How NOT to sell an item on Audiogon

Lately I've been doing a lot of shopping on our favorite website, Audiogon, and I have noticed a few trends in ads for gear here posted by our fellow members. So, I thought it might be interesting to point out a few things that I see way too often. I'm not trying to provoke anyone, after all we are not professional advertisers, I'm just trying to show things from a shopper's point of view, in a tongue in cheek kind of way. So if you are offended, then loosen your tie a bit, and don't be so serious.

1.Don't worry about photos. No one really wants to see your item anyway. They trust you so no one suspects that you could be hiding the fact that your gear is beat up and scratched to hell. Or if you have photos, but don't know where they are, go ahead and start your listing now, with the promise of photos later. After all, first impressions aren't that important, they'll come back and look again next week since they have nothing else to do. And just because you're asking thousands for that old amp is no reason to move it, or even wipe the dust off of it, just take a picture of it stuffed back into that dark cabinet, as long as they see the outline of the gear no reason you should be bothered to show the back or sides. It's only ten thousand dollars, do those details really matter?

2. Now for a description, yes it's much more important to wax poetic about how much you love this gear, than it is to actually post its specs. I mean, if a shopper is serious, they can take 30 minutes of their time to search the web to see if your amp is a good match for their speakers. It's not like they don't have a hundred other amps to look at, after all, the sheer name of your amp demands respect! So save the digital ink and just post a link to the specs! So all the shopper has to do is leave this website and go to another, and find his way back and find his place where he left off, I'm sure he won't skip it and move on to the next listing.

3. Reviews! Yes your gear has a glowing review that everyone should read! So just include the entire 6 page review right in your description! None of the other 6 reviews from other magazines are important, as long as they see this one! And without your help, no one who really wants to read a review on your gear could find them on their own.

4. It's important to identify yourself, especially if you are a high end salon! Go on for 6 paragraphs about what a great store you have, and all the brands you sell, no need to even mention the item you listed at all! The title is explanation enough.

5. Terms, yes we want to let them know your asking price. So let's also state the obvious just in case, so those pesky treasure hunters don't bother you! No one will want to trade a gold brick for your gear, so be sure to state "No trades". And be sure to state that you don't like low ball offers, those low ballers are just looking for an ad that doesn't state this important information, don't worry no one will think it condescending. And make sure the only payment you will honor is a bank wire, it's a heck of a lot of trouble to surf over to PayPal and open an account, just because it's the accepted currency of online sales is no reason to buy into the hype. And be sure to ask for more of a percentage to accept PayPal than they actually take, might as well make a few extra bucks right? In fact, adding that few percent to your "must have" price is a lot of math so just ask the buyer do it for you.

6. Shipping, we want to be sure we get paid for shipping, so just overstate the cost of shipping by $500 and then mention somewhere in the description that you will refund any unused money after the deal is complete. After all, you've given no one a reason to distrust you. Going to the UPS shipping calculator is a lot of trouble, so save yourself the time.

7. Lastly, you must threaten to not entertain any questions you do not feel are worthy of your time. Why waste your time telling a perspective buyer how tall your speakers are when they could google it and look it up themselves? After all, it's just money, who cares if it takes another two months for an interested person to enquire?

I'm sure I've left a few things out, but if you follow these rules, you are sure to waste yours and everyone else's time with an ad that won't sell, unless that is your goal. The wife said you've got to sell that gear! "Sorry dear, they just wouldn't sell?", well if that's the case, then I've got you covered, these simple rules will certainly help you not make a sale. Although, Audiophiles are a tenacious bunch, you might make a sale anyway! If your gear really is what another must have, they can be hard to turn off.

Before you get offended and bent all out of shape, this was just for your reading entertainment, if anyone you know resembles any of the people I've described, it's purely coincidental, and no animals were harmed in the writing of this post. All silliness aside, I have purchased many pieces from Audiogon and talked to many of its members, and I have had nothing but the best of experiences, all very nice folks. And before every purchase I have made, I always ask a simple question of the seller. If they are too high and mighty to answer my simple question, I shop elsewhere. There have been a few, but most were more than polite and courteous, and made a sale! Selling on Audiogon is not hard, just put yourself in the buyer's shoes, and make an ad that you would like to see if you were shopping for such an item.

