The only time that my girlfriend put her foot down was when i tried to use a pair of Klipsch La Scala's for our HT system. She absolutely hates the size and looks of those specific speakers for some reason. Given that i have electronics ALL over the entire house and she's never really put up much of a fuss, i decided it was better to replace them with something more to her liking than start her on a rampage. Rather than having to look at some 3' tall by 2' wide by 2' deep boxes, i've now got 4.5' tall by 1' wide by 15" deep cabinets in their place. No problems now, although i had to invest in amplifiers that were capable of WAY more power due to the differences in sensitivity. Went from 104 db's down to 87 dB's. Yowza!!! Sean
My wife pretty much runs things in our house...as long as it has nothing to do with my stereo. I explained this to her 21 years and a few houses ago and it has worked out fine.
Course...I'm a sweet old dawg, long as ya leave yer paws off my bone!
my wife's been a sport about the hifi & motorcycles for 20 years & has rarley complained ,unless you count the time i threw out a brand new love seat sofa because it was blocking one of my klipschorns.
oh,she was pretty pissed too when i had to cut holes in the ceiling so my tweeter colums would fit .
Mine let's me do anything I want with the stereo, thank God!!!
I have asked her about some higher dollar purchases and she replied "will you hear a difference?" when I said yes, she told me to buy them! Hell, she even gave me a new power cord for Christmas!
I guess I lucked out!
my wife bought me a pair of Harmonix Golden Performance ICs for my birthday, last year. Is that a love?...I left enough hints..Of course having put a pair of diamond studs on her ears, that year, certainly helped....My wife is great and understanding, but she would never let me go a of Maggie 20.1s: NEVER! Wives, do have their limitations. peace, warren
I have the most accepting and supportive wife in the world! Not only has she always let me play at will with my toys, but she has supported me since my business failed 11 months ago.
This is amazing since she is not only beautiful but her personality lights up the room when she enters. I'm either the luckiest fat man on earth or proof that women are absolutely desperate.
For the record, we currently have Dunlavy Vs in our great room and a couple of weeks ago, she took a day off so we could visit a friend and listen to his line arrays.
My wife accepts it as long as I don't spend any money on it. She accepts my speakers (Thiel 3.6's) but would prefer something much smaller. She hates the vacum tubes on my pre-amp. I also want to get a motorcycle, I have ridden / raced for several years as a kid growing up, but she says no to that. So it sounds like most of you have it good if your wives are that accepting. Mine was fine before I married her; they change.
The key difference here is, "your girlfriend" and not wife. Once married and you settle into a house, wives decorate their house a certain way, or have intentions to, and a set of speakers in the middle of the living room isn't always what they have in mind.
That said, I am in the camp that is blessed with a great wife and gives me a lot of leeway with my stereo, a lot!
Why do the wives have to let any of you do anything?
My wife is very accepting of all the equipment that comes rolling through here. Of course, I often suspect that's because She's cheating on me with the UPS guy. That's okay as long as the equipment keeps rolling in:)
My spouse not only approves, she participates! She isn't as obsessive about audio as I am, but at least we share that common interest.
We listen together frequently. We plan future upgrades together. We discuss equipment, acoustics, tweaks and music in general. Needless to day, I generally get no grief for eyeballing a new piece for the trophy room.
The caveat now becomes which piece? The one she wants or the one I want?
No free lunch I guess...
A very serious girlfriend of 3 years walked out on me and never came back and asked / told me not to contact her again after I purchased about $3,000 worth of Acoustic Science room treatment stuff. Hey, I needed some help moving the ''tubes'' into their correct position.....best of all, it was MY house !!!!This was a situation that a women just did not understand this hobby and best of all, she really wasn't into music..... My friends tried to tell me....so back in the market for a new one. Hey, is there a site for that like Audiogon ?
You guys obviously do not fancy Maggies, or other "ugly room dividers".
