My love of music is killing me.

I have been a music lover my entire life but now at age 51 I just can't listen without falling into a deep depression. My oldest son Devon inherited my love for music and took it even further. By age 25 he was a VERY talented guitar, bass player. We use to take turns playing tracks for each other just to broaden our herizons....but his gone now. I lost Devon 11-27-09 after a 6 year battle with cancer. I held his hand as he passed that night. The illness took everything but his love of music. His right cheek bone, right upper jaw bone, a rib, muscles in his abdomen and back,sight from his right eye...and finally his life....I could do nothing but watch....wishing it was me laying there going through that hell. Its been a year and a half now...his birthday will be next week. He would of been 29. Now when I listen to music I cry instead of smile. May be one day the joy will return but for now there is a hole too large to fill.

Hug your kids....Pease.
Thank you for sharing and reminding us how important it is to
hug our children! I am very grateful for my 2 daughters and grandson, plus their husband and fiance, after losing my wife
last year they are keeping me sane... I pray that you will stay strong and enjoy as much life as you can! Professional help can hasten your ability to deal with such a tragic loss.
My sincere condolences!
As you can tell, alot of people are caring about you. I've had to deal with the pain of a loss of a loved one. It's a very personal thing. It was a good thing to post here. The heart will try and heal itself and it takes time. Long walks or some form of exercise seems to be additive. Please check back with us.
Dean, we lost our youngest son, Michael, 9 years ago. I know what I went through and can understand your pain and anger. It took me about 6 years to realize there was no one I could hurt, kill, maim, or even point a finger at and make it better. Contact me if you want to talk. I won't guarantee I can help because I still fight it every day. ;-)