It’s you.


I’m somewhat thick-skinned. Usually I’m the last to recognize I’m being insulted, maybe I’m just a little slow, whatever...

I’ve been a member for several years, and read a lot more than I post. Some of you have been so gracious and helpful, I can’t thank you enough. Some of you post your insights with an awesome sense of humor, it makes learning fun! 

I appreciate the people that host this site, it’s a great resource for our hobby.

Once in awhile, someone posts a question like, ‘How can we make Audiogon better?’, or something close.

Generally, the responses mention changes to the site format, criticize dealers that participate, etc. Some gentle souls mention things like ‘our behavior toward each other could be better’ - only to be told people need to toughen up! If they can’t take the heat, leave! 

Only the strong survive, right?

Wrong, it ain’t a tough undertaking, and there’s no good reason to suffer at the hands of people with poor online communication skills. The term audiophile does not strike fear in the hearts of men, it’s people that enjoy hifi. I doubt the National Guard is put on high alert during audio shows. 

It’s a hobby, it should be light and fun. This forum is the only way some interact. It is some people’s social network. I’m guessing some on here are shut ins, elderly, in poor health, and/or suffer from who knows what. Some have modest systems, but are proud of them. They are people, that lose spouses, dogs, jobs. They get cancer and they are afraid of not being able to pay their bills. Some are very rich and very lonely. Some are bullied at school, work, and home. 

But yet when they reach out, heaven forbid with a innocently uneducated question or comment, some of you take the opportunity to knock them down a notch, expose their ignorance, help them get tough, right? 

Most of the people on here are too nice to say anything, so they just post around and ignore your insults and disrespectful comments. 

Some of you poke your head in a discussion just to leave a comment criticizing the thread, or minimizing another’s opinion. Shoot one across the bow and on the next, just toughening people up. 

My money is on you coming from a point of weakness and building yourself up at the expense of others. There’s no telling what got you in that place, but please don’t make others suffer as a result of it. Remember what Thumper’s mother said. 

I’m a filthy hearted, scabby sinner, but I try,

So, please be nice and patient with the people on here. Don’t be the savage of a hifi site, go to a beer joint with bars on the windows, that’s the place to work that kink out...,
uncledemp
Thank you for that post.
Several times I've dipped into online audiophile groups (Facebook) or discussions (here) and found the water unpleasant, for the reasons you cite.  Finding information of value in between the clutter has been challenging.  Therefore I've dropped out.  In fact, I would not have seen this thread but for Audiogon marking it as one of the top five in my email.
Yet I look forward to monthly meetings of the Central Coast Audio Club, which is populated with knowledgeable, funny, kind and respectful human beings.  We listen, we talk, we debate.  There, we talk to other people.  Online, we talk to boxes filled with text ... boxes don't earn respect, apparently.
Immortal, yes I remember. Mortality has snapped into focus as Ive aged, it seemed like such a fuzzy possibility at one time, ha!

I play racquetball with a 27 yo several times a week. After playing for a couple of hours the other day, I asked if he was sore. He said ‘where?’, I said ‘all over!”

Hey, I’m not complaining, I’m thankful to be able to play and interact with that group of guys. 

Please send cool weather...
I was all knowing and immortal . Now, all I know is I’m becoming acutely aware of my own mortality.
Welcome, listening99, you appear to be new to the site. I hope you enjoy coming here, there are a lot of resources available.

I agree with your well written post, and I am certainly a work in progress. How can this be? I was omnipotent and perfect when I was in my twenties! 
Great movie, hard to believe it came out so long ago, time flies.

I listened to 70’s music through most of the 80’s, so I had to look up ‘Men Without Hats’! 

I’ve seen Lyle Lovett twice, what a great show.
Enjoying the banter, the playfulness.

One thing we face when people go "mean" is that negativity may be, for some/most (?), much more accessible than verbiage that illuminates the point with a lighter, perhaps inspiring, interested, encouraging, more intelligent, etc. touch; so when something seems "stupid," a longtime filter (tube?) is doing the work of interpretation - it could go back decades, even into youth - and because it's so reliable and apparently revealing of the truth, it can be difficult to recognize another possibility. We are too accustomed to it.

