Please Help Me!!


Hello everyone!  I’m in need of some guidance on purchasing my next integrated amp...

I’ve got an amp in mind and will probably just buy that unit but am looking for positive reinforcement on the amp that I’m leaning towards.  If given any other recommendations, I’ll try to explain why my choice is better!

So here’s what I’m looking for...  The integrated amp needs to have been built between April 27, 1996 and May 23, 2002.  I was told by “someone” that this was the golden age of mid-fi; he owns a pretty high end bose sound system so he is indeed qualified.  I’m also looking for a unit with between 82-167 watts, no more no less (my speakers are rated at 170 watts so I don’t want to blow them). Oh, and the volume control knob has to be on the left side of the unit, unless the unit is over 27 pounds, then the volume knob needs to be on the right (I’ve got a nosey parrot that likes loud jazz, don’t ask).   Sound quality is not of importance at all; does it have lights on the front?  Good enough for me!  And I absolutely do not want a remote control.  I am not buying any more batteries so I do not want to pay thousands of dollars more for a unit just because it has a remote.  I don’t ever use remote controls and I’m running out of kitchen drawers to put my remotes in so please, no recommendations that have remote controls.

I’ve been looking all over for 2+ years for this end game integrated but can’t seem to find anything that suits my needs!  PLEASE HELP!

*any recommendations will not be considered as I’ve already decided what to buy and just wanted to let you know how and why my choice of integrated is better than your recommendations!
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I have the exact unit you are looking for, but before I disclose the information about the seller, he requires you answer a few questions, as he will only sell to the correct person:

1). What will you be using to elevate your speaker cables?
2). Green or no green pen?
3). Optimus or mangnavox transport?
4). Am5, 901, or icepick to the ears?
5). Timeframe or Soundfield?

If you answer all correctly, I have been authorized to provide the seller’s info (coded of course).
Ask your friend with the Bose system if you can buy it. And then...you can order the new Bose cracker dispenser specially designed for parrot owners delivered to your door via homing pigeon. Where will high end audio ever stop?

After "If given any other recommendations, I’ll try to explain why my choice is better!", I was already 90% sure this was humor.  Then before I even finished the next sentence, I knew it was!  Pretty clever, and a slight bit subtle; enjoyable.