I haven't bought any "filty" gear, but I sat at my computer and laughed hard and long at your post. thanks Mike! :-D
Sorry I dont have any hooker, etc. jokes, but have a Mac joke as youll see. Maybe it is just Mac gear that gets filthy?
Purchased a MINT MR-78 McIntosh tuner on ebay. After the seller shipped the package, he emailed that the MINT tuner was on the way and that by the way, two of the feet underneath the chassis were broken off from the chassis.
The package arrived & when I opened the box, I swore someone was smoking inside due to the intense reeking of nicotine. The entire MIINT tuner, both the exterior and the interior circuit boards, were encased in stains from who knows how many years and how many cigarettes. Took me several hours to remove the exterior stains. Could not do anything about the interior stains or the smell.
The manual arrived later in the mail and wouldnt you know it, someone was smoking inside the manila envelope that the instructions came in.
I contacted the seller indicating that the tuner was in lousy condition and not even close to MINT due to the stains and the broken feet and other problems. And that he should have asked if I wanted the MINT tuner prior to shipping when he realized the feet were broken. His response, Oh, thats my father, hes a heavy smoker. A little smoke wont hurt the tuner. And although he took pictures of the MINT tuner, he was not aware that the feet were broken off and had only discovered this when he was packaging the tuner. And that it was such a minor issue, he sent the tuner without asking if it was OK with me. Obviously his definition of MINT differs from mine.
One time I saw a mouse crawl into the port of my old B&W center speaker. I took it apart(speaker) and found a whole sh-tload of droppings. I cleaned it out. Later when I sold it to a friend, I did tell him about it. I blasted the speaker when the mouse was in it to see if he would ome out with a megaphone held up to his ear but it didn't happen.
I bought a Rotel 2100 tuner off Ebay (seems to be the recurring theme) and the seller charged me a "handling" fee for packing. Well, he used old empty plastic milk cartons and an old mens' suit as packing material. The box was from the supermarket. It was either a lettuce or chicken box, I can't specifically recall. No bubble-wrap or even a plastic bag to cover the tuner. It had a small nick on the handle but otherwise was ok. A request to refund the "handling" fee, resulted in exchanged incendiary emails to no avail except negative feedback, despite the fact that I paid him which is the only obligation a buyer has. Another Ebay near-disaster. Another reason NOT to buy from Ebay sellers. And another reason why Ebay feedback is of no consequence here on Audiogon.
what is it with these idiots & the nasty supermarket boxes,i bought my son a intergrated a while back & the fool packed it in a grape box & he left a few smashed & rotting grapes in the bottom too,to make things worse the tightwad used wadded up newspapers for packing material,the only thing missing from his superior packing skills was tying a peice of string around the mushy box to keep it closed,needless to say that amp arrived smashed to bits.
gunbei,is teef singular or plural,hmmm,i think plural would be teefs or toofs.