I’m sad to hear of your situation. I relate to it on many levels.
1) I grew up in central Jersey and spent a lot of my youth in Princeton and the Princeton Record Exchange. Driving between there and Vintage Vinyl In the 80s and 90s made a number of memorable weekends!
2) I dealt with sleep apnea for a year, but the mechanisms I was offered did little to help. I found them to be obtrusive, and ultimately therapy and better training to sleep on my side with a more fitting pillow helped me get over it completely.
3) I too have slight upper frequency hearing loss, but it was not caused by sleep Apnea. Before moving away from the tri-state area, my audiologists and otologists of choice was the NY League for the Hard of Hearing and the New York Eye and Ear Infirmary. I went to both for many years, and the service both provide, along with the caliber of the hearing aids, were leagues above other locations I found in NJ. I currently wear Phonak Audeo hearing aids that are ported so it allows natural frequencies in and supplements the highs I am not getting.
I would offer this as consolation. Despite any hearing loss, you can fully continue enjoying being an audiophile. Don’t let any challenges get in your way to finding happiness with music. With the right attitude, these challenges will only make you listen more intently than most people.
While you may feel initially like you’re not “getting everything”, you will realize that you will be able to “feel” when high frequencies are not properly present or too overbearing. Those frequencies not only affect what you hear in said frequencies, but they help to define other aspects of the music in terms of spatial cues, decay, air, and tonal balance in the room. You will learn to perceive music with both sides of your brain, your body, and your heart.
One of the reasons I invest myself so deeply as an audiophile is because it helps my listening skills and relationship building skills across the rest of my life. And now, I’m a high end audio dealer, and given my deficiencies, people are surprised at how well I can match components to drive system synergy and position and treat rooms for optimal performance. This in itself gives me confidence in what I’m doing and what I’m feeling enough to put myself out there like this vulnerably regardless of whether anyone may roast me for being a dealer with hearing challenges. There’s even a Facebook group for audiophiles with hearing loss that might interest you. I engage on there from time to time.
Your guidance is right - get the proper counseling and treatment. But also don’t ever let these challenges get in the way of you ever finding your true happiness, especially if it’s listening to music!