Help my speakers are farting,,,,

I gotta go with the other guys on this one. I think your girlfriend has a ventriloquist farting talent and is trying to blame it on the speakers. If you didn't have an audio system, she'd probably be trying to blame it on your dog. And if you don't have one, then of course it would be someone or something while the TV was one.
I think you should sell tickets and beer for a session of that and could probably pay for your next pair of speakers with the proceeds. Get her on Dave Letterman!

Me further thinks the speaker AND girlfriend acquisition should follow the same logic.

With speakers....just find out if they have the "farting option" installed, when you listen to them at your dealer. Then choose accordingly

With a new potential girlfriend, suggest your completely FORGET the "First Date Fart Hold" approach.
Just tell her that if she can't laugh at the campfire scene in "Blazing Saddles" or the family table scene in "The Nutty Professor", then she CAN'T be around you!
If THAT (farting) IS a DEALBREAKER, better to find out immediately and save yourself the cost of a few dinners and better yet your time! And that savings allows you to invest your time in finding someone WITH a sense of humor!

And if you find yourself in the position of having already PAID for dinner, without having FIRST being aware of her attitude, if it's negative, PU-LEEEAAAASSSSEEEE just get her to pull the ole sore finger BEFORE she eats her entre. You'll SAVE the cost of desert and coffee AND have a take-home item for yourself or your dog!

BUT....if she grabs a pen and writes an olympic scoring number (6.0 being perfect!) and holds it up for all to see, then you've got a KEEPER!