Rudeness With 'net Sales

I have decided to go back to dealing with dealers I know, or can meet face to face. I have grown sick of the rudeness of sellers, in particular, and occasionally buyers when transacting over the internet. One part of me wonders if I am cutting my nose to spite my face, so to speak. But I find a pleasantly transacted deal has an effect on my enjoyment of this hobby and maybe even causes me to feel better about the equipment acquired. I am interested in how others have fared with internet transactions in this regard.

This post is probably an over-reaction to a recent discourse with two dealers on the internet whose primary focus in their correspondence in reply to my enquiries was about the consequences of me failing to meet my side of the bargain - stated so indelicately by both as to seem more like an accusation. My reaction to both was to tell them I had no interest in entering into a contract with someone who clearly was going to be unpleasant to deal with. As it happens both are connected with this site (but I will not name them).
Red: I recently had to phone a net dealer as my transaction wouldn't go through online. Now I have done transaction online and have no real complaints (except extra charges) but this time I called the dealer with my credit card. We had a really good conversation and it just seemed to be a more pleasant way to do business. There is a certain comfort in being able to talk to the person and establish a rapport. I think if you punch a bunch of buttons and the item doesn't arrive on time you tend to get nervous quicker. I have also noticed that seasoned Audiogon sellers and buyers prefer to talk on the phone to their counterparts. After my last experience I'm going to spend the long distance charges first and get a sense as to whether I'm dealing with a straight shooter. Thanks to Gene at Take Five Audio. Regards,
I've been lucky with all my Ebay purchases and the two cases
in which I was the seller and never spoke with the buyer first or ever. In those cases they sent the monies first, so what did I care? I agree I prefer to speak with someone I have never met before, especially if I'm at risk in the transaction. ALL of my purchases with dealers have gone more than smooth, though none of them were "Net Dealers". Guess I've been lucky. MikE
I guess the potential is ever-present. Many inquiries (for me) are more about information, a review, sometimes combined with a low ball offer!- Yup,I get irritated;I some times take it out on the source;where it belongs.

I did a transaction;spent 2 hrs. on the phone-describing, etc, / it went bad(nsf-personal check, for a postal cod) So, it doesn't always go as planed; phone conversation or not.

I spent 45 min on the phone(yup,I always seem to pay for the call). At the 44 min. mark; he tells me doesn't have the $$$ ; wants me to take a "junker" as part trade.--- I wasn't to nice to him;you can be sure.
The good one's outnumber the bad one's I think. My last two deals have been outstanding. If you find a bad dealer who can't handle the inquiries then do what you did and move on. I'm not saying it's not ok to take a pot-shot at em when your walkin out the door, it's just that it takes too much energy to get upset over stuff like this. The good one's are out there, find them and stick with them. See the recent thread on good dealers for some ideas, but don't let the two pricks in this world spoil the whole thing for you--buying and selling on the net is fun.
I guess I've been real fortunate. I'm relatively new to Audiogon and I've only had three transactions; one with a dealer (stewart at SOS) and two personal ones. All three were great to deal with; I sent money, they sent the items. Why can't they all be like that? Sure would hate to lose you guys to attrition. I think there's got to be a better way to separate the "Good" from the "Bad"...
Wow, my experience has been with rude buyers, not sellers. You clearly post what methods of payment you take and they ask you to accept one not listed; I want to sell the piece, but if I don't list PayPal I don't take it. Likewise if I want offers I put obo, otherwise the price is firm; why would someone lowball in this instance? Are they lonely, do they have time on their hands? Yes. A gentleman asked me to phone him and when I did he asked me a question clearly answered in the ad. Sheesh. But fortunately, I can say without hesitation that I have met more knowledgeable, honorable and just fun people on Audiogon than the few thorns in my side. That's saying a lot.
You just take the good with the bad... the good far outweighing my few unpleasant online experiences. Life in general is about tradeoffs; in this case you put up with some annoyances, but look at the $ saved compared to retail! The $/annoyance ratio still makes online trading very worthwhile at least for me. If $ weren't such an issue, as it isn't for some fortunate few, my perspective might be quite different however.
Red to specifically answer your question, the 'manners' encountered during a few of my online transactions indeed left a lot to be desired, but I've encountered worse (& better too) even in the retail shops. Overall however, I'm more satisfied with my online dealings than with retail, price notwithstanding. Just sleep on it for awhile; try to not allow the bad experiences taint everything?
Redkiwi; sorry to hear of your sour dealings on Audiogon. Personally I've had over 50 transactions-- both buying and selling-- on Audiogon and eBay and they've all been good ones. I also have had several deals with Stewart at Sanctuary of Sound in Seattle, WA., an Audiogon dealer; he is excellent to deal with-- pleasant, fast, and has fair prices. Like others, I have had to deal with "tirekickers" and occasionally some rudeness (on non-deals), but I think that's part of i-net dealing. I hope you don't give up on Audiogon. Best of Luck. Craig
Redkiwi, I've been very lucky with my transactions on Audiogon. I have always been very fortunate to deal with friendly and honest people. I'm sorry to hear of your disillusionment.

