WAF - Wife Acceptance Factor


Much has been written in these threads about the dreaded WAF, or wife acceptance factor. It usually entails making a compromise, or not getting that perfect speaker, or amp, or ... Well you get the picture.

But tell the truth guys. Haven't there been times when wifey actually helped?

In my case, I casually mentioned to my wife that the picture quality of my front projector would be much improved if I could better cotrol the light in the den. So what did she do?

She put up nice thick curtains. It not only blocks the light and makes the den like a cave, it also improves the diffuse surround sound field with the absorptive material. What a gal!

Would love to hear your stories. :o)
kinsekd
My wife has more fun grinding on my speaker's woofers while I'm cranking "In A Gadda Da Vida" than she does riding the laundry machine.....even during an unbalanced load.......haha

Cheers,
John
I am always the King!...and no need of asking her if i need this! i need that!...but a King always need a Queen!

*********WE ALWAYS HAVE FUN LISTENING TOGETHER!*********
My wife threw me out years ago for buying audio equipment.
I rather have bought phono cartridges, than diapers.
Now I have everthing I want.
No wife, and a room full of audio!
Sooooooo… a few days ago me and the wife of 40+++ years are watching TV and out from nowhere she says… “27”. I politely responded with a… “What(?)”. She says… “27”. I politely responded with another… “What(?)” She responded with a short and sweet… “your stereo”. I responded with another… “What(?)“, and a little louder this time she says… “27”. I politely said something along the line of “help me out here… what are you saying”. She said “you’ve got 27 pieces of stereo equipment in this room”. I looked at my system and stared counting… amp, pre-pro, CD, and 2 speakers = (help me out here)… 5… and proudly announced my findings… and she says… “that’s what I mean… you’re out of control”. I politely said “What(?)”… … … and she starts counting everything down to the cable lifters, speaker stands, interconnects, power cables, and on and on and on. I looked at her and said… “What(?)”.


My wife accepts no serious audio equipment and it can be the prettiest eye candy gear on earth after years of my accumulating the stuff. Her thumb at my nose is insisting on acting like a cool kid by using in ear devices and own not one but two iPods not fake ones either. She knows that this hobby has been part of me since birth. My late Father was a serious audiophile during his brief life and I always kept his JBLs and use the Sherwood s5000II int. amp-thats the 7868 version. His TT is long gone I don't even know what is was. The big mid 60s SONY reel to reel was always half broken and no one not even him really got used to it's finicky behavior but we liked the sound if it worked. I think that met up with a trash can fast.
Back to WAF
My wife is a or was a very good violinist. In fact she was considered a child prodigy. Indeed even got on a couple of pieces of vinyl.
She lived as a musician, music camp, music friends, music for gig money, a street quartet outside Avery Fisher on weekends that nearly netted a weeks pay at her real job even though divided by 4.. Don't be stingy but don't feel all that bad either for these starving artists. She made a tidy sum doing that.
She knew even though she played in the college orchestra (Yale no less) and was praised, that she was good, not great. So she went to be an actuary Teaching disinterested kids and the other small jobs that keep regular musicians alive was not a life she envied.
None the less she really loves music even taught me to appreciate classical music. Before we became victims of this financial problem we had season tickets to the Philadelphia Symphony Orch. A series you know what I mean.
She also had a passion for the live overwrought dramatic dance music of the New York subculture Club scene in the early 80s. She would get there when I went to bed. I never went with her at midnight when these after hours clubs started to open. Honest they were still dancing at 9AM when she would go home and sleep.

