What are the most outrageous speakers reviews you have ever seen?

A serious disclaimer before starting this lighter thread...

I feel sorry for the professional reviewers, who need to walk *the* fine line when publishing his $0.02 (you know what I meant).  However, any individual could comment freely with flying colors.  

Please let me start KEF Blade, which is not Prime eligible:

(from that site's reviewers)
1) 5 Stars: It's a good thing that the speaker cabinet is ported, because at 34K I'm never going to be able to afford a girlfriend!
2) 5 Stars: So instead of paying for college i chose these. Greatest decision of my life. Who needs a future when you have a pair of speakers.
3) 5 stars: These speakers are great. I just picked them up yesterday and they sound amazing! It was so worth getting evicted out of my house just for these! Who needs a car or house, I would just get these! 10/10 would buy again.

What are the most outrageous ones you have seen in public?


-- Hey honey I've just got Avalon speakers for $500!

-- But I saw your bank balance you've recently spent $19k!

-- Don't worry honey I'm still awaiting change!

Lol. I really have to laugh when you see car speaker whizzer cones on "high-end" speakers. Even modern Harnon Kardon, Mark Levinson and other top car audio systems don't use whizzer cones but in the world of audiophiles - slap the cheapest thing into a brightly painted or veneered box and you are off to the races!!!! 
My personal review of Martin Logan speakers:

1. Panels have electrostatic charge of nearly 4kV during playback so possibly after 12 hours of listening Bach CD box set, you don't have to make love to your wife anymore and so you don't have to worry about tipping her either.
Do not care about reviews as its my money and my ears.Good luck though.
Nothing to feel sorry about. Most audio reviews aren't worth more than a passing glance. Glorified advertisements.

Sometimes the reviewers will reveal the flaws of the previous model only when the new one is released. Think Magico.

I still remember the review of the top of the line Raidho in TAS. The world's best speaker, as long as you stuff a sock in the port.
All of them? *L*  When you get comments like that, it does point out a perspective that does bare some contemplation....;)
Review of Tekton DI. Not thinking good or bad....Just saying....
Review of Tekton DI. Not thinking good or bad....Just saying....
Go to YouTube and type in Z Reviews. The guy is a bit of a nut but it's entertaining to watch him review speakers. 
...some reviewers seem to have access to 'biological sonic enhancements' that I don't, and that's really irritating to me...
You must be more left brained. Reviewers hang out on the right side. 
I don't know as if it is so much outrageous as annoying . . . but reviewers tread a thin line between telling the truth and diplomacy (political correctness) in order to keep their sources of livelihood alive, which can be often times thwarted by lack of support or followers that justify their jobs in the first place. Therefore, the mannerisms, the rear end kissing, and the contortions some will enact throughout these audio shows are outrageous and sometimes painful to watch.

What the sellers and reviewers must endure in order to get into the spotlight must be excruciatingly painful and for some -- exhausting . . . I know just watching and reading what we are exposed to is sometimes a bad joke with some reviewers bordering on poor credibility not to mention -- repulsive, but once in a while -- honesty and truth do prevail.

However, since many of us cannot just hop on a plane or in our car and afford the luxury of seeing all these “wonders” in person, instead, we must wade through some of the hype and deal with the personalities, etc. in order to keep on the “cutting edge”, whether we can afford the latest million dollar system . . . or not. Sometimes we endure the clowns in order to see the main attractions, and after all, some do try.