Why did I get married?

I love my wife but WTF? Does anyone else have a problem with the old lady constantly whining? The volume has been turned down twice tonight to the point where I need to put a stethascope up to the speaker to hear it. I might have to try one of those herbal vaporizers as posted in another thread. Does anyone know of a legal way to sedate her after 8 PM?
Uh Oh!
That,s a problem that,s easily licked. Try licking the problem from 7 till 8.... then sit back and enjoy the music! Cheers.
This is not looking good..........
This should have been sorted out before you tied the knot.

My wife suggested I should spring for a $3,000 tonearm today....or spend a little more.

Obviously your pre-marriage counseling was incomplete. You failed to take her to a least five audio shows, these always are 'breakins'. Also, you did not take her to at least ten audio shops. Those visits would have proven that you are 'audio weird' and will never settle for listening at anything less then 85db. Headphones have been suggested. These will not work as she will accuse you of ignoring her any time you put them on. Sadly, you have entered into the audio version of Dante's Inferno, the hell part that is. There is no hope, except a quick divorce.
Does anyone else have a problem with the old lady constantly whining?


Maybe your choice of music wasnt what she wanted to hear tonight ?

Do you ever ask her if there is something that she would like to listen to ?
I did the headphone routes. I got a very nice paid and a vCan headphone amp. Know what? I think of the electric bill savings as I can run this without my amp (tubed) being on.

You need your own enclosed room.
Whining yes, whining about my music, no. One of the things my first marriage taught me was what I could and couldn't put up with and what my spouse would need to tolerate. Football and music were 1a and 1b on that latter list. I pretty much knew I was going to marry her when I found out she loved classical music. It was good enough that she was ambivalent to football and worked weekends.
As it is you have your work cut out for you. Negotiate and bribe is about all I've got, unless you can draw her into your music somehow.
Your wife's complaints may be more valid than you think ... but not due to excessive SPL (Loudness)

What may be irritating her is the high frequency ringing that she can hear/perceive and you can't

Women are more sensitive to high frequency noise then men and it may be the high frequency distortion/ringing that she can hear that you can't that is driving her up the wall

"The volume has been turned down twice tonight to the point where I need to put a stethascope up to the speaker to hear it"

This would indicate that it may not be a SPL/Volume issue

"Does anyone else have a problem with the old lady constantly whining? "

My combination of NHT3.3's and 500watt D500 Phase Linear generates 92 to 96db at the listening position with peaks just over 100db and my wife can sit and listen all day long without a peep ... but the minute we turn on either one of our two TV sets which play through the TV's speakers ... the first thing out of her mouth is "Turn that noise down"

It took me awhile to put it together and then it hit me when she kept saying "Turn that noise down" that it wasn't the SPL/Loudness but some noise (high frequency distortion ) that was irritating her

My suggestion is to save the money you would spend on a Marriage Consular and invest it in a quality power conditioner, some vibration control components, and Room Acoustics

Sidenote ...

Unless you two are Die Hard motorcycle enthusiast (Bikers) I would definately refrain from using the phrase "Old Lady" with reference to her ... or else you will by pass the marriage consular phase and go directly to the Divorce lawyer phase

HTH Dave (;-)
It's not about the music. It is about giving her some of your time...
it aint the volume of the music my friend. The problem is that you are not paying attention to her. Get her to sit close to you with your arms around her and she won't care how loud your playing it..
Get a post nuptial agreement ASAP!
I guess we now know who wears the pants in your family !!!!
LOL! No, they never stop whining. If my wife goes an hour w/o some complaint, I run over and check her pulse. Just like I always say "If they ain't b!tching, they ain't breathing". I solved this issue in the listening room by changing my work schedule. Now I work when she's home and she works when I'm home.....why'd it take me 20 years to figure that out????

......go to your girlfriends and listen to music at her place...that will solve the problem
I love my husband but WTF? Does anyone else have a problem with the old man constantly whining? He refuses to wear his hearing aid and then complains when I turn down the stereo to inform him the police are at the door issuing a noise violation. He even mocks me by pretending that he needs a stethoscope on his speakers to hear the music. I might have to try one of those marriage counselors as posted in another thread. Does anyone know of a good one?

The Wife
Let's hear her side of the story. Let her write what she is hearing and post for all to read.
All kidding aside, the tone and attitude displayed in your original post indicates some problems of respect for your wife. I don't know any men in my circle who speak of their wives in such a manner, even jokingly.
maybe she doesn't like what you are listening to..
I solved that problem by having 2 high end systems on 2 different floors of our house. While my living room system is my favorite, for those times when wifey wants to watch tv or read, I retreat to my man cave upstairs where I can listen to my secondary system which sounds excellent and surf the net at the same time. Problem solved.
They will always accuse you of loving your rig more than them.
They're right. I do love my system more. I guess the answer is arsenic.
I am a firm believer that "marital bliss" begins afetr the divorce settlement. Or you can join the new organization that addresses this issue MTD "marry the deaf". Another suggestion is make her mad one or two nights a weeks and send her to her mothers....
Tvad: Please don't tell me in your circle you hang out with the Duck of Yorkshire or maybe the Earl of Buckingham.Please this is all done in complete levity and nothing more. You should hear what wife's and girlfriends say about their respected other it would make sailor's blush and truck drivers turn white....
"Does anyone know of a legal way to sedate her after 8 PM?"