She liked playing my old Kenwood amp real loud after getting drunk when we were younger and liked getting inebriate. Then the amp gave up its last measure of devotion around 2000 after 25 years of loyal service . I said "honey I need to go out and buy a new amp". When I innocently started to look for the local stereo stores I couldn't find the listings or ads nothing. Not a single place. I was utterly Confused wTF happened. I asked a bunch of people where they got theirs and the answers were odd little shops by appointment? What an appointment whatever for?
My good fortune working with a great student who just happens to be a AGon member and he told me that everything I wanted was now called "Hi End." OY!
I spent months studying which amps to try should I go for a modern tube amp while my heart was firmly planted in 1977. which was the more power means better and SS amps had power
.
I dragged my wife out to an evening appt at Quest for sound which is not even that local but one of the few places that even permitted me to audition the goods.
She was deeply annoyed that I became preoccupied with looking for equipment. I told her that I wanted her opinion because of her experience and ear for "correct" tone etc.
I asked her yes? no? what do you think tell me come on please. She liked the small footprint maple veneered VR2s which was when nothing else mattered to her great musician an ear, my eye, my wife, now WAF meant something very real.BTW that veneer is still very beautiful and has not self destructed a good job before ah they were outsourced to...the demos were slightly darker than the NIB pair we own. Mr. Monte had set up these WAF speakers with a 40wpc pp tube integrated and a ridiculous CD player that would take only one CD at a time but sounded great to me a CD-25 by Music Hall, with a list price over $400 an unheard of amount to us. She got more and more annoyed with every comparisdon and almost screamed at me "just buy it" buy what I asked that whole thing she said and be done with it I am sick of this. But she did make a pint of insisting on a pair of those VR2s.
I still have every component I bought that night and incredibly all of it works even the CDP works great but is a 3rd or fourth stringer.
She became permanently annoyed with my fascination with Audio and built or shall I say furnished the basement for the next rig I bought .
The WAF system has a different CDP a Jadis DA 60 which is much more eye candy but she hates the class A heat which you feel only when within a foot or so but it is hot class A and tubes get hot I remind her that she should avoid grasping the tubes when it is on and that it uses lethal voltage so really try not to stick anything in it not you or anything else. She never seems tempted. further WAF A hardly ever used MMF-5 TT all sorts of tweaky cabling. I never told her when I made cable chamges. A restored early Sherwood tube tuner Circa 1961 it's stereo. A sansui TU 717 for decoration.
The once fun lving dearest has become a very sober and mature pooh and will rarely play something and then at maybe a whopping 70db.
Now anything audio is evil and just takes up space. The little amp is in the living room where the WAF is but in a box.
How about HCF? Husband Consideration Factor? Seems to me that where there is high WAF there is typically an attendant high HCF.

I am the boss in my home can get ANYTHING STEREO at any time!!Its good to be the king!!
Due to an accident a few years ago my wife lost total hearing in her left ear. I had a chance to obtain some Vandersteens locally at a very reasonable price...but she also wanted to update the washer/dryer. We could only do one or the other...she actually talked me into the speakers even though I know she cannot fully enjoy them.

I wonder how the hint of a new amp will go over since we still have not bought the appliances!! :)
So bigger is better for WAF, in some cases or is she compensating for a small TV?
I send my wife to Europe to visit her family every year, while I stay here and work, she gets a beautiful vacation..... last summer , she came back to find my new 6' tall horns in the living room, along with some new tube gear. I think she complained once..... once. Long story short, she was stunned when we listened to some pipe organ the other night, and she is constantly listening to them , and even spinning vinyl!!! We'll see how she feels when I inform her that I'm taking a vacation this year ... in Cuba. Ahhh... horns, vinyl, tubes, and cigars..... what's not to like??
If I want to purchase a piece of equipment, I have to figure on the cost being twice the actual amount, since she will usually find something she wants that is very close the amount I want to spend. That's fine with me.
I told my loving wife I wanted a sound system and the only place for it was in the living room. SO, Her response was, if I was going to take over the living room then she was going to have the bedroom, study, and kitchen. Since then she has been having uninterrupted sleeps since I am now cuddling my system.
I always ask the question prior to buying something (out of courtesy), 'do you mind If I buy such and such piece of equipment', I always get the same answer 'if we can afford it', I always reply 'of course we can dear'.Then I ask her for a check to buy said item.
Seems like a good arrangement to me.
My wife is so cool for my last birthday she bought me a 300 LP rack for my MAN room. But if she ever catches me watching Howard TV I may be sleeping in the garage.
Redwoodgarden
You will like thisone.
My wife told me I could have a lot of items but never A recliner. She feels any man who sits in a recliner becomes useless, so no recliner. So agreeing with my wife I said okay I will not get A recliner. When setting up my HT/Music room for seating I desided on 3 powered recliners and had them delivered. Low and behold as they were being assembled the wife comes home and says I thought we agreed you could not buy A recliner. I looked at my wife and said yes we agreed I would not buy A recliner so I purchased 3 recliners not one. She looked at me with those loving eyes an said okay you got me by getting 3 of them but you will pay. Also who did I find sleeping in the new recliners tbe next day mid afternoon but the wife, talk about useless when in a recliner.
George,

