Name your lame duck artist........


What artist do you put above all others in terms of lack of talent but somehow has achieved success?

For me Madonna has to be the queen of mediocrity (mediocre being a compliment in this case) - can't sing or act and what's with the fake english accent after living there a whole two years.
And don't get me going with all these new female jazz "singers" with that vomit inducing vibratoless whisper that seems to have become mandatory in that genre today......Jones clones.
thomastrouble

Showing 30 responses by thomastrouble

Patricia Barber - I think she goes in the studio and says "pull my finger", sticks it in a jewel case and people actually pay for it - amazing!
Zeneith

Absolutely agree. Bought one of her albums and thought it was ok, bought more and not only will she make you doze off but they all sound exactly the same, no flavor whatsoever. Funny thing is now you have all these other chicks trying to emulate her. The name too.......sounds like a little old lady with a sewing machine.
What........Madonna HAS talent, or was that Patricia Barber?

Love to hear your lame duck nomination...would that be Elvis, Jimmy Hendrix or Stevie Ray Vaughn?
Kanye West - talented as a producer but massively overrated overall......never was a fan though.
Oh Oh, look who just arrived....come on in and make yourselves at home.

Dmob - great to see you coming in with guns blazing like that.....loved it. I was afraid to mention Diana Krall since there is a huge Kraller army on here. It was just like the infantry arrived.

Hey Bongo - looks like you got Darkmeobius all beered up before you guys kicked the door in.
Don't agree on the Kanye thing though - I never thought hip-hop stopped being fresh and never really got it when people said that about him. Plus, I have always been into a little more of the underground stuff, and to get the cover of time magazine I would have expected him to invent a whole new genre. As I said - great producer but I never could get into his rapping. When people from Sao Paulo speak they tend to sound like they are moaning (complaining) and Kanye's voice comes across to me like that too.
Great post too Bongo.
By the way, why should Kiss not make it based on a tongue? Jelo did it based on an ass.
Dmob - have you been reading my diary? Sounds like every name you mentioned was in there.
RNM4

Madonna has talent???? The only talent I can find there is her talent in hiding it.

Panning an artist isn't implying you have taste at all, it simply means you think that person ( Barber) is crap. If I thought she was great would that would that imply I had no taste?
I don't expect everybody to think my favorite artists are top of the heap, and I certainly wouldn't be hurt if they had their own negative opinion. Taste is nothing more than preference, though some people like to deny you that choice by insisting you prefer what they prefer.
As far as Leonard Cohen goes - pretentuous dribble as far as I am concerned. If you want to be wooed by spoken word go check out Tom Waits for a bit of lyrical genious.
Re. Elvis - what do you mean when you despise the sensibility? Gyrating his hips?......shocking !
I am taking a wild guess it you aren't into gangster rap.
Sit

Tom Waits is stuck in one boring droaning sound??? The guy is all over the place with his sound and that is what I like about him - far from safe.

Martkl

No, I had it right - dribble, better still, toilet flush. I just don't get it when a guy spurts out a torrent of supposed metaphors that mean nothing to anybody except himself, and I even doubt that. Such a poet, and a singer. He is probably laughing his ass off at all the people that pretend to get the absolute nonsense he passes off as "art" and are willing to pay $13.99 for.
Don't know what the hell Herbie Hancock was thinking when he brought the clown in on "River" - put a huge blemish on an otherwise great album, thank god it was the last track. I am already holding the remote ready to hit stop when the previous track fades out.
Still, whatever floats your boat, I know you would also cringe if you heard a lot of my favorites. Leonard Cohen just happens to be my personal pet peeve.

Darkmoebius

Exactly! People join a forum directing them to state who they think are in a position they don't deserve to be in, then when someone (including them) when we point out flaws in an artist we are "off mark" or cruel.
Entrope

I know - my sarcastic Britsh sense of humor gets the better of me - just having fun.
Martykl

I actually have his CD "Dear Heather" playing as I write this and I am trying to get into it but I find it extremely funny, and that dreadful attempt at some kind of sexy voice is just killing me. I just find it incredible that he is serious. Some decent music behind the voice and that's it.

Anyway, I grabbed some lyrics to to run by myself in attempt to delve into the mind of a genius.

TO LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT IS HAUNTED BY THE GHOST OF YOU AND ME
YOU WERE MARLON BRANDO AND I WAS STEVE McQUEEN
YOU WERE KY JELLY AND I WAS VASELINE

That's pretty deep man.

