Help my speakers are farting,,,,

I have a pair of mono tube amps hooked up to my speakers, and according to my girlfriend they are making farting noises, which I have to concur with, I do have a cheater plug installed, which took care of the hum, so I haven`t a clue as to why the noises, This is something that just started, there been no changes to my system, please help,
Have you ever noticed that women state that they don't pass gas? Maybe she's just blaming your speakers? First have her lay off the Taco's. Try to slip her a Beno, & see if it's the speakers, or not? Secondly, pick up the DVD "Harold & Kumar go to White Castle" as it has a odd special featurette all about farting sound effects! One crazy ass ten-minute feature on, “The Art of Fart.” If this doesn't work call in one young, & one old priest? Good Luck! ;0)~
Women dont fart , they poot........ but remember guys , two poots equal a fart ... so if you hear two...scatter!! RF
On a serious note: could be that your AC is polluted, and if the fridge turns on, it can cause noise in your amps. Same goes for lighting. On the other hand, there might be something wrong in your preamp, so listen if it occurs when the preamp is on/off. Also listen if it occurs with both mono amps. If it's just one, that one should also be checked.
It is almost certainly the tubes in your amps (or tubes elsewhere in your system, if any). Another term for the noise is "motorboating".

With the amps turned off and unplugged, remove and then reinstall the tubes. That is often all it takes.

Good luck.
I gotta go with the other guys on this one. I think your girlfriend has a ventriloquist farting talent and is trying to blame it on the speakers. If you didn't have an audio system, she'd probably be trying to blame it on your dog. And if you don't have one, then of course it would be someone or something while the TV was one.
I think you should sell tickets and beer for a session of that and could probably pay for your next pair of speakers with the proceeds. Get her on Dave Letterman!
Is there any odor eminating from around your speakers? Sometimes speakers just impersonate "sneakers" and cut some pretty nasty cheese when you're not looking. I'm sure that you've heard the saying that "these speakers stink"...they actually do!!! Some poor quality sourcing makes them build up back pressure in their chambers and eventually they just got to let er rip.
Ask your girl friend to fart above 200 hz, so you can tell where the sound (or smell) is coming from! :)

(I bet you didn't think you would be getting all of this fun stuff when you wrote your post, did ya!)
Just as a test for this situation, try pulling your girlfreind's finger with the stereo off! She may be forced to confess her little secret.
The year is barely over two months old, and Audiogon already has its Thread Of The Year!

Great suggestions!
Magnepanmike, Thanx as your "Ask your girl friend to fart above 200 hz" post brought tears to my eyes from laughter!
This thread is the greatest thing that happened to me all day.

Speaking of farting, tomorrow im getting the H pipe replaced with an X pipe with 3 inch exhaust catback straightpipes with chrome tips on my 2004 Mustang GT. No Mufflers baby.

Its gonna be so goddamn loud i can fart with my girl in the car all i want, all i gota do is rev the engine each time i feel like relaxing. LOL
I swear, when I was in college, three of my friends and I could fart in harmony. I was the bass, dammit.
Light a match in front of your speaker. If the resulting flame front exceeds a foot in length, it's time to investigate your upstream components. RFI [Rancid Fart Interference] may be at the root of it.

Slappy, you must eat a very natural diet, if just a loud car is enough to mask your intestinal emissions. Mustangs, sound goooood!
Your Girlfriend isn't by some chance Britney Smears? Was she listening to her "Oops I Farted Again" song from her cd album "Another Stinker", on your system? ;0)~

If not CLICK on Britney Smears Music Video "LINK" Below.......

P.S. Gunbei, Forget the RFI, BEWARE of the SBD!;f=11;t=000009
In general, unlike us guys women have amazing bodily control when their significant others are present. It's funny when they get too relaxed and "forget" we're there and crank one out hillbilly style. "That came out out of you baby?"
Sounds like your speakers may be bloated in the bass or have port "wind noises".
Hey all, what is the exact resonance frequency and frequency response of most farts?
Gunbei, that reminded my of a buddy of mine who was always joking to his friends when they first start dating a girl.

He says at first you are on the "First Date Fart Hold"

As time goes on you can get off of the First Dat Fart Hold and upgrade your situation to the "Slow release Program".

Sooner or later the relationship will grow untill you are back to "Cheese the breeze as you please", Then, you know she loves you.
Without getting too personal, how critical is port diameter and depth when tuning for the most melodic farts? Should one consider the Qms, Qts or Vas of said fart?
Best laughs ever.LOL.I am in tears .Gunbei the one with the hillbilly had me on the floor!!!
Great guys
Slappy, In the Philadelphia area there's a Meteorologist named Cecily, who is on Action News. Her First Husband, & Her used to play a Bedtime Game called the "Dutch Oven Game". In a Radio interview she mentioned all the rules. One would go under the covers to see if it was possible to guess what the other ate that day? I guess one night there was something overly foul, as they filled for a divorce! Your "First Date Fart Hold", reminded me of it, & as a single again dating guy, here's a new game to amaze chicks with your hidden talent? ;0)~
1.Sounds like your speakers may just have excellent bass extension and "move alot of air".LOL.
2.Would the amount you can hold a fart back without others hearing it be considered the "damping factor"? Or, would that be the resistance or impedance of the farter? Did not know that you could rate a fart in ohms!
3.Don't strike a match around your speakers when this is occuring, your listening room could potentially explode!
4.You don't fill your loudspeaker enclosures with beans instead of lead-shot do you?
5. You speakers must be MALE and have Big Drivers, since they don't seem to care to Let 'ER Rip!
6. Have you tried running a light up your port to see if you can find a problem?
Sorry guys...I could not resist adding to this hilarious thread! I have laughed so much that its not funny!LOL!
Actally, a Dutch Oven is when you let loose a big stinker in bed and then pull the sheets over her head till she passes out from the smell or screams mercy. Hmmm....honey, I'll let you out if you'll let me buy those monoblocks I've had my eye on.
Have you tried room placement, with your girlfriend that is. Maybe you need to move her away from the back wall, or have her stand "toed in". Does she wear "spike" heels?
Me further thinks the speaker AND girlfriend acquisition should follow the same logic.

With speakers....just find out if they have the "farting option" installed, when you listen to them at your dealer. Then choose accordingly

With a new potential girlfriend, suggest your completely FORGET the "First Date Fart Hold" approach.
Just tell her that if she can't laugh at the campfire scene in "Blazing Saddles" or the family table scene in "The Nutty Professor", then she CAN'T be around you!
If THAT (farting) IS a DEALBREAKER, better to find out immediately and save yourself the cost of a few dinners and better yet your time! And that savings allows you to invest your time in finding someone WITH a sense of humor!

And if you find yourself in the position of having already PAID for dinner, without having FIRST being aware of her attitude, if it's negative, PU-LEEEAAAASSSSEEEE just get her to pull the ole sore finger BEFORE she eats her entre. You'll SAVE the cost of desert and coffee AND have a take-home item for yourself or your dog!

BUT....if she grabs a pen and writes an olympic scoring number (6.0 being perfect!) and holds it up for all to see, then you've got a KEEPER!

Speaker Farting Lab White Papers, & Test!!!