Metaphysics. No, she will not be invited to my party. The biases of this reporter must be revealed, so in an effort to shine the brilliant white light of truth on this subject, I will reveal here FOR THE FIRST TIME, the excesses of this Washington Post reporter.
To date, she has spent over $11,210.00 for drinks at a local bar frequented by DC writers and reporters.
In addition, there was another $23,000 for plastic surgery, $6,172.00 for a complete cap job for her teeth, and another $2,150.00 for her assertive training classes. Add all these figures to the cost of her Bose system and 275 pair of shoes, and you get a clear picture of what her priorities are. These excesses add up to more than $55,450.00.
I realize this will not buy the absolute ultimate audio system, but if she had chosen to invest in audiophilia, she would have been home, instead of the bar.
THE RESULTS BEING:
All the calories she would have avoided by dancing around her stereo, instead of consuming the drinks, would have kept her physically fit, avoiding the plastic surgery. Her teeth were in fact ruined by her excessive drinking, so the dentist bills would have been unnecessary as well. The assertive training unnecessary. Absolutely energized by her great sounding stereo, and simultaneously removing the depressive Bose system. The change in her attitude would have even allowed her to find that perfect mate she had always longed for!
So close was she to discovering that the old man with the expensive system was right. The smile on his face was from a deeper understanding of the music. So close was she to removing the band aids on her life, replaced with something of real meaning, a happy home with wonderful music, sharing with the one you love, buying shoes because you NEED them, wine in moderation and not having to sit for weeks in the dentist chair.
To date, she has spent over $11,210.00 for drinks at a local bar frequented by DC writers and reporters.
In addition, there was another $23,000 for plastic surgery, $6,172.00 for a complete cap job for her teeth, and another $2,150.00 for her assertive training classes. Add all these figures to the cost of her Bose system and 275 pair of shoes, and you get a clear picture of what her priorities are. These excesses add up to more than $55,450.00.
I realize this will not buy the absolute ultimate audio system, but if she had chosen to invest in audiophilia, she would have been home, instead of the bar.
THE RESULTS BEING:
All the calories she would have avoided by dancing around her stereo, instead of consuming the drinks, would have kept her physically fit, avoiding the plastic surgery. Her teeth were in fact ruined by her excessive drinking, so the dentist bills would have been unnecessary as well. The assertive training unnecessary. Absolutely energized by her great sounding stereo, and simultaneously removing the depressive Bose system. The change in her attitude would have even allowed her to find that perfect mate she had always longed for!
So close was she to discovering that the old man with the expensive system was right. The smile on his face was from a deeper understanding of the music. So close was she to removing the band aids on her life, replaced with something of real meaning, a happy home with wonderful music, sharing with the one you love, buying shoes because you NEED them, wine in moderation and not having to sit for weeks in the dentist chair.