Others can offer more specific help. In my experience, there was no one silver bullet for the correct cross-over/phase settings or physical placement. I used a solo kickdrum track as starting point. When that sounded good, I moved on to a stand-up bass track. Etc. It took about 14 months of tweaking to dial it in to ’sounds pretty good’. YMMV
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The point to all of the settings is to have as seamless an integration as possible. Meaning, your FR is flat and unperturbed through out.
The best way to find out how to do this is to measure. You may find you can do a good job with your phone, a calibrated microphone such as the Dayton imm6 and AudioTools (on Android) or similar on iPhone:
Otherwise, Room EQ Wizard with the right microphone will also help.
If you find yourself stuck with very loud room modes, you'll need to invest in room treatment and EQ on the sub to properly integrate a sub. Hopefully you won't, but it's a small hope. :)