Girlfriends and wifes, how do YOU cope?


I would be very interested in finding out how one manages to justify (or sneak in the home) expensive audio equipment without having to sell your soul to the Devil? It's quite a challenge for many of us I think. I heard of someone buying a Bel Canto DAC and telling his girlfriend that " Oh it's just a $ 100.00 power conditionner", or whatever. Seem like we need to get creative here if we can pursue this crazy hobby much longer! Regards All...
ampman66
I don't think so Pete. Sure it starts out with Willie and Bonnie, and the next thing I know you'll be recommending Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg and Pavoratti... :)

Cheers,
John
That's easy. Whatever was the real cost, simply multiply it by 10%, which then becomes the new real cost. The only exception is when you sell a piece of equipment. Then you multiply the selling price by 300%, which then become the new price for which you sold it.

Also, under NO circumstances should you admit to anything. Deny, deny deny. Even if you get caught with the receipt in your hand. Deny deny deny. And as you're denying, crumple the receipt, put it into your mouth, and swallow. Then innocently ask, "what receipt"?

Trust me. This works. After awhile she will also begin to wonder "what receipt" and will eventually decide the entire episode was imagined.

If in doubt, please refer to "A Guide For the Married Man" starring Walter Mathau and Robert Morse. Pretend the blonde is your new amp. It's an apt comparison. Oh yes: do your best to ignore the somewhat moralistic ending.
This is probably one of the greatest and funniest threads I've ever read!!
First, unlimited props to the ladies that came in on behalf of their husbands and shared with us their thoughts on the matter.
I guess I'm pretty lucky in that my wife lets me buy most of the nice things I want. It especially helps if we're doing well financially and if I can make her understand WHY I need that extra amp.
My beef is that she hates listening to anything over whispering SPL (best way I can describe it), so that all my nice gear is rendered useless. At that volume level, I might as well listen to a pair of Bose from Fry's... I literally have to turn on the English For The Hearing Impaired subtitles... I am however in the process of remodeling a room JUST FOR ME and the gear. Yay!!
2 words: trade off. Buy myself equiptment=buy her whatever she wants of equal value. Accept derision for my obsession and indulge her whims in any area she sees fit.
She buys baskets, boxes and furntiture, cooking crap and the occasional car. Also, her travel budget is several times what it'd be if it were up to me. In exchange, I buy trumpets, guitars, two-channel audio and fast cars. Much as I am occasionally tempted, I spend no money on other women.

This formula has worked for 39-years. Keeping it in balance, staying out of debt and not forsaking the retirement fund are also part of the winning, long-term formula. When I had less money, I spent proportionally less.

Dave
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Shandorne, I have that COMPLETELY covered, we simply don't have that problem in my home........

(I don't have a basement)
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Have you in fact got any cheese here at all?

No, sir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.

Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
......And now for something completely different....a man with a tape recorder up his nose...
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Shadorne,

"If their partner is" NOT "devoting an inordinate amount of time, energy and disposable income to an obsessive audio passion in the basement then, if she has any sense, she might well be wondering", if he hasn't got an affair with another woman....
(;
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Good point! Maybe the system shouldn't be in the basement then? Would you suggest a bedroom system?
Fake polystyrene nose, perhaps.

But........no, no, no - it's spelt Albert: Luxury Yach-t, but it's pronounced 'Throatwobbler Mangrove'

kind of a bugger to remember...
If your sig other complains, you can always say "Well, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!" BUT you soon will have guests....
"Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, (and nice red uniforms)"
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Shadorne, you could of course turn tables on her and keep your tone arm before she strikes.
When I got into audio, I cut back on my excessive drinking, hard drug use, gambling, womanizing, reckless driving, and pee-ing all over the toilet. It was a pretty good trade-off all in all to her.

Actually, I have a super-duper wife who's watching me type this, who is very supporting of my hobby. We share everything together. My other hobby is flying and all my pals are amazed (and envious) that I have a gal who likes to fly as much as she does.
Heck, Paul, I should have thought of that before. What I great time I would have had before I would have repented. Now it is too late alas....
06-01-08: Paulfolbrecht
When I got into audio, I cut back on my excessive drinking, hard drug use, gambling, womanizing, reckless driving, and pee-ing all over the toilet. It was a pretty good trade-off all in all to her.


Heck, I can't give up all that fun. I even do all of that stuff with my audio gear. Sure, my wife thinks that me 'peeing all over my speakers' is disgusting, but a man's gotta mark his territory, don't he??

