So different pro's have different capabilities. Some let you set the crossover point differently for different speakers, some do not.
That's fine. Yes, processors MUST let you set distance and volume independently. The power difference isn't really an issue here. Usually the limiting factor is excursion of the surrounds. They tend to be the smallest, so you are forced to choose between dynamic range and low crossover point.
Make sure your surrounds and center are set to "small" but leave your L and R as "large" and make sure you set the frequency a little higher, I'd go with 80 Hz or maybe up to 100.
This should give you a lot more dynamic range with them.
Best,
Erik