It's as if we are so used to one filter, we don't think about the possibility of installing another finer instrument. For some people, it's all the more inviting to "go negative" here, because there is very little apparent resistance (ohm). This is to say, the fullness of the anonymity factor is at play here... We send (amplify) our thoughts into the world with no awareness of the actual sound on the other side, the impact on the listener. This gives people a sense of false-freedom, as though there was no consequence to a statement that is sent with perhaps fairly forceful negative intention (?)... 

In my mind, it's actually quite possible to begin to influence the way that people perceive themselves here, but it will take real vigilance from those who have insight into the chemistry. Patience and vigilance, recognizing what works and what could do real harm, if that's what is at stake here. Is it? I think that's a real question for me... Sometimes I wonder if those who allow anger to reign over their expression are willing to challenge themselves to a new kind of chemical response...

The patience piece probably is necessary if a person is going to take this on at all, and thankfully patience is a plant that grows with proper attention and response. Maybe it's a muscle that grows with a certain amount of working out... Or...maybe I should be thankful for those who stress my patience muscle... and maybe some sort of synergy can build with others who can make sense of this kind of thing, as I'm suggesting... I'm sure there are excellent audio metaphors that capture the sound/electricity/damping, etc. of what I'm describing...

I don't know about you, but I actually see an interaction between the way I pay attention and my mood, my frustrations, etc. If I'm restless, I don't listen to my music as well. This is a real thing for me. I can use music to relax, but then it all goes much better if I'm relaxed and attentive BEFORE listening, because the quality of my listening is MORE IMPORTANT than most upgrades I might achieve... I'm suggesting that attention and patience and mood are fundamental not only to interactions on this platform, but also how I attend to my beautiful sound system... I would imagine some of you would not agree with that assessment (of my sound system), but then that's part of the beauty of our respective displacement ;-) and this forum is allows for the beauty and possibility of our combined interaction... Apparently, we are highly invested in a kind of intimate involvement with music and supporting equipment... isn't that interesting, the character of our intimacy interests...

One more thought... when it comes to the magnanimous and superlative descriptions that have, undoubtedly, drawn some of us into audiophile gear, along with the proof the gear itself provides, perhaps we can arouse interest in more refined reflection and responsiveness using the same tool.... the power of accurate, also poetical language! I find I 'get' better at it with any serious efforts I make... 
I did not know that either. Also, interesting song. I must say I prefer my man Lyle Lovett's 'Don't Touch My Hat'.
Nice one Carp.

Did you know January 15th is National Hat Day?

I did not.

Little more obscure but ....

Hats Off To The Bull.....
On an audio related note, what the world probably doesn't need is -
Men Without Hats.
No.
We were actually just there for 4 days for vacation to say we had been to Arkansas.
Lol.
Flew into Little Rock and drove down to Hot Springs.

Yes it was pretty neat place.
It took me quite a while to find a hat that both fitted correctly and I liked the look of on top of my golden locks......

Contrary to popular belief I actually have a small head as evinced by my motorcycle racing helmet being down at sz53 in a Shoei or Arai.

However I eventually found a nice black Fedora in a hat shop in Hot Springs, Arkansas of all places!

Funny old world.
Good looking hat. I forget where, (Texas I think) but I went in a hat maker with a buddy once. 

Pretty interesting experience. 
Its very simple Audiogon is a forum in regard mainly to matters of Audio and HiFi.  It should carry a Government Health Warning.....
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(Finally, a snide ran-dumb aside from a 'provocateur/troll/(perhaps, not-so) smart-az....) ;)

'Another day in the life of AG.... We have met the Enemy, and They is Us.' 

I read more than I post or comment; much to y'alls' benefit/relief no doubt.

When the 'OP' posits a serious query, there's the initial serious responses; this is Good.

Things degenerate when 'alternative views/tastes/preferences start a brushfire that takes the initial subject into 'no minds' land' with the page count heading towards a 'slap fight' of posts...."Obviously, 'X' doesn't know nada about 'Y'...." etcetera, ad infinitum....

This is Bad.  We all recognize it.  We're all guilty to varying degrees.

If one remembers to take a dose of "LightenUp", I think we can all 'live' with each other in these environs...

MHO:  Most issues I suspect can be chalked up to room acoustics and/or the engineering of a particular bit of music, beyond ones' choice of how to reproduce it.  I hear more variations in that regard in what I hear...but, again, that's just Me; obviously flawed, just as opinionated as anyone else....