You guys are either lucky as hell or lying. My wife has fought most every step of my hifi journey until recently. She finally just gave up. Only because I have a dedicated listening room and she doesn't go in there much. I am able to move things in and out pretty much as I wish now. She knows I spend time and money changing and upgradeing, but she mostly ignores it.
just a quick opinion......when your wife leaves you don't blame the stereo...and when your sound sucks, don't use WAF as your sorry excuse
i have a childhood friend who's wife made him put his rig in the spare beedroom where it sat until i bought it 3 years later.
he also has a brand new harley that he asks permission to ride & 99% of the time she say's no way hose unless she is invited.
oh, i cant forget the paycheck deal,he cashes his check & promptly hands over 100% of it every week & has to ask for small amounts of it back while she spends copious amounts of cash lounging in tanning salons & gettin her nails done.
god i just want to smack him in the head sometimes & tell him to grow a set!
every time i ask him if he wants to get on his bike & go on a run with a few of us im reminded of the sam kinnison bit from years ago.
(husband)honey some of the guys are takin theirs & i wanted to know if i can take mine.
(wife) no way little mister you got work to do.
(husband) i cant go,SHE'S GOT MY DICK!
Colour me lucky - I have a separate room and co-operation/acceptance/approval/permission to do whatever I see fit. My wife on the other hand gets to horseback ride, and travel. We both work "extra" as musicians to help fund some of our respective hobbies, and we both try to be supportive of each others' endeavours.
Though she will shake her head from time to time at the expense, the audio room is usually given prime postion when she shows friends around the house, and everybody who comes here knows about "The Chair" and "The Spot".
Oddly enough my wife became much more appreciative of the sound of the big system when I put ESL speakers into it, and more oddly, so did many of her female friends. I wouldn't go so far as to say panels are a "girl thing", but I have noticed a marked difference in the attention level of woman who listen to music in my system since the arrival of the CLS IIz speakers. Anyone else notice somthing like this?
Even more oddly still, my wife has an excellent ear, yet gets way more use out of the crappy upstairs system. Go figure...
Garebear - maybe you should talk to the webmasters here about starting up "Girliogon"; the dating website for frustrated audiophile girls who are tired of dating guys with Cerwin Vega speakers.
My wife and I have a great agreement. The front wall of the living room which is both audio and video is mine. The garage and backyard are also mine. EVERYTHING else is hers. This also excludes certain male anatomical parts. Unlike some friends of mine, I don't have to ask if I can borrow mine.
Thats not true...although my wife Maggie wasn't always an ugly room divider.
I say who cares!!!!! If she doesn't like what she sees, put her outside in the dog house with Brutus. She'll come around quick enough.
My wife participates in all of our audio choices, and encourages me--the obsessive one--to swap out/upgrade whatever I think is appropriate. This might seem to be a trivial issue until you consider that she is also the primary breadwinner between us. I paint and write full-time, but don't make much money from it. Yet she has no attachment to the money as hers, mine or even ours. We have no debt, and that's really her only concern.
I have not had a day job in four years. It doesn't matter if I don't work for a week, go skiing, or stay up all night writing. She only wants to know that I'm enjoying myself as much as she is. The first book I wrote was about making a spectacular marriage. Guess who inspired me? No, I'm not making this up. And no, she does not have a sister.
It's not that my wife could care less, it's that I could care less what she thinks of my gear. Well, I care a little but not enough to do anything about it.
My only limitations are space, as the stereo does have to share the living room with everything else. As for money, it's don't ask don't tell.
You're not married yet, so it's too soon to judge if you're lucky or not. My girlfriends and mother all loved my gear too. It's different with the wife, because she feels you're spending HER money. Money was never an issue with mom and girlfriends, because my money was my money. When you're married, even keeping seperate accounts, the wife will still feel as though it's HER money. A woman's economical perspective after marriage is: What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine.
Now THIS is a great thread and Esoxhntr.....may the God's look down upon us and give us something like that. You just might have something there my man !!!! I love it...where's Slappy on this one !!!!
She ignores my equipment (but I did get unsolicited comments on my Supratek Syrah & Gallo III's).
She demanded (& received) permission to pick the colors for my dedicated listening room (walls, rug, cloth covers for absorbers).
