner complain about my ADS 730s? No. 

I told my (future) wife it was my dream to have an amazing stereo, took her to AXPONA for the day and she could really hear the difference in all the rigs we listened to, she had never heard sound reproduction like that and started to accept that size matters. Then I took her to the Audio Consultants who had a dedicated listening room with the speakers I wanted, Magnepan 20.1’s and played our favorite music. She was in awe how real the sound was and said I could do whatever I wanted. Flash forward 6 years and we are married and I have everything in the living room and she loves it (see my profile, it’s a lot). Friends hear it and tell others you got to see it to believe it. . . She’s proud of how awesome the experience is. Yes I had to spend money on an amazing equipment rack that matches the speakers to make it look nice. Yes I had to get creative and make a lattice of hanging plants in the back so that she had a place for them, but it is all worth it!

I know im still lucky :)
- Steve
Hah I will have to disagree "The worst day married is better than the best day as a bachelor". But a happy spousal unit is an optimal setup.

I will agree that having a dedicated room that you can constantly reconfigure without issue is the hot setup.

There is also some really great technology in small form factors out there that may let you keep the SU happy. B&W CM series or the Quad S-1 comes to mind. I think The Dynaudio C1 Platinum comes in 4 different finishes and they will even build you a custom finish.http://www.dynaudio.com/home-audio/confidence/c1-platinum

I have friend who’s wife comes and hovers over us every time we start to mess with anything in his system. :(
I've been married to the same great and mostly very patient lady for some 43 years. While not quite as exuberant about the audio as me, she has been most tolerant, even helpful with setting up my (our) systems. There were times we had to be a bit innovative to keep esthetics acceptable while setting up and treating for best sound but we managed to make it work. Now she has her tv room in what would be family room adjoining the kitchen and I have my audio room, in what would be living room, adjoining dining room. She helped me pick out some heavy acoustic drapes to use rather than acoustic foam and complained only a bit with the Magnapans out about 4 ft, from the back wall, but likes the sound, so, in all, we're still happy campers.
Best advice is to, if you can, separate your spaces but work together to keep those spaces mutually enjoyable. Best of luck,
You're not alone in this mca7944.  As my 10 year marriage has progressed my system has gotten smaller and more simple.  Don't mistake smaller for less good, however.  I think my system now is as good or better than it's ever been and it couldn't be simpler.  I have a Wyred 4 Sound DAC 2 running direct into a W4S power amp.  The speakers sit atop isoacoustics stands on top of the wife's beloved living room tv cabinet.   I use my laptop as my source running JRiver and Tidal.  Its fun, pretty compact, and tolerable to the wife.  My elementary school daughters can even dial up Taylor Swift on my computer (let the snide remarks fly).  We have dance parties in the living room.  As much as a separate room is endorsed here listening to music everyone enjoys can be as much fun as (or better) than listening to it in isolation in your own space that she's never a part of.  
I couldn't agree with you more about marriage.  I don't miss bachelorhood at all.   My wife is way cooler than my stereo.  
Great post.
Music should be appreciated by all. Your daughters will have a good background in music, as well as good sound reproduction.
Another option: my wife wasn't psyched on big speakers upstairs, hence my listening room downstairs, which gives me more leeway, as mentioned. But upstairs in the open plan kitchen/dining/living area, I've installed a system with 4 small, white speakers in the corners, up against the ceiling and an in wall sub in the back of our breakfast bar. It's inconspicuous, sounds reasonably good and still let's us have family dance parties..

When I'm downstairs listening, my wife and/or kids will often come down and hang. As has been mentioned by others, I've also occasionally bought some vinyl that I knew my wife (Nora Jones) or kids (Lukas Graham, Gorillaz) would love, just to surprise them on those very occasions.

Families can be amazing. And are far more important than any system.
Guess I'm just lucky. Wife has her own 50-pound tube amp in bedroom, with floor standing Audio Physics speakers.
hence no problems with the living room system, which is normally quite un-WAFy.
Man, guys in this post are so incredibly audio savvy. I'm not that good (yet). But I love the kiss approach to audio. I don't have a basement or a man cave so all I have to work with is my living room.  My wife mentioned going to the furniture store to go get that #*%! console but that's cool. I can say I had my starter set and might even upgrade by going smaller like joshelston said. Who knows, Might actually put my def tech.'s on Audiogon soon. Probably better anyway, my five month old is a terror on his walker so don't think towers would last too long anyway. It's kinda fun thinking about how you can change/upgrade (when $ allows for it). I guess it's like they say...it's never a destination it's about the journey. 
My wife loves music as much as I do and comes upstairs to appreciate it -- in my dedicated audio room.
"Worst day married is better than my best day as a bachelor...."
WOW!!!!! LOLOLOLOL. I feel for you buddy...

Must have been a horrible bachelorhood. Lol.
sage advice is:
happy wife, happy life.

so, man cave it is.

yes, i'm divorced. and i doubt i'm getting married again. the stereo takes up the whole damn living room. really, music is life, so i'm just using the living room as intended.

It was a horrible bachelorhood. Kept trying to prove my manhood by dating lots of women...Did a lot of damage and used people. Wish I would have done things differently.  Not all bad though, there were good times but none of it compares with your baby boy sleeping on your chest, teaching your daughter how to catch a softball and changing a spare tire with your wife in record time (10 min.)...call me old fashioned. Btw, I how in the heck do you manually set up the eq on Yamaha receiver?  It's got this weird band, frequency stuff. My center is too low. 
Maybe you can make some tall, DIY acoustic panels like mine, but pull them out when you want to do some listening, pull the speakers out and lean the panels against the entertainment system.  Then when you're done, put the panels away.  That, or mount acoustic panels on stands (DJ or other).  You can also buy ready made acoustic panels with stands. 

You can view my panels in the Virtual Systems page by doing a search under Green Mill North.  My system pops up.  Good luck!
Here's a link to my system:


You can send me a message if you want to know how I made the panels.  


PS -- The panels appear towards the end of the photo gallery.  
@escritorjuan that's a great looking room. The panels look good! I don't know how much they'll help the OP, as his wife has her sights set on an entertainment center that spans the whole front wall. From what I understand, it's like a credenza or sidebar.
Escritor Juan has a killer room. 
Thanks, Todd and MCA.  My thinking was to create a pair of panels like mine that can be stored and pulled out to lean up in front of and against the entertainment center when mca7944 wants to do some listening, then put away when done.  As I recall, my panels are roughly 54" tall.

It's just a thought.