Cheers,
John
My wife and I have a deal. Bills first, savings second, our hobbies third. She's actually quite open minded to my hobbies (the other one involves 2 wheels). As long as everything gets paid, I buy what I want.
I have my own rule to my wife as well. First, I try my beset to put $ into HER saving and expense every month. I try not to mention anything about my new devices/gears. If she notices there's something new to my system, then I just explain more that "one in one out" which is equal to no change :)
"When I got into audio, I cut back on my excessive drinking, hard drug use, gambling, womanizing, reckless driving, and pee-ing all over the toilet. It was a pretty good trade-off all in all to her."

Obviously, Paul is being funny, but I think he's on to something here. Here's the plan (And anybody who rats gets it; I'm from Chicago - things can happen): Every time you get the upgrade bug, develop a really intolerable new habit. Just before she calls a lawyer, buy a new piece of equipment(cheap, at least the first time) and then immediately stop the offensive behavior; do a real 180(at least the first time). Repeat as necessary. I'm telling you boys, we can train them just like lab rats. If smartly executed, in time, they will be the ones telling us "Why don't you go buy a new amp or something" every time we become annoying.
My wife has a good idea the cost and I only buy audio equioment with side work money. Plus she knows sooner or later it will all be hers, her retirement money if you will. The oldest person in my family lived to be 72, hers they average 100. We figure I'll be gone way before her. Watch for the sale.
There are three main things I spend large sums of money on:

1) wife
2) kids
3) house and related maintenance

That's a fair deal that everyone seems happy with, including me for the most part.

Actually, the money I spend on the music and audio pales in comparison to these main areas, as it probably should be and it is a good investment I would say that keeps me well entertained and cheerful.

If only Al Bundy had a nice stereo......

Dear, i could always sell all my gear and play golf or go ski with my pals....then you would be alone taking care of the house and kids :)
Ha, that's a good one Albert, no basement!

Yeah, no basement THAT ANYONE KNOWS ABOUT!!

(Hope that wasn't too creepy in light of current events...or in the fact that it may tend to imply that your system isn't your REAL system...Just imagine that!)
Zaike,
Would you suggest I make my basement known, because there is this obsessive thought that my wife is not my REAL wife?
Ah! The famous WAF (wife acceptance factor). Simple: you lie. They don't give a dam and they don't know anything about it. So why bother? And its your money, unless you are cough up in joint account gimik. You' ll never catch in one of these!
09-18-09: Spacer
Ah! The famous WAF (wife acceptance factor). Simple: you lie. They don't give a dam and they don't know anything about it.

Looks like you have been spending a lot of time with stupid women!! You really think that women are that stupid, huh?
Stupid!? Not at all. It is just a subject in which they IN GENERAL have little interest, or if they do have an interest, they do not understand the kind of money we (I am) are ready to put into it.

It is a gender issue IMO. Just like there is some music that men prefer IN GENERAL and other that women prefer IN GENERAL. Studidity has nothing to do with it.
Bombaywalla,

You might also answer that I'm the one who might be stupid spending so much money on sound (I would if I did not keep the spending under control), and you would have a good point.
they do not understand the kind of money we (I am) are ready to put into it.
Likewise, how 'bout us understanding the kind of money they invest in buying coloured @!X?@ stones stuck onto @!X?@ metal trinkets they then proceed stick into, or hang from, any available...???
Why are diamonds a girl's best friend -- rather than her husband(s) or her dog(s)???:)
MEN, grab your calculators!

Add up the cost of all your gear. (This may be shocking to her at first) Pull up ads for similar gear for sale on the net ... subtract that number from yours. Remember this number!

Now take your neighbors fishing boat, add gas for each time out, beer, insurance, repairs, storage and travel expenses for trips they might take. Find a similar boat for sale on the net, subtract that number, and see which hobby is really more expensive!

You can do this with golfing too. Add the greens fees, travel, CC Membership, dinner and beer for the amount of time you have owned your audio equipment ... a 5 year total is amazing. Now try to re-sell that and see what you are left with!

Now, if you are looking to get divorced, ask your wife for all the receipts she has for misc. expenses for the same time period, add those up ... check to see what you can re-sell those items for, and subtract that number from the total! Need I say more??????

Liars figure, but figures don't lie!
Stereolady....you seem like a woman whose mind is guided by common sense....I've not dealt with this in your gender before.....it's very refreshing, to say the least. Not surprising that you wound up at AudiogoN.

Cheers,
John
My girl holds the tape measure while I zero in the sweet spot. Only time she comes into the sound room. Great gal. Has NEVER uttered the words..."can you lower that!".
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Still in Denver...RMAF just concluded. Heard the inestimable Harry Pearson deliver a talk...brief discussion of demographic homogeneity...I consider myself exceedingly fortunate -- I've discovered my spouse, whom was present for the 3-day audiofest, is an audiophile!!