His wife brings in the bacon so he can stay at home, raise the kids (something he absolutely adores doing) and practice his drumming. While what his wife did to him was rather cold hearted, I don't think he really wants to change his domestic situation.
Decibelcat
You know,I feel sorry for your friend!His wife is rather smart but if it was me I would of told her to park it.None of her business,if the gear is paid off,not stolen,not aquired by means of crime,all bills are paid on time and nobody goes hungry in the household,keep a job and bring money home and all members are dressed and under a roof ,you know, then I believe I got the right to have a hobby that gives me pleasure.
Sorry for venting ,my opinion.
George
Our W/P 8's speakers and mono amps our in our living room. My WAF was great until I bought the Lamm 2.1's which she tolerates but thinks they are ugly (I agree). She campaigning for some better looking amps. I'll go for that once I found something better than the Lamm 2.1's. She totally backs that approach -so it's a minor compromise between us.
I have a musician friend who is an electronic drummer. His wife hates having the gear in the house and she resents the investment he has made in it.
One day, while he was practicing, she came in, pointed directly at a piece of gear he had recently installed in his rack and asked annoyingly "What's that?"
He said quietly "Oh, I've had that for years. It's always been there."
She replied "Wait here" and went upstairs. A minute later she returned with her digital camera, saying "Where is it in this picture?", and demanded that my friend find the piece of gear in question in the photo she had taken of his rack only a month previously.

As a single guy, I have to mention that when I have had women over to visit, they have always inquired about the acoustical treatment attached to the walls, the stack of big mono block amps and the huge speakers in the living room. Fortunately, most of them came to instantly appreciate what it was all about after I played some music they liked over my stereo and they said they understood why I had all that "unsightly" stuff in my house. As for those who didn't...
I had this idea, I was trying to convince the wife that our life would be oh so much more fullfilling if we bought a 2 channel system. Of course she does not see the value as our home theatre system, frankly sounds pretty darn good for two channel audio...but you know how it is, I want a dedicated system for the living room and keep the theatre in the basement.

So I thought that to convice her, I would take her to see one of the internationally acclaimed R&B guys that come to town (Albert Collins) who played in a nice smokey bar downtown. I buy the CD and play it for her at home, and she will be convinced that our sound sucks! and we need a proper two channel set up.

So I did it, she said "Well, it certainly sounded so much better when he was playing 10 feet from us, then this CD sounds"

Yeah thats the drag about our system, its really meant for movies...

Well maybe we should check out a system for upstairs then... WOOO HOOOO I thought

After listening to some systems in the 2K to 5K range, she said to the salesman "you know something, this sounds really good, but nothing like the energy and enveloping sound at the live gig we went to.

the bugger says to her, look to get that kind of sound at home you will have to spend considerably more than 5 grand...thats when she shut down

'Well it sounds almost as good, I start to whine" No, no, no she said that was very special that sound at the bar, we laughed, we danced, it was like we where dating again, I had so much fun, we absolutely have to go out more often.

DRAT! Anyways, anybody else try a ploy like this with success?

Failed for me, I have turned into quite a house mouse since marrage and really do not like going out anymore, especially since we moved from downtown to suburban hell
If your wife's first name starts with C, you may be a very lucky guy because she is currently shopping for some serious hi-end gear for you and you do not know it. You also do not know how much she is about to fork out to buy some of my gear not listed here but hey, it is HER money (kind of. Lucky you!
Audiobroke, I can see from your system pics that you have big balls my friend. Congrats on a lesson well learned, before it was too late.
I had a girlfriend. I bought a new preamp, and some cables for my system, which she didn't seem to approve of. Then when I sold my speakers, she said "you're probably just going to buy more audio equipment now!", with disdain. Of course if I didn't get new speakers, it wouldn't be a stereo. You can't just listen to components! So, the $12,000 ring I was making payments on went back, and now I don't have a girlfriend. But the good news is, with the money I got back, I got a massage chair and a new amplifier!! Whew, that was close.
Timrhu. You obviously don't know my wife.
I am starting to get a feeling that I married CIA agent.
I also suspect that a GPS chip was implanted in my @#&.
Lately I started doing my laundry at work. At least proof of transactions are destroyed if I forget to check my pockets. So if you see one of my stuff on auction or for sale - don't ask me for receipt. One thing I learn really good is how to laundry money.
Cheers
Hi
Here's my two cents, I'm working in Alaska,out of town.
I have been into hifi for 10 years now,much to the mockery of my wife, at times...
" OH, looking at stereo stuff again on EBay"
Well, today she called me, and commented on the stereo, this never happens in the positive mind you.
BUT!, this time she said to me, she took a CD out of her car and put a CD in the home stereo and was floored with the sound
"I heard things I never heard in these recordings before!"
" I must say it sounds wonderful"
Well do you know what gear prompted this comment from a woman who could give a @#*! about sound gear?
Accuphase....
I love Accuphase equipment.
Cheers,Mcgarick from Seattle.
Yioryos, I never left and it is fairly obvious where I hide :)
No kids involved, not anyone that are mine anyway.
Mrjstark, that's why I find paypal so great. My wife has no idea how much $$ is in that account.
My wife's only contribution to my system was turning 4 phase bass traps in to a display pedestal for family pictures.
My biggest problem with my wife is a fact that she works in the same bank where we keep our money and she could easily pass FBI's forensic officer tests since I can't hide anything from her. The only thing she can't find is my remote control.
Cheers.
Beheme...Providing there are no children involved, you are the luckiest man alive.
Mine helped a lot the day she left. With what I saved between what she used to drink and smoke, I paid my Avalon Ceramic cash in less than a year. And that does not count the avoided upcoming health bills, a whole new audio world opens up to me.
Viridian
I'm bald and this is why.

