Top Ten "Definitions of an Audiophile"

One sentence please. Run-on sentences tolerated.
I will begin:

"A person in pursuit of the most pleasing listening experience 
obtainable yet with no facility at all to accept that they are
 Close Enough".
"Close enough"... Now that is a good one! Decent definition though :-)
Audiophile: "One who cannot understand why they are fascinated by overpriced boxes of wires"(one should not confuse the term "Audiophile" with the term "Audiofool" or "Audionut".
Audiofool: "One who cannot stop buying different boxes of wires with expectations that the most recent box will sound superior to the previous boxes"
Audionut: "One who hoards different boxes of wires (much like a squirrel stores nuts in the ground at different locations) with the intention of digging them out when an appetite has been felt"
Note: The term "Audiophile" is often misspoken when one means to say "music lover". A music lover is a "Melophile" not an "Audiophile". It is very rare that a person is both a melophile and an audiophile and it has not occured since the 1780s when Luigi Galvani first observed the effect of static electricity in causing the legs of a frog to twitch, and observed the same effect produced just due to certain metallic contacts with the frog involving a complete circuit. Luigi was known to his friends to connect wires to frogs and he loved listening to music.

Audiophile: one who professes to love the sound of music, yet never is able to relax and enjoy it due to constantly being obsessively distracted by innumerable sonic details that never are quite right, or even if they are then the meter says they aren’t, or even if the meter says they are then the graph says they aren’t, or even if the graph says all’s well some reviewer somewhere says oh the Symphonic Bombast is so much better, or even if all the reviewers everywhere say your exact system is the best there can possibly be even that doesn’t matter because some know it all boob somewhere on the internet says what are you nuts wire direction can’t possibly matter and by the way your speakers absolutely positively must be line array electrostatic pure crystal piezo quantum time aligned, and I have the degree from Starfleet to prove it, and so away you go fussing and futzing and racking up the credit card to the point your retirement and even the roof over your head is at risk and the one thing you can never ever do is enjoy the music because you are not a music lover- yet even that is something you can argue about endlessly - because you are an audiophile. See also audiophilia nervosa.
Audiophile: A lover of audio equipment who has more dollars than sense.
Enjoys both the music and gear that makes it happen. 
He is not an audiophile! He looks kind of content & isn't holding the speaker right. Also, there isn't one spec of diamond dust on either of the drivers or the tweeter. 
Anyone who has spent more on his system than on his (or her. Yeah, right ;-) music library. I would say collection, but that term now seems to me to have negative connotations. Like buying an LP just to own it, rather than to listen to.
An audiophile is like a wine taster who despite regularly attending festivals (and having a fetish for collecting bottles and labels) rarely drinks for pleasure.
Audiophile: One who has extensive vinyl and CD collections with superb source playback, but relies exclusively on streaming.

Hmmm. I’m an audiot.  Fortunately I’ve stopped chasing the dragon ever since 2018 kicked my financial ass. 

I’ve been fortunate to be on the rebound, and I’ve gathered together a modest system that pretty much delivers everything I had in the past, albeit sans want of something else. I learnt. 

The joyful pursuit of orchestrating just the right balance of components in the expectation of providing a balanced reasonable facsimile of a performance.
An audiophile is someone who insists upon pissing against the wind, hoping one day for vindication by a dramatic change in the wind direction.

I'm still waiting, I'm still hoping..