I wanna hear some "audio" jokes...and

bring me a bucket of decibels would ya?

...how do you make a rock guitar player to stop playing?
--Give him a sheet music!
...what is the difference between viola and violin?
--Burns longer.

for more audio jokes please follow the cable posts, posts about tweaks and how other different junk changes the sound here on audiogon.

rok-jok:

a heavy metal guitar player comes home to his girlfrend after performance heavily intoxicated with drugs and alcohol and feeling real bad.
his girlfriend is trying to help him to become better offers:
--honey maybe you wish to listen to Iron Maiden?
--ohh, ohh, i still feel bad!
--or maybe i'll play you some Slayer?
--ohh, ohh, i still feel bad!
--or i can even play you some Sepulture if you wish?
--ohh, ohh, i still feel bad!
--a..ah! i'll play you some Ricky Martin may be you'll through up!?

to BAT or not to BAT that is the question!

This joke is somehow related to many our audio problems!

A jew comes to see a Rabbi and complains
--Rabbi, what should I do? My chicken are dying one by one everytime!
Rabbi seeks the answer in talmud and replies:
--Try to wash them all in ocean water.
So Jew appreciated rabbi, went home and washed chicken with ocean water. After a couple of days he comes back to rabbi with the same problem:
--I washed off my chicken with ocean water but they're still dying!
Rabbi seeks the answer in talmud and replies:
--Try to feed them with the fresh radish.
So Jew appreciated rabbi, went home and fed his chicken with the fresh radish. After a couple of days he comes back to rabbi...:
--Rabbi, my chicken are all dead!
--Oh, I'm so sorry but I still have so many great ideas!

A SILENT JOKE(no audio video only!)

A man and his wife are having a silent break(probably due to the expencive stereo acquired)and communicate only through written notes.

Once man writes a note to his wife:

Darling,
Please wake me up at 5am. I've got to catch the plain to Europe tomorrow. Good Night!

Next morning the man gets up at 9am frustrated that he actually missed his flight and finds under his pillow the following note:

Good Morning Darling!
It's already 5am
Please, wake up!
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POWER SUPPLY:

Two electicians are fixing the power line climbed on the electric columns and see the near-by old lady is passing-by.

One of the guys sais:

Mam, would you please help us to pick up that wire on the ground?
And the lady helped and gave this wire to one of the electrician.

After that the electrician replies:

I told you, this was a zero wire!

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TWEAKIN' ISSUES:

A blondie cannot start her malfunctioned Mercedes 500.
Another blondie comes by in her Jaguar and trying to help her friend to start Mercedes:
--Did you wipe your headlights and tail lights?
--Yes.
--Are they shiny?
--Yes.
--Did you wipe your dashboard and seats?
--Yes.
--Are they shiny?
--Yes.
--Did you wipe your rims
--Yes.
--Shiny?
--Yes.
--I regret, but I can't help you than :=(

Riddle: How will you see Iraq after war?

--Three parts Regular, Plus and Premium.

Why only a few percent of woman hog to audio-HEAVEN?
Because otherwise it would be audio-HELL:-)

Eh, Whattahell I'm in the mood to joke:

MAN AND WOMAN ISSUES.

**
In love triangle there is always one corner flat.

**
-Do you suffer from erotic dreams?
-No doc only they bring me pleaseure.

**
-Tell me darling, did you pretend this time again?
-No this time I realy sleapt.

**
My wife was born under the Earthsign. I was born under the Watersign. Together we blend dirt.