Anyone who actually puts their stereo over their marriage/significant relationship, has got to have some priorities out of line IMHO. People are as different as their fingerprints and we aren't always as lucky as others to share our greatest passions with our spouses/S.O. My wife was trained as a classical violinist and has her degree in performance. She no longer plays, but her brain is hard-wired to music - if there is something playing her mind will follow the music and it is difficult for her to concentrate on other things. Her mom and sister both play in a symphony orchestra and both have similar sensitivities to music playing. Her mom put it very well once: The worst thing for a musician is having to endure someone elses choice in music at a time you weren't wanting to listen to music at all. I had the same problem as Sean with my LaScalas which I sold because of my wife's objection to their size and 'presence' in our small house. I must admit, they did indeed command the room. I couldn't live without them long and ended up getting another pair which now reside happily in my studio. So I'd have to say that I'm one of the few whiners about WAF. It's really only because this is such a great place to whine as there are so many who will lend an empathetic ear...or sympathetic as far as most of those posting here are concerned (lucky bastards!). In reality, when it comes down to it, it is a non-issue with me as my priority is firmly with my marriage and I will work to make us both happy in that respect. Being a musician she does most certainly appreciate the sound of a good rig. Now if she only like all the same music I do and to listen as frequently as I do (at work I have music playing almost the entire time I'm there).
Oh, and Sogood51 - I let my wife put her paws on my bone any old time she wants! Keeps me happy!
I thought you were talking about me for a second there. Then I realized Hell she won't even let me buy the Harley let alone ask for permission to ride it.
Look at my system post and you will see that used to be a living room! I am very lucky also. My wife smiles and tells everyone that it's the music room now. She's not bothered in the least with the stuff hung on the walls and stuck in the corners..She loves to sit in the "sweet spot" (yes.. she knows about that!) and we like Eva Cassidy on LP.Yet, if she told me today it had to go....it goes! No questions. We both agree however that the next house will indeed have a music room that is on a lower level in the house and not associated with the living area.. hmmmm..I can deal with that!! :)
My wife doesn't give me any grief at all about my equipment. Even the Maggies.
My bosses wife gives him hell every step of the way. She's even ticked at me for buying him a subscription to Stereophile magazine one Christmas and getting him hooked on the hobby. I renew it every year just to get even. :o)
I had a wife approval factor problem shortly after we married. The factor was that I didn't approve of the way my wife was acting...so I divorced her :-)
Wow what a subject. I've read through them all and have
learned the following:
The wive's of the Klipsch guys are by far the most
If she has that hard of a time with your main hobby, what
else is she unhappy about?
Keep your hifi money in a secret place. If they think it
was only ten dollars, then it was ten dollars.
Good luck to all of us,
Screw The wife. Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight, get down tonight.
Nope, mine likes maggies. She recently suggested I upgrade from the four-foot tall mg-0.5/qr to the six-foot tall mg-2.5/r with 3/4 ribbon. The bigger size is not a problem with her. I even have the tube monoblock amps out well into the room with the maggies. all of this is OK. I took her auditioning with me. She immediately noticed the improved treble and bass response of the larger speakers. Plus she knows I'm just itching to tear into the crossovers and get the after market stands.
She sees it this way. She knows where I'll be every night. Either tinkering with the stereo or futzing in the workshop. To her that's more desirable than me out drinking at bars, or strip clubs, or golf. So she's happy. So I come to the marriage with speakers and tubes. And she brought a massive vinyl collection.
Before the maggies I had Acoustats without the grill socks. Those were a bit ugly, IMO. She thought so too. The only real problem she had with those was the sweat spot wasn't really wide enough to two. The acoustats would tightly beam. With the maggies, you can sit next to each other and still get some stereo separation and soundstage for two people. With the 'stats she had to sit between my legs. :-/
We've often surfed Audiogon and AudioAsylum together. She's what I would call a traditional woman. But still _she_ still can't fathom while lots of men here have WAF issues that border on complete decorating control by the woman.
That likely stems from the fact that we decorate our home together. We see our home as a cooperative effort reflecting the desires and the passions of the two of us. If stereos are music are important enough to someone to bother with high-end at all, then it belongs in the home together with everything else important to the two of you. She gets her porcelain dolls and teddy bears. I get to have my stereo rig and computers. The stereo needs to go someplace, and unfortunately for most people this means the main living room. IF this is unacceptable, then she and he need to decide what room (dedicated or not) the audiophile can have were the speakers aren't shoved against the wall. Again, these are her thoughts and mine. It just doesn't seem fair otherwise. It's a cooperative effort. A "house" isn't really the two of you's "home" until you've both added something special to it. Else it's just "her house" that you pay for.
