I'm sure the mfg. cares and your contact with them to give feedback would be thanked and useful.
A few years back I wanted to purchase a certain brand of tuner. All of the dealers I had contacted, both in and out of state informed me that the tuner was no longer manufactured and none could be had. I contacted the manufacturer who informed me that the tuner was still in production, and, IN STOCK, but that I would have to go through my local dealer. No dealer would even order it for me, trying typically to sell me something else that they had in stock, from different manufacturers! I notified the company of the situation and they told me that there was nothing they could do about it, even after I begged them to give me ONE name of someone who would sell it to me! Go figure that one out.
Edesilva manufacturers want to sell gear as bad as you want to buy it. The way a dealers treats a sales rep will not reflect how polite or impolite they are to a customer. You should contact the manufacturer and let them know your experience with the dealer. They really have no way of knowing how their product is being represented to the customer.
Unfortunately there really isn't another good way of selling equipment. Buyers want someone who will service their gear, and offer them the ability to audition something before they buy (not in that order) withou the store these are not possible.
You could do a real service to the manufacturer by letting them know what happened. If it were you, wouldn't you want to know?
Some of your headaches do come from the policies of manufacturers while some come from lazy dealers.
The guys that sell out of their homes are often "trunk slammers" that have no investment in the company. Beware.
Some manufacturers and/or their distributors/importers are easy to work with. YBA, Kimber, Spendor, Parasound, and Von Shweikert come to mind. If you want to demo a product your dealer doesn't happen to have, these companies often have no problem letting the dealer borrow stuff. It does involve the dealer taking time and money to make it happen.
Many manufacturers also hessitate to tell the consumer much about their interactions with dealers to protect the dealers. When orders fall through the cracks, items are backordered, or billing issues arise dealers have to make some sort of excuse to the customer. If a manufacturer contradicts their dealer the dealer has egg on his face.
Manufacturers first priority is selling product.
Dealers are what facilitates manufacturers selling more product.
Dealers have to make money to stay in business.
There is a symbiotic relationship there.
Good manufacturers and good dealers still look out for the customer in hopes of repeat business if and only if the relationship with said customer allows both to make some proffit. If a customer wants a product at the same price it cost the dealer to get it to his door, the dealer has no reason to nurture the relationship. Same can be said of the relationship between manufacturers and dealers. If it is no longer profitable for one or the other what is the point? Sony and Yamaha are two manufacturers that most dealers can probably live without. Pain-in-the-ass dealers are often dropped by manufacturers too.
When I buy from a dealer it is someone who has been in business for several decades, and has substantial stock of items for demo. Of course this is no guarantee that he will be there forever, but it is some indication that he is overall a good outfit. I do not pay dealer price when the dealer does not offer dealer services. Lots of good stuff is available direct from the Mfr and priced accordingly.