Agon members Haruo, Robbychan, Genesis168, Billpatterson, and Hendersonrc have been the epitomy of honesty, courteousness, and superior service. And I can't say enough about the great service of Agon vendors Disco and Vinlyvalet. They are among those rare sellers that make you feel like you're their only customer. They have gone above and beyond what I would expect of any merchant. To them, the sale isn't over once payment is received.

I should also mention that many Agon forum members such as yourself, Dekay and Megasam have shared your/their wealth of knowledge and experience, and given this newbie[me] great advice.

The people I have listed above have made my journey through this addicting hobby a pure joy.
Redkiwi,have had 2 deals thru Audiogon,and both were smooth.However,sometimes, not being able to cut the cards makes me nervous.Have seen your posts and i really like them,don't go away!Play on my friend,Bob
I second Usblues' comments. Play on indeed!
I have bought two items on Audiogon with total satisfaction. I am sure ther is a bad apple here and there and I hope I don't run into them in the future. I want to thank Gunbei for his comments about the people here. I feel the same way!
I tend to agree that buying on eBay from those with large numbers of transactions to their name has generally been a good experience. But being repeatedly treated like an ex-con when I make a polite enquiry irritates me. Obviously these guys have got burned by difficult buyers, and so it is the buyers that are probably the cause of the problem.

I have a friend who tends to go to the same restaurants all the time, and does so because he likes to be recognised and respected when he goes out to eat. I have always found that a bit amusing, but suddenly begin to understand how he feels. I think in his case it may be the prejudice against his race that has caused him to shy away from going somewhere new. Perhaps I am getting a similar problem with US dealers who see me as another troublesome foreign buyer.

It is heartening to hear that others are finding doing business over the internet is working for them. How many of you are not from the USA?
Redkiwi, your issue regarding transactions between people in different countries is a very valid point. I can see how both buyers and sellers would be wary of an international transaction.

This is why I must commend such Agon members as Haruo and Robbychan who live in Canada and Australia, respectively. They have both shown the utmost honesty and trust in me, even though I live in Los Angeles, California, USA.

I too have encountered sellers who were very curt or unwilling to offer further explanation of their items for sale. As you said, they may have had bad experiences previously and don't want to go through days of correspondence only to have the buyer unexpectedly bail out. But when I get a response like that my initial thought is that they may be getting an inordinate number of e-mails for the same item I'm interested in, and are trying their best to answer all the inquiries.

That being said, I always try to get a vibe of the person I'm dealing with first. If they seem like nice people and are willing to answer my questions, I feel that much better about buying from them. It can be time consuming, but building a repoire with the other party can help make both sides feel good about the transaction. Heck, one guy even knocked over 10% off the price and said he'd half the shipping with me. And this is without me even asking for a lower price. The price he had listed was already quite fair. So I told him that he was being very generous, and I'd cover the entire 2-day shipping.

Lastly, in my experience the people I've completed a smooth and friendly transaction with ALWAYS leave positive feedback. It can be disheartening when you leave someone good feedback and they don't reciprocate with ANY feedback. Completing a fun transaction and making a new friend makes this hobby that much more fun.
redkiwi: i fear you are subject to being painted by a too-broad brush merely because you reside outside the usa. i'd bet there are plenty of "regulars" who inhabit this chatroom, including me, who would happily provide you with a set of "references" you might email to internet sellers in order to establish easily your bona fides. just a thought but let us know how we might assist. -kelly
Thanks Cornfedboy. I have had similar generous offers of help in the past from Jadem6, Albertporter and Brulee, and it means a lot to me to be offered such help - but I suppose I shy away from taking advantage of their friendship. Why would I risk their friendship for the sake of a deal that might go wrong in a way I cannot control - a bit like the point made by the character Robert Redford plays in "Out Of Africa" about friends and lending them books. I keep friendship and business in different baskets in my life.

I am feeling a bit self-indulgent posting this whinge.

After many internet transactions I am just feeling inclined to be loyal to a few dealers that I have experience with these days, rather than roam the net freely, because I enjoy being a good customer of a good dealer. The internet has been a wonderful way to make contact with some of these dealers, but the novelty value is wearing thin.

I was interested in whether others were feeling the same way, and it is interesting for me that the responses here suggest not.