Top two channel pre w/HT passthrough XLR best

I have been through the HT and multichannel thing for years, and while I will not give up my surround system for movies and the occasional DVD-A or SACD, I have come to realize that maybe I am fighting a futile battle looking for great two channel performance and the HT thing in one box.

I do not have space for a separate two channel system, so am leaning towards a hybrid system, with an excellent two channel preamp with HT pass through, preferably in XLR, but if it could be both RCA or XLR, that would be even better. I would also like the preamp to have balanced outputs (a MUST) and one or better yet two inputs, though I can live without these if need be.

Remote control is also key as it needs to be integrated into a system the wife and kids use for TV and movies, so I have to be able to set the preamp via IR or RF control..... I have seen some that will default to the passthrough (I think it was Cary or CJ) when the pre is powered off, and this would be a perk as well for me, as it would make the system even easier, but I am pretty good with remote controls and can likely work around if this doesn't happen.

OK, this brings me to the next aspect of this dilemma, I plan to add a TT too, I am thinking of an Avid either Sequel, Volvere, who knows depending on how some investments come out I might even consider the Acutus, likely with SME IV arm and Dynavector XX MkII cart and Sim Audio LP5.3 phono preamp.

The rest of my system is an ML 433 for fronts and currently the Escalante Fremont's for speakers all wired in Transparent Reference, soon to go to MM2 spec.

Sorry to be so long winded, but I think this all will help......

Preamps I have found that will likely fit the bill aren't cheap, surprise surprise, but the ones I've found I'm interested in are;

Conrad Johnson ACT 2
Cary SLP 05 (does all I want)
Hovland HP200
Aesthetix
?????

Help me out guys! Let me know what experience you have with any of these and if any of you can offer further suggestions to consider, I am wide open right now! I want a rich sound with solid bass control and smooth top end. Separation and air are also prime things to me.

What do you say???