The only exception might be if the significant other was clearly the major bread winner, and clearly wore the pants. Then maybe you wouldn't have a leg to stand on. But fellas, if YOU'RE paying the MORTGAGE, you need to stand up for yourselves. You get to have a least part of the house to reflect your own interests and desires. Whether it's Eldartford's "ugly room dividers" or "horns the size of Buicks" in the living room. She doesn't get 'DA WHOLE HOUSE. That's not reasonable to us.
Aaron and Shannon.
music and film lovers at heart.
Brian: I don't doubt that things change once the transition of girlfriend to wife takes place. My girlfriend and i have lived together for 8 years now and neither one of us feels the need to get married, at least not right now. Somehow, i think that will change shortly though as her best friend is engaged and the ceremony will be in July. Given that both of us will be another year older in that same month, i'm sure that i'll start hearing hints along the way. It will be interesting for me to see how things play out over time. I am willing to compromise in specific areas, although i've not had to do so to any great extent so far. The fact that she has her shoe & purse collection and i have my collection of electronics, both out of our own money that we earn as individuals, has kept us both happy and given the other something to pick on the other about. Like i've always told her though, how much are used shoes and purses worth in comparison to used electronics??? : ) Sean
Accorddude, I had much the same arrangement with my mom when I lived at home a few years ago. Yeah, the WAF thing here is all too really. You mostly see if with the guys here in their 40s and 50s (who not so surprising make up the majority of the posters). I think a lot of those households are used to letting the significant other have their way when it comes to decorating the entire house and dictating budgets and household finances. It's tough to get someone out of that mindset when it's been that way for years from day-one. Yes, it is VERY REAL. Beware.
If you have "ugly" speakers like the Maggies, get your wife/designer/decorator to "prove" how good a designer they are when they put the room together. Everybody is possibly happy in the end.
See "Done for now" -> Good performance price ratio.
Sean, sometimes the only thing that changes once you're married is that you suddenly realize that no matter how long you live, you will NEVER have had enough time with your best friend.
I LOVE BEING SINGLE
Last time i was single i managed to run up about 10k worth of gear
then i had a live-in girlfriend and ran into financial crisis and had to sell off my gear
I remember her telling me that once our financial situation got back on track that i could buy a bigger and better stereo.
Then when the time came, and we had money, her entire attitude changed. "You dont need that stuff, you have a perfectly good $300.00 HTIB setup that does everything yer last stereo did"
OH GOD, SOMEBODY PLEASE SHOOT ME!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!O!!!!!!!!
Welp, slap is back on his own and has been dividing most of his money between remodeling his house and working on the stereo. I have been putting a thousand bucks every other month into the system.
I know damn well that i better get my stereo up to par BEFORE i get another serious relationship.
Just because they SAY you can do something doesent mean they will be willing to let you do so or do it without a fight.
Hats off to those with understanding wives. It must be nice having a wonderful woman you love, AND a hobby you are passionate about that you can actually participate in.
No offence, but if you allow those hideous couches in that room she better not have any issue with those beautiful maggies. (LAUGH)
how much are used shoes and purses worth in comparison to used electronics
More importantly, can you tweak or modd shoes to improve performance???
BTW, things DO change due to the "living together --> married" transition. I went through this: BTW, NINE years of the living-together thingy!
Sean, your time IS APPROACHING, FAST:)!
Marriage enhances that feeling of "belonging" -- eloquently put above, "my things and your things are OUR things now, which means MY things". That can include the rig: it's part of overall marital happiness.
Our house no longer has that creative relaxation environment feel to it (to me that means, records, cd's books, writing materials & and wine glasses, 2-3 pairs of spkrs, wires, x-overs waiting for upgrade for about a year, a mike on a tripod, with wires running to a laptop -- all creatively strewn in an "orderly" fashion all over the place).
