Vindication at Last!


Golden-eared audiophiles world-wide are rejoicing over a study published today that finally vindicates their insistence that digital audio is simply unlistenable.

After a lengthy and extensive investigation lasting nearly five years, the New Yorke Times is reporting that in an effort to reduce costs, most well-known recording labels have for years been purchasing counterfeit zeros and ones from disreputable suppliers in countries such as China, North Korea and Kazahkstan. Often disguised as Bitcoin mining operations, it has come to light that the true purpose of these clandestine facilities is to pump out prodigious quantities of cheap, substandard binary digits.

In some cases, as many as 67.3% of these digits were out of spec, sometimes deviating by as much as 17.1 - 31.7% from accepted values. Examination of the digits using scanning tunneling electron microscopy revealed zeros that were out of round, ones with wavy edges, and an abundance of general fuzziness incompatible with industry standards.

Enterprising audio firms have already jumped into the fray to offer reference-quality digits (in some cases cryogenically treated) for as little as $1 per megabyte, which means that the average CD can be restored to pristine quality for around $500—a small price to pay for excellent sound.

Reached for comment, one highly placed record industry executive refused to discuss the matter, remarking that today might not be an appropriate date to debate such a highly charged issue.
rel
I rate that article a zero!  ;) 
The New York Times is fake news. With them every day is April Fool's Day. And the joke's on you.
rel
Interesting read- I do not care for a computer-based Audio set up. I am a physical medium (CD and SACD discs) guy.  Happy Listening!
Reading comprehension not a strong suit I see.
Post removed 
Ha, sounds almost as nutty as the magic magnetic mats which aren't  an April fools joke. 
April Fools boys and girls!
And only the other day I asked a work colleague if April Fools Day was big here in the USA to which he replied no.

Nice one.

April Fools Day was huge in England.

Everybody was into it.

Do not remember if it was Melody Maker or New Musical Express or some such weekly music paper but they printed a classic.

They printed that Alice Cooper had been killed on stage at the end of his act when his guillotine stunt went wrong.

I mean seriously they put it in print on April 1st!

And yes I was maybe 14 and I swallowed it hook, line and sinker!
Apparently someone thought better of their post. Or it was removed by a mod? (And if so it wasn't me!) Or maybe the whole thing was just another April Fool's joke. Hard to tell. Ha ha. Joke's on you.
Just not funny at all.
Who let the crazies post today?
Jeez lighten up guys, you would not have survived in England for 5 minutes on any April 1st morning ( technically all your "fools" had to be done before 12).

Maybe my colleague was right after all and April Fools is just not a "thing" here in the USA.
New York Times and not New Yorke Times 
Gee whillikers guys! Maybe it was a joke. I hate explaining jokes. 
uberwaltz:  a friend who spent some time in England informed me of the "before noon" rule you folks adhere to (something I had never heard of here in the States).  I was therefore immensely relieved to note that my post was made at 11:58 AM local time!

dsper:  good catch!  Was wondering if anyone would notice.  The New Yorke Times is, of course, only published on April 1st.  The New York Times, on the other hand, would have nothing to do with such arrant nonsense.

roxy54:  please be sure to first check with your health care provider, but you might consider a trial course of Carter's Little Liver Pills.  They are your friend--and with friends like that you don't need enemas!
Undoubtedly, many, if not all, of those cheap, out-of-spec digits were supplied by Lirpa Uno Industries, Inc.
austinbob -- Yes, analyzing a joke is like dissecting a frog. It can be done, but the frog dies.
Idea for a study: Are audiophiles humor challenged? 
The New Yorke Times is fake and fake news, the New York Times is not.
This forum has been running April Fools articles on high-end speaker cables  forever even though it's not April Fools.
Myself and Donald Trump know fake news when we see it.
N80

I strongly suspect the answer is a definite yes for the majority.....

I at least thought this was funny, apt and in good taste.....

But I am a screwball so what do I know...…..
n80:
"Idea for a study: Are audiophiles humor challenged?"

I'm afraid that question has been answered long ago.  However, if you ever find yourself in the position of having to treat one of our beloved fellow audiophiles, jot this down for future reference:

"Anhedonia. R45.84 is a billable/specific ICD-10-CM code that can be used to indicate a diagnosis for reimbursement purposes."
gregm, uberwaltz & markmuse:
Thanks! I was hoping for a little chuckle to relieve the constant tedious, puerile, combative, name-calling into which many Audiogon “discussions” seem to devolve.

And you might be interested to know that another study (scheduled to be released in 364 days) is said to reveal that many of the “logs” from which so-called “ana-log” recordings are produced are in fact poached from old growth forests, or otherwise harvested unsustainably.

No doubt miller-not-carbon-neutral will be the first to disagree.

rel,

That response was less funny and less sensible than your original post.

Living proof of humorous challenge right there......

😕😕😕😕
Well done rel. I thought it was funny and creative. 
You misspelled Kazakhstan, so the rest of it simply does not matter...
I am so relieved...couldn't sleep with all the worry.....
Rel -
Even at 4/1 + 4, still funny....
Very, very well done.  

millercarbon 4/1 @ 1148AM +1

N80 +1
I guess I am not an audiophile, but I never claimed to be.  I usually don't read, I just look at the pictures.  🤪
$500, about the cost of Analogue Productions Ultra Tape R2R.
you had me going    Then
i seen The New York Times  so then i knew it was BS
1001001 SOS
Looking for light-hearted, humorous audiophiles who aren't quick to judge, quick to anger, but slow to understand.