Ok, what did I miss guys?
Funny and you make some good points.
Alpha_gt, most of this resonated with me. I mean dust on the equipment ... come on. Do you try to sell a car without detailing it? And what is it with pictures? Is it that hard to take decent pictures? Don't you notice that your pictures are too dark or too blurry before you post them? Make sure there's plenty of light. Jeez, you don't have to be Albert Porter to take pictures good enough for an ad.

And, "If you're reading this ad, you already know everything about the equipment so I don't need to tell you anything." You know what they say about first impressions ... and my first impression is that you're lazy.
Excellent post Russ.
Thanks for the good laugh, much of this is so true.
Selling should always involve buyer pick up, demonstrated operation ability of the item and payment in cash. All else is 'risky business'.
And be sure not to dust off the amplifier before you take flash photos.
Yes Alpha, You've missed one point mentioning that
Audiogon is the best place to sell your gear on the internet or is it really your favorite website?
Now you've gone and done it Alpha_gt. You have set the bar so high that you may hold a record that may never be broken. It will be no easy feat for anyone to ever be able to get their tongues so far into their cheeks. Nice post. Gotta love the truth(s).
I just love when a guy/gal post photos of his/her very expensive speakers either sideways or upside down.
Is it really that hard to "rotate" a picture before you post it & put it up for sale?

8. By all means, misspell the name and model of your item. Write "Theil CSS2.4". After all, you don't want people to find your item via a search of the manufacturer's name. Plus it makes you look really familiar with your item, and gives your buyers confidence that they're dealing with an expert.


10. Don't limit yourself to the brand and the model but include other editorial comments casting aspersions on other brands and touting your own item. Also include information on other items you've listed. This really captures the eye and makes your item easy to see.
Since you are an expert with four recorded transactions on the website I can only say that, as a group, we are pretty evenly split on the idea of listing specs in ads. Please see the thread addressing this here:

My apologies in advance for having wasted the time of members here with my non-conforming ads over the years and my apologies to those that traded in the print publication AudioMart, which preceded the invention of the internet for wasting their time as well.
There have been a few pieces I would have pursued but for the ad, which screamed " it won't be worth dealing with this problem child seller." For most stuff, it is a buyers market. Sellers do well to act accordingly.
I am trying to type, but; laughing uncontrollably is making it difficult.

How about listing: "Best Ever"', "Worlds Best", "Best of Show", "World Killer", "Best ____ in the World" - Wow the entire planet? Gosh, even though the item costs thousands of dollars...I gotta buy this up right now if the ad says its the best in the World!

Of course the average audiophile spends no time researching an item before they plunk down big bucks. And if its listed as a smoke free, child free environment; well that makes all the difference in the WORLD! Now if it listed in an environment where habitual bong use is occurring, that really has my interest. the satire.
(9) Only used once by a virgin princess...
Use generic pictures lifted from the manufacturer's website and/or only a picture of the shipping box. At all costs be sure not to specify which of the three factory colors the item you're selling comes in.

Rate the item a 7/10 but be entirely silent on the issue of why you gave it that score. If pressed, make sure only to use the phrase "slight blemish" without elaborating further.
"This won't last long".... After the ad has run three times.
" Local pickup only ".............
Drive to the spot in the woods where they thought the Lindberg baby was. Leave the the cash under a stone and your trunk open. When you return your 12,000 amp will be there. No PayPal fee.
"Handcrafted by (insert name)"... pathetic attempts to elevate designers to some status beyond question,unless of course,"inside chassis still retains cigarette ash from the legendary Tim Paravacini" ....Yeah,he blamed it on the dog.
Can't tell you how many times I have come home and found my dog smoking a cigar and playing records.
I'm glad most of you got a good laugh out of it! To be honest, I was concerned that the moderator might not post it. But, I figured nothing ventured nothing gained. Yes Audiogon is my favorite sight, if only by the amount of time spent on it. I usually scan items for sale, or looking at this forum as I fall to sleep every night, dreaming of my dream system. And thanks Viridian, I looked at your post on listing specs, and was surprised at the even division of those who did, and didn't think them necessary. But I agree, at least the main specs. If you leave out the slew rate, ok, but at least tell me how big the device is.

