Help with system overhaul What would you do....

Frustrated with hodge podge set up.
I presently have b&w htm2 center 602's l/r, marantz sr5004, paradigm seismic 110 sub, oppo bdp83.
My plan was to get b&w 805's l/r and rid of the 602s then upgrade avr to rotel 1560 and live happily ever after. well all that came to a screaching halt when I went to a totem dealer and heard the forest and the sig ones for the first time. I was never happy with the sound that my eclectic components made, so I read and read lots of reviews and threads here on audiogon about favorite speakers ect...
I really liked the Totems so now I just have to pick the right speaker for me, simple? its not.
The other speaker that stood out in the reviews as a worthy contender for the Totem, was the Merlins tsm mmi according to some of you but unfortunatly I never heard the Merlins..see what I mean.
The good thing is that my earlier frustrations gave way to total confusion, is that good? now I'm really frustrated.
At the dealer, The Totem forest were hooked up to an Arcam avr400(90w per)sounded great, the bass out of the speaker was tight and precise, I was very impressed with the Arcam's power the only attribute I have to judge sounds is that I'm a musician that loves and recognize great sound.
My plan is to get an Arcam avr500/600.
I love the totem signature one but dont mind spending more so that I dont have to upgrade again and again, I was interested in getting the Totem "The one" which had great reviews by some of you. I also want to upgrade my sub to possibly an REL R528 the dealer said that if hooked up to main speakers it will enhance the speaker's mid range (the sub was my idea so not sure).
My family room is almost square 20x19 12-14 feet ceiling (slanted)I have an open floor plan.
As you can see I need help.
I will get rid of all my present equipment except for the oppo.
What would you do.
Thank you
Roger