I gotta join in bagging Diana Krall, Patricia Barber, and Norah Jones. After reading audiophiles go on and on about them, I had to download a few cd's to see what I was missing out on. That's just music-lite. Not saying they don't have talent or good voices, it's just their music is soooo bland.
Phil Collins is another talentless gasbag. Even his drumming is sappy(though skilled). He's as cheesey as Bolton and Yanni.
Green Day deserves special attention for claiming to be punk, or even punk-inspired. They're just David Cassidy with spiked hair and tattoos.
Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston have a special place in Lame Duck Land. How they've gotten away with the vocal masturbation for so long, I don't know.
And while I'm at it, can we ban the word "Diva" for the rest of this century. The only ones who have any right to assume that title these days are Drag Queens. At least they have originality.
I'm gonna through The Eagles under the bus, too. Loved them in the 70's, but listening to them now just highlights how incredible schmaltzy they were. Really, "Tequila Sunrise" and "Disco Strangler"?
Sheryl Crow is this generation's Barry Mannilow - her talent is in writing 30 second tv commercial jangles.
Hey, I'm loving this thread, it's kinda cathartic. |
I'm impressed by the fact that some people haven't gotten this thread is obviously about personal opinion/preference and sarcasm. Nobody is insisting no one else like the things we hate.
Now, back to bagging.
David Sanborn. Now there's a timeless cheesemaster. To think, he was actually an accomplished bluesman before becoming the King of Smooth. I'd rather watch wet socks dry than listen to him for 30 minutes.
Sting. What a freakin' tool. Not only has he been putting out elevator music for the last 15 years, but any shred of respect I may have held for him went right out the door when he did the Super Bowl halftime show in gold spandex pants ~4-5 years ago. And did he really believe anyone gave a crap about his 4 hour Tantric orgasms? What a f'n wanker.
John Tesh. Johnny, johnny, johnny! Words alone cannot describe the scale of his lameness. He may actually be the single most cheesey musical recording "artist" of the last 20 years. The only individual I can think of that even challenges Tesh would have to be Vanilla Ice. But, Ice gets extra points for being a dick. At least Tesh is a nice guy. |
Yeah, Beyonce
I'm a sucker for a hot face and a bountiful ass |
Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit is not only a Lame Duck, he's a douche bag. First for naming his band that, and second, for somehow convincing himself and fans that he had "street cred".
As a front man and musically, he's a talentless prick. Although, I do have to give him credit as a fledgling director for the 2009 movie "The Education of Charlie Banks". It had none of his onstage wanna-be, from the 'hood, street attitude. Surprising, to say the least. |
Grateful Dead - ok, I'll spot them the first go-'round cause it was the 60's and all. Free love, drugs, communal living, 2 hour extended jams, etc.
But, by the time we got to the 80's and they were the top grossing tour year in, year out, staying strictly at the Four Seasons hotels and flying in by jet helicopter, while a new generation of upper middle class kids were sleeping in the parking lot pretending at the 60's, the hippy thing was a $70 million a year sham. Unwashed Spinners ripe with the biting smell of acrid sweat and Petruli oil is enough to make anyone with a nose vomit.
And the $24.99 Jerry Garcia ties at Macy's and JC Penny?
Wait, I haven't even discussed their music...Then again, why would I? I loved taking acid and mesc, nitros balloons, etc. as much as the next guy, but their music still bored me. How many different ways does the world really need "Dark Star".
And was Jimmy Buffet ever actually good? He should be taken out behind the woodshed just for making Tommy Bahama shirts popular. |
Paul, obviously that moron didn't know that most bands fake the Rock & Roll JD chug and fill the bottle with tea.
Seriously, that had to leave him with one hell of hangover and a bad case of the whiskey shits. |
You've got a good point, Mac, considering those unfamiliar with the classic artists will never get a chance to hear them on popular radio. So, anyone that opens the door to these by paying tribute, has to be given some credit.
That's why I've never been too hard on Harry Connick, jr. He always gave credit where, and helped introduce a new generation to jazz, no matter how lite his own stuff may be. |
02-08-10: Viridian
Cassandra Wilson seems to pay homage to the great vocalists of the past, not that she is in their class, while still having her own style and voice. Some of her material has been variable, but at her best, she has a lot to recommend her. I'm right there with you in regards to Cassandra. She actually has a voice on the level of the greats when she's on, it's just undermined by the majority of crap music she chooses. Her '83 disc "Blue Light 'Til Dawn" has some great music and phenomenal vocals on it. "New Moon Daughter" has a few, too. But, I don't have much patience for most of her other stuff - especially the New Agey crap. She seems to have trouble picking or sticking with a single coherent style. |
That's 1993 for "Blue Light 'Til Dawn" |
Aaaaah, the Who at at LA Coliseum, 1982. That was a great show as far as I can remember - a lot of hallucinogens going 'round, not that I partook ;0)
You're right, Cassandra needs to abandon her eclectic crap and just start crushing the classic standards. I'd love to hear her do songs that made Ella & Sarah Vaughan great.
DeeDee Bridgewater is another great voice undermined by her taste in music. Her 1997 "Love and Peace: A Tribute to Horace Silver" and '98 "Dear Ella" are brilliant. After that, hit & miss, at best. At worst, pure schlock. |