I had an issue with my login, there were areas of the website I couldn't get to, and working with Audiogon's exceptional customer support they fixed it! But, in doing so I lost my history, so, nothing showing more than a year and a half ago or more. And kudos to the support team, they really are top notch and worked hard for me. Knowledgable guys. But that's why I only show 4 purchases in my history.

The other reason and another large peeve of mine is those who do not report their sale to Audiogon. I hate to be a tattle so I haven't reported anyone, but I have made at least 3 purchases that I got no feedback for, as the seller didn't report the sale. Bad form, greed is ugly.

But thanks for all the kind words, and extra offenses that I didn't catch! Great stuff!
Wow how helpful.
When listing cables of any type, be sure to describe how mellifluous they are, but omit any reference to their length either in the title or the description. Based on the photos alone (coiled only, please), audiophiles like a good guessing-game.

When listing any component, include three or four loving close-ups of the front panel, but do not even hint at what might be on the back. People on this site are not at all interested in exactly how it hooks up, the voltage, serial number, etc.
Enjoyed this post, Thanks!
I always laugh when sellers describe how great the item is that they are trying to sell.

If it is that great, then why sell it?

I guess I am trying to say that I would appreciate honesty from the seller on this point.

Otherwise very humorous thread.

Some translations from Audiogon ads, feel free to add more:

"Rarely seen for sale" -- (I was the only one dumb enough to buy one.)

"My reference piece of gear" -- (It was the most I could afford)

"Lightly used in my second home" -- (I don't have a second home)

"Highly rated" -- (by me, so why am I selling it?)
Dsper: The Item may still be great. I may need the money, the space or I just bought something to replace that item. It may be a smaller piece due to space considerations. I may have to sell due to a divorce or breakup (actually seen this happen). Summer in California and drought conditions where it is very hot and tube amps really aren't helping. Nothing wrong with saying it is great. If it is, it is.

I may still have to sell that great piece.

Unless, I can find some way to check the serial number or if the seller shows a copy of the receipt with the serial number on it, showing a picture of the back of the item with the serial number really doesn't help me. Unless I'm missing something here.

I do need to see how it can be hooked up, so a picture of the rear does help me.

I do have to say, that this post is funny to read, but I hope most aren't really serious in their responses. I mean, If I was really interested in purchasing XYZ amp, and enough information wasn't present in the add, I would contact the seller through Audiogon and ask questions or request further information.

I typically take pictures of my stuff for insurance purposes anyway. That is usually front and back (showing the serial number).

To sell something, I try to take pictures of the front, back, and sides as close as I can get. I may post the add first before taking the pictures and posting them later. Not the end of the world.

I'm not comfortable with showing the serial number. I don't know why, just not comfortable with that. too many scam artist out there I guess.

Another way to look at this problem is to propose the ideal ad. For me, this would include the following: Age, real audiogon condition rating, good pictures, reason for selling, Links to reviews are fine, if that is something AG permits.
Sounds like an Emotiva sales pitch! The truth is the only missing link.
Reasons for selling I get a kick out of:

Moving to a much smaller space, the closet.

Dog just had a litter of puppies.

Wife said no.

Used with only the best ancillary equipment, it has a brain with a memory.

Oh, unforeseen financial difficulty, didn't expect that after I forked out 20K, gee, now I must take a bath.

What I'd like to see one day:

Please, buy this over-priced piece-a-crap, I'm selling it over 60% off so I can buy a better sounding piece for 1/10 the price!
Thanks for all the positive responses, I was concerned that the moderator might not post it! But glad to see you guys had had some fun with it. And I enjoyed all the extra stuff I missed in my original post!

But while we had a laugh poking fun, it was my original intent to help folks create better ads to sell their stuff. But if I had written it that way, no one would have read it! Life is always better if we keep our sense of humor.
It's a bit off putting to see how the ads have evolved here on A'gon, along with the demands as to how business is conducted while at other sites it' still done the same old refreshing way.


All the best,