1. I'm alot smarter and my brain need the room so the hair had to go.
2. I make U-turns under the sheets with the misses so the hair got worn off via the friction from differant sources.
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Viridian, It's great to see a 'Goner with a sense of humor. By the way, I'm 63 with no bald spots or even thinning hair. I guess I'm one of the fortunate few. Never the less, I have to admire you for your creativity. As they say, toshay!
Hmmm....Next time you get grief....Suggest she cut the...'issues'

No woman in the world will trade her captive audience on her issues, for anything.
"Wife" is the key operative - acceptance factor in all areas is multiplied by a huge factor once you become married...and it ain't a positiive factor either! I reckon each kid adds a significant multiplier too!!
I have another one for this thread.
My wife said I could never get a recliner. She feels that ALL MEN are worthless when they sit in one. So trying my luck as usual, I bought 3 powered recliners. The wife came home and there they were in the HT and the couch was gone to my son’s house. She says to me, I thought we agreed no recliner. I wanted to say WE never agreed to that but that is just asking for trouble. So I said, we never said I could not get three of them just not one. She agreed and I kept the recliners. By the way I also find her sitting in them a lot, reading and may someday ask if her if WOMAN become useless in them also after I wake her up from sleeping in it. Maybe. LOL.
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I love La-Z-Boy recliners; my wife hates La-Z-Boy recliners, but loves soft safas.
I love sitting close to the big screen TV and stereo; my wife hates sitting close to the big screen TV and stereo, but loves elevated seating.

Solutiion: Stadium Seating. My La-Z-Boy recliner sits on the floor ten feet from the stereo and TV while my wife's soft sofa is elevated on a platform behind the recliner. Harmony at last!
its simple...all married women love music...and all married women hate hi end.
This is a very interesting thread, I just noticed!
The facts first:
My system when I was married: Pro-Ac Responce2.5, Meridian 508, Cary SLI 80. Stereovox cables.
My system post divorce: Kharma CRM 3.2, CRM Sub, Tenor 75 OTL, Wavac PR-T1, Metronome CD3, Finite stand, more Stereovox, Kharma Enigma, NBS Black Label, double size CD collection etc...
This is the sad fact.
The philosophical point re above.
Every human will develop some kind of immune reaction to various things. Say, if you always would go with your wife for shopping, and will stuck in female underware store for few hours, you will get bored sooner or later.
At one stage you will refuse to go. You will get bored by watching many brands of different bra's, and it wont matter which one looks better in the end.
Wife may get bored standing by, and watching you picking CD's for hours etc...
My tip from above. Do not bore your wife with hi-fi. Do not become Hi-Fi freak. Choose the right components. Wait, but buy not in the sake of bargain or opportunity. You can not talk about upgrading as soon as you just upgraded. You may get anaphylactic reaction back.
My definition of WAF.
We all do have our interests. The marriage require mutuality, preservation of individuality, and mutual respect.
If you do want to throw the last grand on hi-fi, your wife may be right. There are more important things. WAF apply if there are ALWAYS more important things than your hobby despite the funds.
Than there is something wrong with the marriage?
Conclusion.
In my opinion WAF does not exist. There are things we can/can not afford. There are priorities. We all know that.
Interests of all members of the family need to be equally accepted and ignored. This is when things do work.
Regalma1,

Don't kid yourself... my wife is fully accomadating for ANY audio gear I want.... I am sure I am not the only one, but I do have a great wife! Just for a sample of my life with her.... I wanted to buy a Meridian 861v4.... she asked me if I would hear a difference, which I said yes to. She told me I should buy it. That's a woman!

KT
I love the WAF. Being single I can take advantage of all the good gear that ends up on the used market when guys get married and have to switch to HT setups with little, tiny speakers.