Everything is in order now: books are piled up, unused glasses end up in the kitchen and, horror, are promptly washed and stored in CUPBOARDS -- andwe all know that cupboards were designed to hold documentation, LP's and full bottles for future reference &/or use... shall I go on??
OTOH, my ex G-F, now W, doesn't complain about my rig. My rig comprises finished products. She does complain about experimental speakers (i.e. drivers on a panel, in a carton, etc) lying in the room, open amps with wires sticking out, etc). I.e., the "industrial" look ain't for her (anymore).
She can and does complain about the sound now -- remember, "your rig is my rig, now"; she likes a sense of realism (upper end extension) and dynamics and a sense of speed (good phase). Comparative listening as a couple is out: "a device either plays Brahms or it doesn't". The "mmmm, this is slightly better" is gone anymore. This goes for ANY device, regardless of its position in the chain -- even wire. If it sounds OK to her & the asking price is negotiable, don't bother with whatever else is available at the same price in the market, or with modding it to make it sound "better".
Sean -- brace yourself for married life: in fact, you might like it better!Cheers
I thought this wasn't supposed to be a critical website of other folks taste and understanding (or lack thereof.)
Imdoc, you learn something new every day here.
oughtta work on that sence of humor buddy! ;)
Slappy, I hear you! I definitely do NOT enjoy being single (fine for a while but gets old fast!)...however, I do enjoy the freedom it affords.
I've been auditioning and making some major upgrades to my system lately and there have been cables all over the place, boxes, etc. You have to hurdle a bunch of off-the-floor cables to get to the kitchen. My listening room doubles as my home studio control room, so in addition to the hifi rig (which is set up in-line with my studio gear so that I can far-field monitor with it from a secondary sweet spot!), I have a nearfield monitor setup, big ol' mixing console, hulking Mac G5 case with big flatpanel, acoustic treatments all over the place, and a rack full of gear with all kinds of flashing lights, knobs, buttons and gizmos. Open cases strewn about mic and patch cables everywhere, studio mics hanging from spider mounts and so on. A client's drum kit has been sitting, all mic'd up, in the bedroom all week, my futon is being used as an absorptive pad, and I've been crashing on the couch!
There's no way in HELL that I'd get away with this with a GF/W around, even with the artsy/hippie types I tend to go for! ;)
I'll be the first to admit that it looks intimidating to new visitors, though my lady friends all typically agree that glowing tubes are aesthetically pleasing and I get lots of compliments on my new speakers--piano gloss Kharma Ceramique 1.0s! We've taken to lovingly calling them the "midget coffins," hehe ;)
Did you see the film "American Splendor"? If not, I definitely recommend it. There's a great scene in it when the main character first invites a girl to his home. She has traveled hundreds of miles to come see him, and he does not clean up first. Check it out. Great movie!
Congratulations on the new Kharma's.
If you have thin skin, it's going to be tough going for you on the 'gon. We're just a bunch of audiophools having fun. Relax...they just let Slappy out. A little air, after being in a straight jacket for awhile can do crazy things to the brain...
In the end I usually get what I want buy just simply buying it. Something about begging for forgiveness versus asking for permission.
I sneek it in.Got a friend that helps me lie.When she asks is that new,i say no.After al i do buy it used on audiogon.I think they know ,just doesnt say anything
WAF factor is a serious as it gets... so glad Accorddude's Mom like's his speakers. And getting a smooch from the GF is great (of course when your dating so much is easy to do if there might be a ring in sight) but us married people have extreamly serious things to be concerned with in our relationships. Like keeping our spouses saying yes in our quest to acheive sonic nirvana. But we can all take a certain amount of pride doing a good job at tuning our rooms AND our spouses at the same time! It always amazes me how I can come up with a really, really great idea only to find out I the biggest dummy this side of Jupiter for suggesting a plant might move a few feet to the left. Alas... I relish a challenge and keeping my darling feeling loved and cherished is what's important.
I have considered using that method as well, as I have a friend who has on severl occasions suggested it, but have not followed through with it. I guess I would rather face the music so to speak than undermine our relationship. Out of curriosity how do you sneek in things that are obvious like speakers.