Drummer for 43 years now and took private lessons for six years weekly in school with a very accomplished Jazz instructor/drummer. Never went professional but in high school played against Bill Stewart at State Jazz Band. If you have never heard of Bill Stewart, you should. Great drummer.
First I’d say start small and cheap and buy used. Start with a snare and start on your rudiments as suggested earlier. If you think you’re going to get descent without learning your basic rudiments you better join a punk band. If you find you’re liking it and putting in the time buy a kick drum and a hi hat only and work on your coordination skills. The snare drum that is cheap and great is a Ludwig Acrolite from the 80’s; 70’s is better for vintage resale but will cost you more and why pay the difference. Spend some time and learn how to tune a drum properly as there’s plenty of good YouTube videos. Might not be a bad idea to take a few lessons but come on, are you going to want to do that for long? No. But take a couple to learn your rudiments properly, work on your grip and hopefully she or he will give you great direction moving forward. My first instructor made me play snare for three years before starting on the kit, but you don’t have that kind of time, right?
Evntually add a floor tom and then a rack tom. You’re thinking, “What the hell you telling me? Assemble this kit one piece at a time and have a mix of shells that don’t match?” Yes, and it’s called a jelly bean kit so let’s work on our drum vocabulary next, because you need to start hanging out at drums shops and bars talking to drummers. Seriously, start small and cheap and build a jelly bean kit. I’d buy the cheapest drums over cheap cymbals. With decent heads and knowing how to tune a kit you can make cheap drums sound good, but there is no fixing crappy cymbals. So same principal to cymbals. Buy used and few, Bozzio.
Don’t buy a cheap digital kit. Buy an acoustic kit and there’s lots of ways to control the volume such as mesh heads, practice pads, lighter sticks or cool rods. Part of the fun of being a drummer is learning the hardware, how to tune, and learning about different drums, companies, different woods and construction techniques and etc. it’s a lot like being an audiophile but cooler and people will want to hang with you.
Wouldn’t hurt to learn how to read music a little and learn how to count and keep time. If you take it serious in a year you’ll still suck but will be on your way. No seriously in a year you’ll be surprised how far you’ve come from day one. You’re never to old to have fun... just do it. If in a year you just don’t get it, there’s always the electric bass.
Here’s one of my favorite drummers that proves it not the kit but the drummer.
Now everone wants to play the drums. Enjoy.