Here is an excerpt from an interview when he was approached unexpectedly back-stage:

In this interview he was asked to explain the lyrics to one of his highly regarded songs -

"I'm not sure what it means right now because I had this long voyage from Chicago. I think it means exactly what it says. It is a terrorist song. I think it is a response to terrorism. There's something about terrorism that I have always admired, that position is always very attractive. I don't like it when it's manifested on the physical plane. I don't really enjoy the terrorist activities - buy Psychic Terrorism. I remember there was a great poem by Irving Layton that I once read - I'll give you a paraphrase of it. It was "well you guys blow up an occasional airline and kill a few children here and there" He says "but our terrorists are Jesus, Freud, Marx, Einstein. The whole world is still quaking."

He goes on to clarify the meaning of another one of his great masterpieces:

"It's a curious song. I used to know what it means but I don't know what it means anymore, and I think it was just a moment ago that I wrote it. I think I intended to take Manhattan and then Berlin. Oh comrades you are very kind and very warm, but kind as you are and warm as you are it will not deter me from my appointed task which is to take Manhattan and then Berlin and any other cities and do with them what I will.

Oh, now I get it.

He's selling camel shit and telling you all its top grade hash.

Oh, the title song "Dear Heather" has just come on - quite possibly the worst song I have ever heard in my life, it really is amazing that this circus is supposed to be serious. Don't know if you are familiar with the song "Dear Heather", if not check it out on the internet and give me an honest opinion - I am genuinely curious to see what you are all getting out of this. Don't mean to sound rude but it really does anger me to see people getting away with passing this twaddle off as art or music.
Grateful Dead - Didn't know who these guys were when I first came to the US then all these people started telling me how "far out" and "right on" they were. I finally said "righteous brother" and went out and bought Skeletons in the Closet, gave it one listen and tossed it in the closet.

I forgot to also mention Whitesnake.

Now here is a guy with a lot of releases many of you may have jumped around to back in the day. Here is a list of some of those releases:

DISCO SWEAT

IN THE MOOD TO LOSE

SUPER SWEATIN

BOOGIE DOWN THE POUNDS

NO IFS AND BUTTS

TONIN TO THE OLDIES

TOTALLY TONIN

COUNTRY CARDIO

Time to don your leopard-skin leotards and leggings and dig out your old tapes guys - IIIIITTTSSSS.............RICHARD SIMMONS !

Prefer the BUNS OF STEEL DVD myself tough.
Gawdbless

I'm screwed - I have an irish accent.....straight outta Belfast.

Loved the movie though.
Cohen's responses to questions re. the deep meaning behind his lines reminded me of Dylan being quizzed at some university on the deep meaning behind a line in his song "The man in the long B;ack Coat".

The song goes......

People don't live or die, people just float
she's gone with the man in the long black coat

Someone asked what exactly did he mean when he said "people don't live or die, people just float. ( a great line with huge BS potential).

His answer - " nothing, I just needed something that rhymed with coat"

I found his lack of BS very refreshing. Now, if Cohen had been asked that.......

Once someone starts marketing themselves as some kind of a prophet there will always be people who will find genius in the most meaningless semantics.
Martykl

I appreciate your taking the time to explain even though I will never be convinced. Likewise, I know I could sit here praising the virtues of some great hip-hop and I know I will never manage to convert some people (not that this was your intention). There are horses for courses. I am glad that you are getting pleasure from something that I could possibly be missing though. Hey, you really should give that song a listen, the whole CD probably isn't up to his early stuff and I am left scratching my head why anybody would put it out. I would also be first to admit that I am not much of a poetry person (in spoken word) and that obviously colors my perception of the guy.
I could probably appreciate him more if he stuck to poetry and not music, or maybe music without the poetry.
I have tried in the past and I will again try to appreciate him but I hold about as much hope in that as Beyonce leaving her man for me.
Bongo

Do you still have family there? I don't miss the weather there at all, but the humor and non-stop banter Is what I miss. I was actually going to fly over next week but that got put on the back burner til mid summer.
Portglenone - very nice little place.

Bongp

Ah Kelly's - Bongo, you are making me homesick, you have actually been in my old watering hole, god, it's a small world. I love the pub culture back home with all the non-stop banter that goes along with it and I never realized how much we really do drink back there until I left and got among normal people out here.
Things are changing for the better too re. the troubles.
Have you been reading about Mrs Robinson? Google "Mrs Robinson" for a giggle - amazing that a a shag on the side could (and is) bring a country to its knees.
When I lived there. around the time for last orders more often than not, the bar would turn into a scene from an old John Wayne movie with fists and bar stools flying everywhere. Glad to say things have mellowed out a bit now.
Related story - when I was at university I was dating an aristocrat and being working class ( but pretending not to be) I brought her to Belfast and checked into the Europa Hotel, Belfast's top hotel at the time to impress her. The hotel is right opposite the oldest bar in Belfast (possibly Ireland) and It was my regular. She was very excited to see the inside of the bar and get a glimpse of my background so we got showered and dressed and crossed the road to go in. Just at that moment the windows came crashing out and a huge brawl emptied out into the street, bar staff in aprons with sleeves rolled up and fists flying like windmills, there were probably fifty people involved. My cover was blown.
Undestatement of the year -
Phil Lesh........."well maybe I'm not the greatest singer in the world"
Had weird experience yesterday. I decided to get off my property and drive to the mall. I picked up a sampler type CD called "The New Jazz Divas" with one song from each of the usuals (13 in all). I loved Diana Krall singing "Temptation" nice lazy track with chunky beats and, well sung with a bit of life to it, just when I expected to see zzzzzzzzz coming out of the speakers.
Life is full of surprises.
Darkmoebius

