Recorded music, live lovin'? Man you have a serious audio jones!
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I'm shocked ... shocked I tell you! I'm a big believer in the law of demand and supply. Since music has a rather unlimited supply, I have to assume that rolls are even more abundant in your case. As a man devoted to his wife for over 20 years, I can but earnestly encourage you to take advantage of all the rolls you can while they are so freely available ... with or without music ;-)
Universal problem my man - you gotta be a little slick, hook the system up and let it warm up, do some rollin, then do some listenin. My wife of 22 years has given up - she now tells me she wishes she was a stereo cause the attention would be awesome. I've made real progress because she used to say "why don't you go *&%##*&*&^ your stereo. cause silly I'd get shocked.
Steves71, more of us have that problem than admit it. Mine makes it a point to come around for a roll at the one time I'm minding my own and perfectly happy. However, if I happen to be interested in a roll - good luck! Sometimes I think it's a game she plays with me...just to keep me off balance. ;)
this is from my girlfried. steve, i think you need a new girlfriend who can enjoy music as much as you do. there is nothing better than "rolling" around by the romantic glow of tubes. i love tunes and am interested in quality components myself, and enjoy listening more if i can choose the selections. either she needs to get over it, join the crowd, or get down the road. there are plenty of other quality women out here that are better able to deal with your passion. at least your not in a strip club drunk somewhere. julie.
When we purchased a new house I made sure that there was a finished basement that was absolutely sound proof. I claimed it as my listening space and termed it the "Den of Iniquity." I made it known that this was Daddy's space and that he would decide all matters of decor and local ground rules in this area. Previously listening had been a problem at times because of the intimate nature of our house. I expected to be a bit lonely in my new surroundings, but I have found the opposite to be true. Now that there is a place in the house where I am the sole and absolute authority on conduct and decor everyone wants to hang there (including my wife) because that is where the fun is. My entire family is becoming more interested in music. My daughter has taken up the cello. We all sing and dance together as a family to all sorts of music. Quite often my wife and I exercise vigorously in the "Den." My advice is to create your own space and then make it fun for the family to be there. Everyone's life will be richer and the rolls will be more frequent and possibly more enjoyable.
Sounds like the ole "you don't love me as much as you do your _____ (fill in the blank) syndrome".
Seriously, if you are constantly blowing her off for the gear, than you own it and need to decide if she really is a priority or not. If she is, then begin acting like it and give her some attention.
If you are not blowing her off and she is just being unreasonable, then it's to help her see that. This is not the easy part - The most significant change for me understanding you guys is reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I was actually given the assignment by my boyfriend early in our relationship.
Two main take aways for me
- guys don't multitask well at all (it's ok, we're terrible at directions) and not to go up and start a conversation when you're doing something. When we do, we get pissed because we think that you're not listening - well, you're NOT - you're still reading the paper or watching a program or listening to music, or whatever it was.
- guys need their "cave time" when you just need to tune out especially when you are trying to solve a problem. You don't want to talk about it, you don't need our help, you just want to be left alone for a while.
Can you get your girlfriend to read this book? Then, you can sit down with her and help her understand that she needs to give you your time alone if she is not into sitting down with you and respect that.
Can you get her to sit down with you? If so, let her pick out the music, get her in the sweet spot, wait on her hand and foot - get her a glass of wine, and teach her to listen, really listen. Make it an intimate experience (we love that- and no, intimacy doesn't always mean a roll in the hay, it means closeness, too) When she finally hears the sound staging and the imaging, she's gotta be hooked.
I'd like to thank everyone for taking time and sharing their thoughts on this subject. Many had me rolling on the floor laughing and quite a few hit home on a more serious note. My passion for listening to music was one that I usually shared alone. I'm now going to share this passion which I love so very much with the one I love so very much, my girlfriend. If possible, I know this can all be all the more rewarding.