Speaker recs. Please read all and reply. b&W, Vand

Full Disclosure. I recently purchased Adcom equipment. The GFA7400 amp and GTP-830. I understand this may not be the best in terms of quality equipment however for the price I bought it for, considering I wanted separates I could not turn it down. My plans are to make a solid system that will last me for years and give me audiophile performance. I need to still purchase speakers and a source for DVD/CD.
I listen to all kinds of music but I predominantly listen to Hip Hop, R&B, Rap. I also listen to rock and classical music once in a while. My wife has more varied tastes in music and I want to ensure the system will perform to her expectations as well. (this is a secondary goal) My buget for the speakers and DVD/CD is about $2000. Since I plan on making this a hobby I do not want to buy 5 speakers and a sub all at once. I want to expand bit by bit. I will need the system to meet all my home theater needs in the future.
I was thinking to begin by buying the DVD/CD, front speakers and sub first.
Thus far I have auditioned B&W DM603 s3, the 604, the 600 sub. During this listen I had brought my own CD's and therefore I know what it sounds like with the music I typically listen to. It was awesome until --

I listened to Vandersteen 2 Signatures. Please note I did not have the CD's I typically listen to but with the music the dealer played it just killed the B&W's. They aren't as pretty but the sound quality could not even compare.

I still want to try Magnepan's and any other hi end speakers that will fullfill my audio dreams. I really don't know what to do.

I want speakers that will last. If I buy the Vandys or Maggies, I don't know if they are good for the music I listen to. From what I have read it seems that these type of speakers are for folk and chamber music. If I play my harsher music on these speakers will it damage the speakers?
I know with a sub it the system will have an adequete amount of bass. Any suggestions would be helpful.