Subject: Anti-Piracy Breakthrough

RIAA breakthrough, the music Industry Unveils New Piracy-Proof Format: A Black, Plastic Disc With Grooves On It

Music bosses have unveiled a revolutionary new recording format that they hope will help win the war on illegal file sharing which is thought to be costing the industry millions of dollars in lost revenue.

Nicknamed the 'Record,' the new format takes the form of a black, vinyl disc measuring 12 inches in diameter, which must be played on a specially designed turntable.'

"We can state with absolute certainty that no computer in the world can access the data on this disc," said spokesman Brett Campbell. "We are also confident that no-one is going to be able to produce pirate copies in this format without going to a heck of a lot of trouble. This is without doubt the best anti-piracy invention the music industry has ever seen."

As part of the invention's rigorous testing process, the designers gave some discs to a group of teenage computer experts who regularly use file swapping software such as Limewire and gnutella and who admit to pirating music CDs. Despite several days of trying, none of them were able to hack into the disc's code or access any of the music files contained within it.

"It's like, really big and stuff," said Doug Flamboise, one of the testers. "I couldn't get it into any of my drives. I mean, what format is it? Is it, like, from France or something?"

Invention: Teenage computer hackers struggled to access the new disc. In the new format, raw audio data in the form of music is encoded by physically etching grooves onto the vinyl disc. The sound is thus translated into variations on the disc's surface in a process that industry insiders are describing as 'completely revolutionary' and 'stunningly clever.'

To decode the data stored on the disc, the listener must use a special player which contains a 'needle' that runs along the grooves on the record surface, reading the indentations and transforming the movements back into audio that can be fed through loudspeakers.

Even Shawn Fanning, the man who invented Napster, admits the new format will make file swapping much more difficult. "I've never seen anything like this," he told reporters. "How does it work?"

Pirates: Their days are numbered.

As rumors that a Taiwanese company has been secretly developing a 12 inch wide, turntable -driven, needle-based, FireWire drive remain unconfirmed, it would appear that the music industry may, at last, have found the pirate-proof format it has long been searching for.
Ya but the pirate will be able to make Cassetts
"Nothing is foolproof, because fools are ingenious."
Beautiful Albert.
Albert- Just when I have been lamenting the "tameness" of the forums, you come along and make my day. This gets my nomination for the A'gon Hall of Fame. Thanks so much, you're the best.
~~~~I have some peculiar formatted plastic boxes(aprox.": .825x5.0x6.5) with what looks like a single continuous loop of recording material inside. All the teenage computer wizards I have shown these to haven't a clue as to how to download them on their hard drives. Could be something that came down with a meteorite.

Just The Facts
The only current problem appears to getting everyone to adopt to this format. It appears many will hang on to the "redbook" standard for now. Consumers are protesting: "If I can't copy it, I'm not going to buy it." or "It's far too dificult to play in my car."
Hilarious. The format might really take off if we could just get the quality down to MP-3 levels. Folks may not even know it's music!!! Plus, there has to be a way to get it into a car. I can just picture the 12" slot in the dashboard. Fingerprints anyone? And, how do you drive a car while it's on an isolation platform?

You might want to check out this page which showcases a "new" player for Albert's anti-piracy device:

Happy listening,
p.s. The anti-vibration devices used are adjustable air bladders at all four corners. They are called "tires".
Patrick, how did you find that??? It's wonderful. Of course, now I'm waiting for all the components to come with fully independent suspension and white wall tires ;-)

Since I'm older (52) and a car guy I was aware of the car record player option that Chrysler offered. I actually have seen them, and in working order. Believe it or not, they track quite well while being driven. Elvis had one installed in a drop top Cadillac also.

Happy listening,