OK....back to our regularly scheduled program....;) 
I was always partial to the Irish flat caps myself but go for the nondescript trim brim hat when out in the sunned, yes, it's odd that I only notice it when it comes off after that walk.🤔

All the best,
Nonoise
Great question! My hair will tell the tail long after my ballcap comes off.

But that’s not the hat I fancy and long for, I long for the snazzy hat, the bowler, fedora...

Speaking of hats, I created a knotted mess with my baitcaster today the size of a medium sized tumbleweed, fwiw.
Nonoise,

I agree with you, times have changed. I recognize your user name, and I appreciate the things I’ve learned reading your posts and threads in which you participated.

Speaking of hats, I’ve always wanted to be a hat guy. Can’t pull it off, but oh how I want it. Ha, some things are not meant to be!
There used to be a time when we all wore different hats. There was also a time when that phrase was known and appreciated.

We wore one hat when with family, and a different one when with friends. The same went for work, play, late night soirees, vacations, etc. 

The advent of the internet seems to have reduced the number of hats we wear, maybe even whittling it down to just one.

Having more hats to wear gave us different avenues to express ourselves and escape the constrictions of life. That old internet we all rely on now as a means to communicate has bypassed a lot of the interactions (and hats) we used to wear, and seems to have severely limited our ability to interact.

I would say "hats off to all" here who expressed themselves, but that would go counter to what I just said and hoped would help. 

We need more hats.

All the best,
Nonoise
Beach forecast. Mostly sunny with scattered afternoon snarks. 🏄‍♂️ 🦈 🦈
I'm reminded of the age old bumper sticker "Mean People Suck".  I strive to not be part of the Mean People Clan, no matter what the topic.  Doesn't make for a better existence.
That’s what you said last year. You just can’t help yourself. Do I have the Kavorka? 😀
SIGH......
I refuse to waste further time with you GK.
It would truly only prove the OPS,point quite succinctly.
Quit while you THINK you are ahead.
Over and out.
Now we return to your regular scheduled programming.
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GK, I believe Uber WAS being humorous. Man, I'm telling you- you've got to lay off those Saturday night Shirley Temples! At least cut it back a bit, lest our only recourse be an intervention.....
And I think that proved my point exactly.
Well done GK......
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uberwaltz
Just to prove it....... GK, at least I have a mother..........

>>>>>That may very well be true. But you have zero sense of humor. You get your panties in a twist 🕺🏻 at the drop of a hat. No offense.
I’ve never seen it, but It is interesting.

I don’t want to put words in your mouth- it’s unsanitary! (Sorry for the silly joke!)

But I assume you attached the reading to communicate a point or opinion.

What is the takeaway?
While the expected response will be 'this has already been covered', I would assume the following is required reading (gawking cover to cover) and has pictures and schematics as expected:

https://americanradiohistory.com/Archive-High-Fidelity/50s/High-Fidelity-1951-Summer.pdf

In short, nothing has changed for better or for worse in almost 70 years and in our world 'entropy' is the only certainty.

From page 3:

"The Reader's Forum will appear for the first time. There will be plenty of space for you to air your views and comments, and to toss in a hand grenade or brickbat if you choose. The names of the writers will be published, so that everyone will know who said what."

Among other gems (page 9):

"THE FORUM:   Here's the place to sound off about sound ... about music ... about whatever is on your mind ... about high fidelity or HIGH- FIDELITY. Here's the place to pass along to other audio -philes Our thoughts and suggestions on records, music, broadcasting, and, of course, audio. Whether there's something that should be done, or shouldn't, or if you just want to start an argument, The Forum is the place where you can make your ideas known to the largest group of audio enthusiasts gathered into the readership of any magazine."

And on page 8, "AS THE EDITOR SEES IT" whereby an 'audio-phile' is defined in print.
Careful, not to be become that which you despise.
I come here seeking free advice, and if I have to wade thru some muck in order to find a pearl of wisdom, so be it.
Yessir, I agree. I’m sure I have a little mud on my skirt, too.

Keep moving forward and learning  is the best plan I have.

Best-
gary
I think it is entirely possible that we now do have people who visit various forums just to act out in ways they know they could never get away with out in the real world.

Agreed I would expect and hope to have a much more mature audience here than say video gaming forums and for the very most part I think we do.

I am as guilty as any here for being stupid at times but I do not believe have yet brought outright mean to the table ( Sure someone will correct me ... Lol ).

You have to have differing personality or it would be a VERY boring forum indeed but there are limits to behavior which do get crossed at times.