Stradivari Drum Funny

What's the definition of a perfect gentleman?

Someone who can play the saxophone. And doesn't.

What's the definition of "perfect pitch"?

-You throw a trombone in the lake and you hit a viola.

Q: Why have violists trouble in entering a room?
A: They never know when to come in.

Q: What do a viola player's fingers and lightening have in common?

A: The never strike the same place twice.

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
-The viola burns longer

How can one tell that the floor of the stage is level?
-The violists are drooling out of both sides of their mouths

A violist, on her way to a rehearsal, stops at the 7-11 to buy a cup of coffee. Thinking that it is safe to leave her instrument on the back seat of her car for two minutes, she locks the car and runs in for her coffee. Coffee in hand, she returns to her car, and to her dismay sees that one of the car's windows has been smashed. On the back seat of the car she sees... two violas.

Yunnnk, yunnnk

Oops, it should say viola not violin, the last word in my first post. Thanks CFB, clumsy as my banter is wrought anyway, with violin instead of viola it makes indeed no bloody sense at all....

sorry, but the joke makes no bloody sense to me. is this another take on sax and violins? -cfb

Marakanetz, no, behind my attempt to be funny is the "war" in the string section of the orchestra, with violinists thinking themselves better than viola players. Look into the internet under viola player jokes and you'll find out. Most unfair of course, but my post was alluding to that sort of banter. Sorry to have caused a misunderstanding.

Hmm I wasn't too deep on to the naming but English isn't my 1st language and I probably understand differently the types of strings.
Can we say viola is a type of violin? Most-likely Yes.
Can we say cello is a type of violin? Certainly Yes.

Marakanetz, I'm the friend of a violin virtuoso, so I know: Strad made VIOLAS for dumbs, the violin players were too smart for that and used to kick in his drums, whenever he tried to sell them a violin.