I believe that Thomas August Darnell Browder (AKA August Darnell, AKA Kid Creole) has a lock on this competition. At the moment, my personal favorite is:
"Kiss Me Before The Light Changes"
"Several Species Of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict"-Pink Floyd (Ummagumma)
"How can I miss you if you won't go away?", Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks!
"You broke my Heart and I broke your Jaw" Bobby and Sylvia for the 70's
Best album title: "what were once vices are now habits" Doobie Bros.
A very smelly grubby little oik
The dog the dog hes at it again
Nine feet underground
Finger F.O.C by Friends Of Carlotta.
Is that "You Broke My Heart so I Busted Your Jaw" by Spooky Tooth, or a different song?
Then there are the Dandy Don Meredith country candidates:
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"
"My wife ran off with my best friend and I miss him"
Most of the Zappa titles are pretty good.
Roll me up and smoke me
"Alto Rhapsody" -- Johannes Brahms
Martykl, that is a different song which I think May have inspired Spooky Tooth. It was a different genre more folksy humor. I just remember a friend had it on a 45 and played it all the time, regardless of protests!
I did remember the Spooky Tooth song but couldn't remember who did it.
Bobby and Sylvia did a song called "You Broke My Heart And I Broke Your Jaw"
Spooky Tooth had an album called "You Broke My Heart, So I Busted Your Jaw".
Everytime I hear or read about that song I get it mixed up with Harry Nilsson's "You're Breakin' My Heart". Now that's a relationship ender for sure...
Yes, Zappa, like "You are What You Is".
Junior Kimbrough, "Most Things Haven't Worked Out"
"Lonely at the Bottom, Too" Tim O'Brien
"It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long"
"Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road" ... Louden Wainwright III.
How come my dog don't bark when you come around? Dr. John
I hate every bone in your body but mine - Poison
"I'm a cranky old Yank, in a clanky old tank, on the street of Yokohama, with my boogie-woogie mama, doin' those beat-o, beat-o flat on my feet-o Hirohito blues" by Hoagy Carmichael.
"LET'S HAVE A WAR" by FEAR.
The One Eyed Trouser Snake Rumba / Humble Pie
You ain't no street walkin' mama but I sure love the way you strut your stuff / Taj Mahal
"I've Been Flushed from the Bathroom of Your Heart" - Johnny Cash
"You're the Reason Our Kids are So Ugly" - Loretta Lynn
"I Married Her Just Because She Looks Like You" - Lyle Lovett
"If the Phone Don't Ring, It's Me" - Jimmy Buffett
Sweat From My Balls - CB4. Great song too.
Whose makin love to your old lady while you were out makin love
I married her just because she looks like you
Ct0517: Cool! Good to see you here.
I think there's a Wilco song that needs to be called out...
(You're wanted by the police and) My Wife Thinks You're Dead. - Jr. Brown
How about an album title: "I started out with nothing and I still got most of it left"....Seasick Steve
There have been several songs and albums with the title:
"Laika Come Home." Can anyone tell me who did the original (LONG before the Gorillaz).
"I Promise Not to Come in Your Mouth," an instrumental song by Frank Zappa.
"Take an old cold tater (and wait)" Amusing
What about: "If I Said You Have a Beautiful Body (Would You Hold it Against Me)" by the Bellamy Brothers.
"Bring your daughter to the slaughter" by Iron Maiden
"Miles Davis - Bill Evans Reunion In The Sky" by Ron DiSalvio. What a song title, what a thought.
Another Zappa entry: An instrumental ballad called "I promise not to come in your mouth."
Hoosier Hotshots, I Like Bananas (Because They Have No Bone)
Not a title, but the previous entry reminded me of the first time I heard "New Age Girl", by Dead Eye Dick. She won't eat meat, but .... I laughed.
Some titles by the Fugs come to mind.
'Prelude to a Kiss' by Duke Ellington
"Thoughts of a Dying Atheist"
"The Last Cartographer of Dreams" - Indigolab
(Thought you might enjoy that one, Mapman)
Mapman: To your post... "Steve Martin"... "Atheists Don't Have No Songs".
"The Blues Had a Baby, (and Named it Rock & Roll)"
"Daddy's Drinking Up Our Christmas," Commander Cody and the Lost Planet Airmen
I got beat to the punch by a bunch of ya’ll, so I’ll nominate "Baby Let Me Bang Your Box" by Doug Clark and The Hot Nuts. How that got by the censors so my friends and I were able to listen to it in the turntable booth at our local record shop (you older guys know about them. Ever make out in one?) in San Jose is a mystery to me. Even their name!
Then there is my ol’ buddy from SJ Cornell Hurd, now in Austin fronting a Western Swing/Hard Country Band (part Asleep At The Wheel, part Commander Cody) with his song "If You Mess With My Mind You’re Gonna Get Your Hands Dirty". Covered by the great Springfield Missouri band The Symptoms aka The Morells. Now THERE was a band!
"Waiter, There's A Yawn In My Ear"
"Singing The Dolphin Through"