Audiogon should not have posted this thread.
Wow Tvad after your thought on this matter you would think Jr would yank this thread of his. You not only know about audio but most importantly you know about charactor.

The music always sounds better when there is peace and respect in the home.

My wife last night asked if I would play something different than Rock/Jazz so I put on some Perry Como and that was to her liking. It even sounded great on my system.

Learn a womens 5 needs and enjoy the music.
02-07-10: Schipo
Tvad: Please don't tell me in your circle you hang out with the Duck of Yorkshire ...
Nope. No ducks in my circle.
legal way to sedate her after 8 PM..simple red wine and a a turkey sandwish..sedate doesn't always mean you are going to wind up on the forensic file channel.
You guys are funny. Everyone is enthusistic about cracking out jokes. I play louder when my wife and kid are not home. So you need to know her schedule. For me, grocery shopping is my golden time for listening. Oh, whenever she wants to go to my mother-in-law place, I try to come up with excuse of not going because that will be serious listening time again. Remember to check her schedule real time if possible.
I agree with Tvad and Glory.
The problem isn't the music.
Here's the funny thing. She's seen the Grateful Dead 125 times. Maybe she's just musiced out.
She loves the music. It's usually somthing like a head ache or she's tired because I kept her up with my snoring. Maybe I'm the one whining?
I am inexpert in the reasons people get (and stay!) married, but I agree with the posts above suggesting that the strain over music is likely proxy for the other issues. Maybe a discussion of music habits could lead into other needed discussion. Meantime, if she's seen the Dead 125 times, maybe you can buy her some of the live sets getting put out on Rhino. Some sound pretty good -- I'm currently enjoying Hartford 77 -- and might make for musical olive branches you both enjoy. :) Best of luck!!! :)
If I refereed to my wife as old lady,things could get a lot worse.She never was into sounds,but she listens with me in the stereo/tv room.I got a concert block on my floor.Of coarse I quit spending money there was an improvement .I,ve been blessed.Good Luck
Nothing's wrong with whining, every now and then. But if your wife saw this thread, how would she react?
Put your jacket on and tell her you are going to a bar. Suddenly, she may "enjoy the music".
Mutual respect. Give and take. Some days you have to go with the flow. My wife and I are best friends. If she asked me to get rid of my system, I'd do it. Our relationship is worth a hellova lot more than twentyfive grand of electronics. So turning it off on occasion is no big deal.
There are about 10 guys in my audio group. Half of them are lucky in that they have a room to themselves- a man cave, where we can listen to music with our friends, or alone, and the wives usually leave us in peace. We can turn it up and listen to what we want.
So, try to take over a room to have to yourself and let her have the rest of the house. She's got it anyway, so you win.
I realize this is not an option for everyone, but it is truly the best one unless you have a wife who is also passionate about the music.
I like the idea of putting your jacket on and say you're going to the bar, but that might lead to divorce and after paying your attorney you won't have any money for your stereo hobby anyway.
It has been my experience women have better hearing than men and women can hear higher frequencies than men do. Maybe there is something about your system that isn't allowing your wife to enjoy music the way you do. Ask her what she thinks of the sound. I am sure you will get an honest answer and she will probably be right.
My wife (married 34 years) doesn't mind very loud music (NO, you cannot have her - she's mine) but have some issues with certain music I listen to (contemporary/modern, Indian Classical, progressive jazz etc.). I try to avoid music that makes her nervous (I play it when alone).
Q: Why do men die before their wives? A: They want to!

Bad answer.

It's refreshing to read the mature and loving husbands (buck280 response)that have love/respect for their wives.

Jr in minor key.
I agree with Tvad, Glory, and 280. Also with the suggestions of headphones. I usually listen with speakers either with my wife or when she is not at home. If my listening would interfere with something else she is doing, I use headphones (Stax electrostatics, which I invested in particularly for that purpose).

Does that mean that I end up listening via speakers less often than I would ideally like to? Certainly, but I'm cool with that.

-- Al

(Happily married 39 years)
Glory- My condolences on the loss of your sense of humor.
"Happily married 39 years" - translation for younger folks: "Happily" means 39 years in one marriage. Without "happily" it would be just a sum of marriages.
This thread crackes me up. My wife told me to turn it up the other night. She loves Martha Davis & The Motels. Cranked the pi** outa it. It was awsome.
She always tells people, "Been married 24 years. Best 18 years of my life."
I was married for 18 years ....Ten of them were pretty damn good...Not in a row. She loved music but those were my too poor to have anything nice days. She did blow the woofers in my B&W speakers twice! Ahh the memories.....
"Been married 24 years. Best 18 years of my life."
Jsd52756 (Threads | Answers)
John, your post warmed my heart. What a great quote from your wife...anchored with truth but infused with love.

I ask myself that same question from time to time. It always comes down to this, I would be lost and broke without her. I would not have the system I have without her.
Hevac1, so u married her for financial support? So if the money stop flowing would u be gone in a heartbeat?