Caught your comment over on the "rap" thread. I agree.....but, for me at least, what makes a good thread is disagreement and fighting words or it all gets a little boring after we have our initial say. Props to Macdad for losing it over on the rap thread and to Bongo for responding - loved it! Just shows we are all adults and can disagree, have words and dust it off and be friends again. I almost went there with Martykl on Leonard Cohen but he was such a nice guy ( I wished he wasn't) I just couldn't do it.
There has to be plenty of people who have a favorite that even they know is crap, but just like dating that ugly chick and justifying it by something as bizarre as her having great personality it would be great to see some some defense of "lameness" to provoke a bit of controversy.
Not trying to start anything, but why will Beethoven's Fifth never live up to, say, the creative genius of 2Pac's "Wonder Why They Call You Bitch." or Mahler's 4th Symphony (or Miles Davis' Kind of Blue for that matter) never reach down so deep in our souls as Notorious B.I.G. with "Hypnotize" ???
I am sure very many, (actually most) people on here LOVE hip-hop and will be happy to tell us why.
While I was at the mall I saw a used John Tesh CD for $1.99 and couldn't resist (how can you claim to have eclectic tastes if you don't have at least one JohnTesh CD in your collection). I brought it home and popped it in for a laugh and he started the track off with "take a deep breath, take a deep breath" I thought the next line was going to be "this is going to hurt", but no - it was brilliant - so uplifting. Now John and Vanilla Ice are my two favorite all-time artists. And just to think I could have wasted that $1.99 towards my $15.99 slutfest pay per view bill at Motel 6.
Bongo

Agree - I saw Robert Plant perfoming at a Queen/Freddy tribute concert concert. Looked like someone had loosened the valve and let the air out of a blow-up dummy - really dreadful. Yes, the whole trick is to hang up your badge before it gets to that.
Mark Knopfler is another guy I had respect for but after hearing his solo stuff it was like he was saying "hey guys, look how much I suck now". It becomes hard to separate that image form the original.

Biggie and 2Pac had the right idea - get shot while you are on top.
Bongo

You f......ker!!!! The Crown - Jesus Christ it really is a tiny world. Hey, you didn't happen to stop off for a cup of tea in my mum's house while you were at it. Looks like you were just about everywhere else that I like to be but can't right now.
Like I said, I was hoping to be shooting off there to leave my dog with my family while I hop to Brazil for a bit, but I forgot about the six month planning/wait bit for taking an animal in. Actually got myself registered as a deaf guy and everything so he could come in the cabin with me. Well, now he gets to be my wing-man for the babes on the beach. None of that old six month malarky for Brazil.
Did you ever check out the Mrs Robinson scandal?
That's funny Bongo. Hey, I am planning on going back home for a few days mid-summer - would you mind if I used you as a tour guide of my own home town, I think you know your way around better than I do.
That was a beautiful city Bongo before it all got blown up in the 70s - fantastic architecture, but most of it is gone.
I popped over to the Bourbon thread, but I as a beer drinker I am out of my depth. Now, if it was a "puff" thread.........
Hey, this is not in any way intended to be a lame duck nomination and I think I am missing something here. Some time ago I bought Jeff Buckley's "Grace". I had read nothing but praise for it from every angle, read up on his life to enhance the listening experience and much as I have tried I just can't get into it at all. The fact that tracks off it, notably "Halillua" (I know, wrong spelling but I can't be assed) went off the charts means the whole world except me is dialing into something that is going over my head. I know the problem has got to be me here.
I would love to hear your comments on this album and I know there will be many (if not all) positive ones and maybe you can convince me before I resign myself to having wasted $18.99.
This isn't an audiophile issue and it's not a real catchy track that you would expect to reach the #1 spot with general listeners. Nice track and well sung but its massive success surprises me.
Better still, does anybody else NOT like it......I am starting to feel like a freak of nature.