How do you get the "real" feel of music?

Without being a defeatist, let's just say that you will never be able to recreate in your home the experience of live music, it's just a fact of life. The better the system, the smaller the gap, but a gap will always remain. A better system, unfortunately, means more money. The good news is that the amounts bandied about around here are greatly exaggerated. Strange that you focus on percussion as being what sets real vs. recorded apart for you. I agree with you, though I know of other parameters were even the best systems fall short of the real thing. When I changed to a tube preamp, I felt the cymbals lacked that sharp, brassy sound on the initial attack and then some of the shimmer as the sound fades out. One thing that I can say is that you need volume to approach the effect of live music. For that you need a system that is dynamic, in the limited and true sense of the word, that is a system that can play at a realistic level the loud passages without distress. I would start with the speakers. Get the most efficient, best sounding speakers you can afford. If you go shopping though, don't be too impressed by tizzle, it will, in all likelihood, get to you after a while. Stay away from processors: they may boost the treble, but will surely add to your problems by introducing distortion, ringing and phase problems. Make sure the path from your speakers to your listening position is not obscured by furniture. Removing the speaker grille can help, if simply psychologically. Make sure that the speaker height is correct by using proper stands, repositioning them, so that the tweeter is at ear level when you are seated at your normal listening position. Make sure that your room is not overstuffed with, well, stuff, especially upholsthered furniture that can make it too dead. In closing, I have found that big, powerful, good quality power amps do wonders for percussion, my theory being that they can deliver the burst of energy required to properly handle both the thumping bass drum, the sharp attack of a snare drum and the metallic sound of cymbals, especially when hit closer to the centre, without smearing them into one, mass. BTW the other thing that clearly distinguishes live from recorded, to me, is the way notes just appear and disappear in live music: I always get the impression that even great systems are a step behind in terms of this. The initial attack and the decay of various instruments is simply not the same. Planars (some) seem to get that better, but at the cost of certain problems elsewhere. The other parameter that is given short shrift, is the ambiance and the need for more channels, but that's a different kettle of fish. Enjoy the music. Regards.