Honesty is indeed the best policy, but marraige involves compromise. The dollars should be within your means, but if she has an expensive clothes or jewelry habit, you're golden. To make the spending more acceptable, all new components become "gifts": birthday, anniversary, or Christmas. Hopefully you don't need more than three things each year.
Aesthetics are another matter. In my case, she vetoed the speakers I wanted for the living room because they were "too big," so I explained that to get sound that good from a smaller speaker would be more expensive. She said "fine" as long as she liked the way they looked. On the electronics side, she insists that I keep all gear out of sight in an old built-in cabinet. Space is limited and the turntable eats up a big chunk (for dust-cover clearance). Tubes seem out even though I would love to try them(no ventilation, except for the open cabinet doors). So I have stayed with SS gear. hmmm...could I get away with a tube preamp? Anyway, if you love each other, you can find a way to make it work.
Aesthetics are another matter. In my case, she vetoed the speakers I wanted for the living room because they were "too big," so I explained that to get sound that good from a smaller speaker would be more expensive. She said "fine" as long as she liked the way they looked. On the electronics side, she insists that I keep all gear out of sight in an old built-in cabinet. Space is limited and the turntable eats up a big chunk (for dust-cover clearance). Tubes seem out even though I would love to try them(no ventilation, except for the open cabinet doors). So I have stayed with SS gear. hmmm...could I get away with a tube preamp? Anyway, if you love each other, you can find a way to make it work.